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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Latest proof that I’m failing at life.

66 replies

biggirlknickers · 04/10/2019 21:36

Pathetic whinge alert.

I moved house almost 2 years ago.

Today I discovered that I never told the DVLA my new address.

I have a driving in the bus lane PCN from 4 months ago that I’ve only just found out about. The fine has doubled in size and they are about to send in bailiffs. All because I didn’t change my stupid address. And because apparently I drove in a bus lane which I certainly don’t remember and would be out of character (but I guess I must have done it 🤷🏻‍♀️)

I can’t afford this fine and I feel really stupid.

To get to my mid forties, have a responsible job and children who rely on me, yet do something stupid like that.

I can’t imagine anyone in my perfect family doing this. Proving to myself how useless I really am.

Tell me your latest proof that you’re failing at life and make me feel less alone in my stupidity please.

OP posts:
Rayn · 04/10/2019 21:38

Mid forties and up to my eyeballs in debt after buying a business that was doomed to fail. Can't seem to get a grip on finances!

AliceAbsolum · 04/10/2019 21:39

We all make mistakes. Call them and ask about your options. How much is it now?

PooWillyBumBum · 04/10/2019 21:39

There is so much of this boring admin stuff to do, it’s inevitable some falls through the cracks.

I’m religious about scanning and keeping everything, making lists, using calendars and occasionally do make stupid mistakes.

Stop being so hard on yourself, breathe, sort the fine and you’ll soon forget it.

PS. If you struggle with budgeting I heartily recommend YNAB!

Fettuccinecarbonara · 04/10/2019 21:40

Contact the court who issued the fine; tell them the situation and ask for the case to be re-opened under s142, and relisted for a hearing.

Yes you’ll have to attend court; yes you’ll still have points and a fine, but it is likely to be a smaller fine with proper repayment terms.

Original poster
biggirlknickers · 04/10/2019 21:43

It’s £98.

Doesn’t sound like much to some but I’ve been playing financial catch-up for months and was just about to get back on my feet properly at my next payday. Which in fact comes after the 14 day deadline I’ve been given, after which the fine incurs extra costs and goes up to over £300.

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/10/2019 21:43

I once realised that I'd been driving, sans MOT, for the best part of two weeks. How I hadn't been pulled over is a miracle...

CAG12 · 04/10/2019 21:43

When they got rid of car tax paper discs, I forgot to tax my car. Came out of my hospital shift to find my car clamped and id be charged for tax evasion. The car got towed in the end because I couldnt pay to get the clamps removed within 24hrs. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I laugh about it now, but it was an expensive evolution.

Blueshadow · 04/10/2019 21:44

My total recent failure to deal with driving and parking the large hire car we got given after our little car was written off. I drove it because I had to. It was awful, and I was scared of damaging it the whole time we had it. Any normal grown up would have been delighted to have such a huge gleaming vehicle to cruise about in. I hated it so much!

Original poster
biggirlknickers · 04/10/2019 21:44

What is an s142?

OP posts:
relax2 · 04/10/2019 21:45

Gees forgot to do mine moved a year ago 🙈

Original poster
biggirlknickers · 04/10/2019 21:47

Oh LadyMonicaBaddingham, I once drove around without an MOT for 5 months before I realised!

That was an earlier proof of failing at life. I clearly haven’t learned my lesson Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
biggirlknickers · 04/10/2019 21:49

I’m tempted to get rid of my car. I’m clearly not responsible enough for car ownership.

OP posts:
Kerberos · 04/10/2019 21:51

Couple of years ago I forgot to apply for my child's school place. We all do it. Life is busy.

Stravapalava · 04/10/2019 21:56

Ring them & explain the situation. They should be able to put a payment plan in place for you to pay in installments instead of the whole lot in one go. It's better to work with them.

Flowers and un-mumsnetty hugs for you OP.

Mercedes519 · 04/10/2019 22:00

If it’s any consolation I got dressed the other day and jumped in the car to give DS a lift to school. It was only when I got back home I realised I had my dress on inside out.

I’ve also walked round all day with a slight limp after putting on two different but similar boots, one had slight more heel...

LakieLady · 04/10/2019 22:02

I got a £60 fine for not having an MOT.

I was convinced that, when I'd bought the car the previous July, it had a year's MOT. I got fined in June, after I'd arranged a date for it to go in for its next one.

Why the fuck didn't I just check?

Msfoxy17 · 04/10/2019 22:05

My husband recently had £390 worth of fines for exactly the same thing..driving in a bus lane in London..he hasn't realised as they were all within about a week of each other and the lane had only just changed to a bus lane..it wasn'tclear at all. We didn't get any of the initial letters as we moved and forgot to update the DVLA so the letters went to our old address. Horrendous way to waste £400. I feel for you.

LakieLady · 04/10/2019 22:05

Lol, @Mercedes519.

I once went to work wearing one black shoe and one navy one (they were identical apart from the colour). In my defence, it was a dark morning and under artificial light they looked identical.

WifOfBif · 04/10/2019 22:06

Please be careful ringing and explaining, I’m sure there’s a fine of up to £1000 for not changing address on a licence!

Do check because I may be mistaken.

Msfoxy17 · 04/10/2019 22:07

It's very easy to overlook these things..when you move you have so much to think about. It doesn't mean you are useless! You were probably too busy thinking about things to do with your kids!!

Lagatha · 04/10/2019 22:09

It's a £1000 fine for not changing your address. Fgs don't admit that.
Pay the fine and then put your change of address in asap.
I know it's shit but at least you didn't get the £1k fine.

anyoneseenmykeys · 04/10/2019 22:11

You are not failing at life because you made a mistake - you forgot, it happens. No one is "perfect". Shit happens, you just deal with the consequences as well as you possibly can.

DisappearingGirl · 04/10/2019 22:12

If that's the worst life-fail you've done, you're doing pretty well :)

I once got a ticket on my car for parking on pavement (narrow roads with no off-road parking so everyone on one side always parks slightly on pavement otherwise no-one can drive past, but one day they came and ticketed everyone).

Anyway I didn't need to use the car for a few weeks so didn't see ticket until day before it was due, and there was no option to pay online. I had to go to pay it at courts in town, getting frisked on the way in with all the petty crims whilst pushing baby DD in buggy. That felt a bit of a fail!

Jayaywhynot · 04/10/2019 22:15

Got informed on monday that our workplace is being closed down, all staff being made redundant, if been there 20 yrs, I'm 53 with no job and instead of pulling myself together all I can do is cry

MonnaLiza · 04/10/2019 22:25

I am really tired and I am going to bed now but Promise that's 100 percent nothing compared to my failings. Which involve me having made am mistake that's going to cost us thousands of ££££ and perhaps having to sell the house to cover it. there there i bet you feel better now :) Going to bed but more tomorrow (if I can face 'fessing up in the daylight...)

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