To think that charities should be better at saying thank you? A donor's lament.

[FreshFreesias]

Some years ago I set up a Trust that makes substantial donations to small and medium animal charities and I am often disappointed to rarely be thanked or acknowledged. Of course, I don’t donate to receive a pat on the back, but it is distressing to receive a generic printed-out thank you form for a 5 figure donation, to have my name misspelt or even, bizarrely, have my bank thanked in a charity’s annual report rather than the Trust.

There is rarely any follow up describing how a donation was spent and what value it has created.

What charities don’t understand is that if they take the time to build up personal relationships with their donors, especially their large donors, they will be ahead of the pack and we will continue to donate to them and remember them in our wills.

I once made a 10k donation to a respected medium-sized charity and in a note with the cheque said I would like to be more involved with elephant and dolphin conservation. I got a lovely note back from the CEO, who I have met before, asking me to contact his secretary to organise a meeting. I’m not sure why the secretary couldn’t contact me herself but never mind. So I duly emailed the secretary and never heard anything back.

Astonishingly, given this tawdry treatment, (I was so upset on discovering that African baby elephants were being torn from their herds to sell to Chinese zoos and this charity specialises in zoo welfare), I contacted the CEO again, pledging 20k to kick start a campaign about this. Again he emailed me, copying in his (presumably very busy) secretary, saying she would contact me to organise a meeting, but she never did. Presumably they are so overwhelmed with large donations, they couldn’t be bothered to follow up mine.

I've had more luck with small rescue charities in Europe, who maintain regular contact, make us feel we are doing something worthwhile and are making a difference.

AIBU to think that charities should spend as much time thanking and building relationships with donors as they do in crafting their appeals for dosh?

OP "Of course, I don’t donate to receive a pat on the back, but it is distressing to receive a generic printed-out thank you form for a 5 figure donation, "

"Distressing"? OP is just having a moan.

@AutumnGold1, well, it's great that your dad didn't want a thank you letter, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying being thanked or thanking people. It costs nothing and makes the world a much more pleasant place to live in.

The OP makes valuable points and many of the comments about the charity sector are very illuminating. I don't know what world you're living in when you opine, `I don't think charities are struggling for money', because all the ones I know are in constant need. Perhaps if you were more charitably disposed you'd know this.

Sunny, i just looked it up

Decline in donations since 2017 but I wonder if that coincides with more awareness about how big charities spend? And the Oxfam debacle.

You can think I'm uncharitable if you like. I think I was naive. Regardless, I'll stick with small local charities - not so much for donations as I don't really donate much - but for volunteering.

But the OP was thanked!

What's with all the "manners cost nothing" stuff?! They said thank you!

I don’t give as much as you but I donate monthly to quite a few , and don’t expect much back .

I think it might be time rethink your generosity OP

They clearly said thank you to the OP.

Her beef was that they refused to involve her in the running of the charity, or to make her feel a more personal connection.

OP, seriously, maybe you should volunteer to become involved at the trustee level, if you want that kind of engagement?

At work we set up a food collection for local food bank & people donated

We received a thank you letter requesting no further food, but money donations

We all decided to stop donating

Another example, donated money to a charity
Received no thank you letter
S few months later, the charity phoned asking if I was going to donate again. I said, I'd received no thank you letter, so no.

The charity sent the thank you letter, but they received no further donations

It is nice to receive a letter, especially if it is a group of people that donate

A thank you was given, generic or not that is sufficient. I’d much rather my donation went to the cause than to employ someone else to call or email to thank me again.

@Sockypuppet, OP writes: "I am often disappointed to rarely be thanked or acknowledged". You may think it's unreasonable to expect thanks but most people think if someone goes out of their way to help someone or give them money it is not unreasonable to expect acknowledgement.

A subsequent poster wrote that a family member donated 100k to a charity and the family had no acknowledgement. I happen to think this is bloody rude while you would think this perfectly acceptable.

People have different expectations. Continuing to berate the OP for hers is mean-spirited and unhelpful.

They were likely overrun with perishable goods and wanted funds to actually be more sustainable and continue to meet the community's needs.

They took you at face value that you actually wanted to support their mission.

God this thread is depressing.

Not a single person here, including me, has said its okay not to thank donors.

I always thought giving to a charity was a charitable act because you do so with no benefit to yourself.
If you start demanding a thank you or bribing them with more money to follow a cause you want then surely it's no longer an act of charity?

I've worked for companies that activity promote raising money for charity or donating time or goods, as part of their company values
It's difficult to motivate colleagues, when no thank you is received

We sent non perishable food to the food bank
They wanted money for vans to distribute

Another Trust fundraiser here, not thanking a donor is inexcusable!

YANBU
I stopped donating to a well known charity because they would ring up and say "thanks for your monthly donation... can you increase it?"

I've donated to various charities over the years, money, time, goods for various reasons

Sometimes, I think it's better to give a little more for birthdays/Xmas/weddings to people that I know personally, than to charities where the money goes into a big pot
Or a tip to someone who has provided me with good service

Having said that, I usually donate food at Xmas to a local collection point

I used to dread Christmas at the charity I worked at because people would come out of the woodwork and want to donate bags of food and old clothes for our clients. Particularly if some news stories appeared.

It was such a nuisance. Our tiny office was overcrowded with cheap food and old clothes.

We didn't mneed that. We needed money four our distribution van, or toner cartridges, or electricity.

And if we said in gentlest way possible, "Okay thanks but we're actually doing a fundraiser" we got a lot of the hiked-bosom response you see here.

Essentially if you donate money to charity, you hope that it is spent wisely

That is the best that any one can hope for

Hope one of the charities is not RSPCA, the stories about them are appalling.

The big charities are too big for their boots now.
Please donate to smaller charities who still know the meaning of the word.
To me, if you are donating large or small your heart is in the right place, and should of course be thanked, the smaller charities are very grateful.
Its not the same, but I thank you for the goodness of your heart.

You are 100% correct op. Yet when a charity agrees with you and employs a skilled stewardship professional to nurture relationships with donors like you, meet and talk about projects and work towards asking for the next 5 figure sum, the whole of mumsnet howls in outrage that a charity should dare spend money on staff.

I've had a lot of direct and indirect charity experience and definitely think small is the way to go with these things.

I volunteer with a very small local animal charity that does massive, massive amounts to improve animal welfare and has zero overheads.

They fall over themselves to thank anyone who does the tiniest thing for them and truly, honestly appreciate it.

@FreshFreesias if you still would like to donate the £20k and would be happy for it to go to a worthwhile charity - but not animals - I can give you more details.

That amount would be over half the full amount needed and would make an enormous difference.

So do you think money should be spent on thanking someone who makes a £1 donation? (a second class stamp is 61p) What about someone who makes a 50p donation? £10? Or is it only your 10k and 20k donations? Where should the generic letter start and then move to the follow up describing how a donation was spent and what value it has created?

Emails are surely cheaper than post ?