Not expect such a ridiculous remark from dp

[bosslady]

I just called in at his work to drop something off for him after i had been to asda, he happened to see that i had purchased dd a new school skirt and he said to dd "I dont know why your mother has bought that now" i replied with "because she is going back to school in a few weeks and she needed a new one" He then had the cheek to say "she doesnt go back for three weeks so the money would have been better off in the bank" this infurited me as i pointed out to him that the skirt cost £3.00 and what difference would it have made anyway? to which he said "you just need to think about things" Does he think i like going and choosing school uniform? The reason i am annoyed is that its okay for him to go for a couple of pints on a Friday to the pub, but i have to leave three quid in the bank for a skirt that she needs for school.
I will also add we are not on the bread line or anything in fact he runs a successful business so i woul understand him being annoyed if we were skint!!

[elesbells]

is there something he is not telling you perhaps? could it be that you do have some money problems but he is hiding the fact? it does seem a trivial amount to be complaining about but if he is worried about money it could be the reason. the comment he made about you needing to think about things seemed a bit of an odd thing to say over three quid.

[elasticbandstand]

perhpas you caught him in "Work Mode"?
Is he normally so penny pinching>?

[oddjobgirl]

DP unreasonable for sure. I'd suggest he might like to take several days off work - two days before school returns and try to find all the new school uniform, kit needed. You have been sensible, organized and prudent .... £3! Sometimes we all speak garbage IMO DP should have thought before speaking.

[bosslady]

Hello he came home from work last night with something that he had purchased so i asked did it cost more that £3 in a very sarcastic and smug manner, he then said yeah okay fair enough i was out of order (not that he was wrong, he would never admit that)i asked what his problem was and he said he thought it would have cost about £15 for the skirt, but i have come to the conclusion that he is a typical man and theres no way he was going to back down he would swear black was white in an argument he (thinks) he is ALWAYS right!!! As for shoes and other bits no i havent got them yet i am going to make him come into town on a very busy Saturday afternoon to show him how horrific it is!! Last year dd Gran got her shoes the last week of the hols and she struggled like mad to get her size, i should remind him of that,if i thought he could manage to take her and come back with the correct items i would send him on his own, but going on the fact he thought a school skirt would cost £15 i think its best i go as i would probably get the blame for him spending to much money!! For the record though the swine never said sorry, men grrrrr!!!

[gringottsgoblin]

take it back and then make him go and buy uniform the weekend before schools open again. i still have nightmares about last time i tried that

[bosslady]

I very nearly did take it back i was that annoyed, but i would have been doing myself an injustice as i wasnt in the wrong! plus they only had one age 5-6 so i had to get it and keep it!!

[binklehasflipped]

My dh is like this. He spends untold thousands on the latest gadgetry including nike trainers that link up to his ipod for when he's working out in three different colours (he's never used them the the lazy a*hole!!), but if I get a pair of twelve pound shoes from New Look or similiar he has something to say about it.

[bosslady]

We have been building an extention so thats cost alot of money but we are managing okay we are not overdrawn or anything, ithink as we had a heap of money to do it and now its dwindled down it fraeks him out a bit!! He also thinks its okay to spend on stuff for him ,we have a dog that he was training and bought all sorts of crap off the internet, i would say including paying for the dog he has spent at least £350 if not more but like you say we get a bargain and its like we have drained the bamk account!!

[RGPargy]

I'm at the OP. I would have lumped him!!

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

Seems pretty sensible to buy the bargain £3 skirt while you can still find one in her size - what if you leave it later, they sell out and you end up having to pay out more?

[hecciesmum]

I think it's just men. Mine hardly spends any money as I pay the mortgage, most of the bills and food shopping. He's always volunteering to pay for things, and sometimes he gets the groceries or similar, and if I was to ask him for cash it would not be a problem. However, ask him to pay his one bill of the month, namely the childminder, and he starts having a wobblymeltdown about how much it is, "Good god - how much do we pay this woman"....ummmm alot less than we make by me going out to work darling...Similarly if he buys in a load of wine, we then have 3 days of comments about "do you realise how much all this costs", before we are allowed to just get on with drinking it and forgetting for anotehr month or so.

I think men are actually quite irrational about cash. Its like their brains get stuck and they obsess over things

[Quattrocento]

Have bought and sorted out all the school uniform for both DCs and very pleased I am to have done it. This is because if I leave it to the last minute, they will have run out of things. He is very lucky that you are so well organised.

Can I ask if there is an underlying issue here? One of my colleagues at work complains constantly about the fact that he is the sole breadwinner and his wife is at home all day spending. I don't think he is being mean and stingy. I think he is genuinely finding this to be stressful and he feels the responsibility for having to provide for them all.

[bookwormtailmum]

I don't think that men, if they are the sole-breadwinner, realise how much money can be involved in running a house. I don't mean to sound patronising but a daily expense for man could be a paper, his lunchtime sandwich and maybe a few coffees or a drink after work. Meanwhile his wife, partner or whomever is out buying school uniforms or clothes for the kids and spending a relatively large amount in one go. My xp once asked me to account for how I spent the maintenance so one day I decided to ring him everytime I spent money on my dd with the price and item - she was a toddler so it was nappies, gripe water, sun cream and so on. I must admit I did 'save up' the shopping that week for this exercise . After about 4 calls he switched his phone off .

[sparklesandwine]

got out and spend a ludicrous amount on a something you don't need but really want just to demonstrate what wasting money actually is!

[Judy1234]

This is what happens when women don't earn their own money I suppose. Iniquitous position that rarely works well.

[Nightynight]

I would say, this is what happens when men dont do the shopping. They think a skirt from Asda costs 15 quid (shakes head)

[Nightynight]

bookwormtailmum, I earn and spend the money, and I think you have a good point. I sometimes find myself in the shop, with a load of school clothes or whatever, calculating how many hours it will take me to earn what Ive just spent! If you only see one side of the picture, it must be hard to understand the other.

[nightowl]

im all for equality. my advice? send him off to get all the uniform, the weekend before school starts again

i remember last year so well..not one sodding pair of grey trousers left anywhere, and i live near a HUGE shopping centre. i paid a lot more than i would have liked because all the cheaper stuff was gone!

[Judy1234]

Why do some women let their men make them buy the uniform. My ex husband did more uniform buying than I did. He got the labels sewn on too. These aren't women's jobs in lots of marriages.

[binklehasflipped]

how ever could you let him go Xenia? He sounds a real catch!

[stleger]

I am threatening to go on Big Brother next year to avoid the hell of Bak 2 Skool. Why do shops thing that this is a fun and original way to spell on a poster!?

[GoingThroughChanges]

Perhaps your dh was at home more hours in a week than you were Xenia?

[bookwormtailmum]

I buy my dd's uniform since her father takes no interest in his daughter and probably doesn't even know what school she attends or what year she's in. I don't sew on name tapes though - my sister kindly does that for me since my sewing skills are virtually nix and it's nice if they can last out the year (she also makes her fancy-dress costumes). I see buying school uniform as my job as I am her parent not necessarily because I am female.

[Quattrocento]

In fairness to Xenia - the whole issue was there and I had already alluded to it.