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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not expect such a ridiculous remark from dp

51 replies

bosslady · 13/08/2007 14:59

I just called in at his work to drop something off for him after i had been to asda, he happened to see that i had purchased dd a new school skirt and he said to dd "I dont know why your mother has bought that now" i replied with "because she is going back to school in a few weeks and she needed a new one" He then had the cheek to say "she doesnt go back for three weeks so the money would have been better off in the bank" this infurited me as i pointed out to him that the skirt cost £3.00 and what difference would it have made anyway? to which he said "you just need to think about things" Does he think i like going and choosing school uniform? The reason i am annoyed is that its okay for him to go for a couple of pints on a Friday to the pub, but i have to leave three quid in the bank for a skirt that she needs for school.
I will also add we are not on the bread line or anything in fact he runs a successful business so i woul understand him being annoyed if we were skint!!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 13/08/2007 15:00

weird....cut his bank card up and tell him to put in a request for money when he needs some and you can consider whether it should be taken out the bank!

Original poster
bosslady · 13/08/2007 15:02

he he i like that idea!!

OP posts:
LizaRose · 13/08/2007 15:02

I think you are very organised buying school uniform already! I have been meaning to do that since the beginning of the hols and will probably rush out the day before term starts and there will be nothing left in the right size...

Sixer · 13/08/2007 15:02

Maybe he just needs a little reminder, that if you didn't buy it now, in 3 weeks the size required may not and probably won't be available.

3andnomore · 13/08/2007 15:03

Is he always this controlling about money....I could not live with a man like that....grrrr on your behalf

Original poster
bosslady · 13/08/2007 15:04

thankyou ladies my point exactly, i am quite annoyingly organised, i hate doing things at the last minute i think he would call me a control frea!!

OP posts:
moondog · 13/08/2007 15:05

What a twat.
I would have gone ballisitc had my dh reacted in same way.

emj23 · 13/08/2007 15:06

Oh for God's sake, what dfference does it make to him if you buy it now or in a couple of weeks?? Is he mad? He should think himself lucky you can buy DD a skirt for £3, what would he do if her uniform was only available from John Lewis or something??

I bought DS some new uniform last week because as others have pointed out, if you leave it til the week before they go back there will be bog all left in the shops.

Original poster
bosslady · 13/08/2007 15:07

I wouldnt say he was controlling about money now he used to be when we first started out he really stressed about it. If anyone was controlling about it i would say it was me i have a limit in the account and i freak if we get near it!! I dont know what his problem is! I think hes turning into his dad! He is severly TIGHT when it comes to money.

OP posts:
Original poster
bosslady · 13/08/2007 15:09

I feel so much better now i thought i was being touchy but clearly i am not and i will make it clear to him when he comes home that he was being very unreasonable!!

OP posts:
LowFatPumpkinJuice · 13/08/2007 15:10

Tell him you were thinkning, because in 3 weeks when the world and her dog are buying school skirts you can rest safely in the knowledge that you're shopping is done and you wont be left without a skirt, or traipsing the high street to find one much dearer elsewhere.

Men!

Slap him!

Original poster
bosslady · 13/08/2007 15:12

Right im off to my friends now to have a good old bitch about men!! thank you all again xx

OP posts:
dazedandconfunded · 13/08/2007 20:39

Are there any other bits of school unoform that need getting - shoes for example? If so, tell him that getting them is now HIS responsibility. You ca almost guarantee they won't have the sizes and he will have a nightmarish time traipsing round town.

Nextstepplease · 13/08/2007 20:49

You should tell him that actually he hasn't paid for it but the Government i.e your child benefit ! About to but two new pairs of school shoes tomorrow and its coming out of the child benefit !

onetiredmummy · 13/08/2007 20:49

This strikes a chord with me, my dh does exactly the same but not all the time, only when something has happened that has made him panic about money & not being able to pay bills. If yours does this all the time then fair play to your rant! But if its sudden & unusual try seeing whats wrong. Not easy when 3 quid is an issue I know....

kickassangel · 13/08/2007 20:50

do you get interest on a current account? if not, what's the point in leaving money in it? you may as well leave it lying rolled up in a sock!

bookwormtailmum · 13/08/2007 20:52

I bought my dd's new uniform before she'd broken up from school . I'm not super organised all the time but I hate dragging an irritable child around the shops in last few days of August to find naff all in her size. £3 is neither here or there in the grand scheme of how much school costs.

Have you bought her school shoes yet

crokky · 13/08/2007 20:56

what a bizarre attitude your DP has to spending £3 on a necessity!

  • plenty of skirts left at this time
  • they are not going to reduce the price between now and then!
  • teach DD to be organised

would he have preferred driving to asda at 9pm the night before school starts

Sparkletastic · 13/08/2007 20:59

my thoughts exactly kickassangel - how much interest precisely would £3 earn in 3 weeks anyhoooooo?!

pointydog · 13/08/2007 21:12

Is your dh annoyed about a £3 skirt or is he in fact annoyed about something else entirely?

Carbonel · 13/08/2007 23:44

Next time can you tell him you put it on the credit card so you will actually get a certain number of days interest free credit plus leave the money in the bank?

Hopefully you will not have to pay the bill until after school starts

dmo · 14/08/2007 07:55

bookworm so did i got both boys uniforms in june
ds1 is off to high school this time so wanted to organise his uniform £300 later his uniform was complete
ds2 just need a new school jumper so pretty easy

ask your dh the night b4 school starts that dd needs shoes, socks and pe stuff and tell him to go and buy it

FlameBatfink · 14/08/2007 08:00
Hmm
Katy44 · 14/08/2007 08:07

My DH is like this when he has one of his regular panics about money. Not sure if he'd be quite this bad but the reasons would be that he wouldn't realise how little time left before school, and he wouldn't realise how much the skirt actually cost. Once he'd made the remark he'd realise how stupid it was but be unwilling to admit he was being stupid!
When I was pregnant and due in April I kept wanting to get a moses basket (we'd got almost everything else). He kept saying "why do we need to spend the money on that now, we'd be better off saving it" (in Feb). Now I appreciate there wasn't a mad hurry, but at what point was he planning to wake up and say "TODAY is the day. Buy your moses basket!"
By which time the sale would have ended and my boots vouchers would have expired!!

Katy44 · 14/08/2007 08:08

bee in his bonnet is the best way to describe it