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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to live in a caravan?

423 replies

PickledLilly · 04/10/2019 12:48

I need to get out of my relationship but live in an area where rents/house prices are high and wages are low and Housing Association houses are impossible to get.

I hate the idea of being at the mercy of a landlord and want the security of something of my own but could never get a mortgage on just my wage. WIBU to buy a nice static caravan on a holiday park for me and my two children and cat to live in?

I know it would be a lot smaller than our current home (but so would anything I could afford to rent) but there are other year round residents, lovely grounds, playground and a swimming pool that’s all free for residents to use.

I just get this sense that some people would be aghast at me moving my children into a caravan but it honestly feels like my only way out. WIBU?

OP posts:
BillieEilish · 05/10/2019 16:14

OP right, I understand you are super stressed, but you are thinking very clearly and intelligently. I think we may be in slightly similar situations (though I am abroad and property is cheaper and tenants have enormously better rights)

I suggest you narrow down your thinking now to the following (ignoring posters who don't read the thread and bang on about depreciation and narrowboats and damp)

So, make a plan for next week. Break it down.

  1. Go to the park in person. Ask how much for a six month long lease? Options on leasing and costs.
  1. What sort of caravan?
  1. If you lived there permanently what are the total costs, ask for a breakdown, explain you have a permanent address to go to/mail/council tax etc for the one month a year.
  1. Move, get advice on what you are owed. Clear all clutter. Feel free!
  1. Get on with your life
  1. Ignore repeat postings about uninhabitable/cold/damp/you have to move out (which you already know)/narrowboats/depreciation/ridiculous 'kiddies getting infections' SS comments.
  1. Keep strong, as many have said, they have DONE this and it has been brilliant. Keep plodding on OP.
Original poster
PickledLilly · 05/10/2019 16:17

I don’t have 30k as a deposit, I made that clear earlier in the thread. I don’t earn enough to get a mortgage on a £150k flat on my own. Our current mortgage was for 100k and we only just got that with two of us to pay for it. If I earned enough to buy a flat, don’t you think I’d do so?!

OP posts:
BlueJava · 05/10/2019 16:17

Go for it - provided you check out the financial cost of all the charges etc and check out the coldness. However, caravans these days are a far cry from what they were - we recently rented a campervan and it made the one we had when I was a kid look like a box on wheels. This one was insulated, warm - and stayed warm - and was really lovely.

bellinisurge · 05/10/2019 16:20

My parents had to do this when I was about 9 months old. My sister got teased at school for it. I won't use the word they used at her. I'd like to think that kind of thing would be jumped on at school.
It was a temporary respite decision.

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 16:24

@timshelthechoice You're right to raise the issue of the father- I was thinking too much of my own situation, where XH has never cared what I did with now-adult DS, and I have sole parental responsibility for the DDs. Not everyone's XH will be equally laid back, it's true. Language and job issues, on the other hand, are eminently solvable problems and it's pretty easy to find people who have rocked up in another country with minimal language skills and no job, and made it work. Re depreciation, that's why a camper van is so good: in principle those depreciate too, but I've known a couple of people sell them on for a profit. I don't know much more than that as I'm not a driver, which is one reason I went for the buying abroad option, as languages are easier for me than driving. :)

Quite right also to highlight the fact that landlords won't touch UC claimants. The erratic payments and still-draconian sanctions make these tenants a very bad bet. Maybe the OP won't even qualify, if she comes out of her marriage with enough money. UC, to my mind, is the best argument in favour of emigration.

timshelthechoice · 05/10/2019 16:34

I don’t have 30k as a deposit

How do you plan to afford a quality van then?

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 16:37

I can’t move area to a cheaper area. My children are settled here, at school here, their friends are here, their dad is here and my Mum is here.

That's a "won't" rather than a "can't". Your call though.

Relocation would make life distinctly worse for all of us, not better.

I'm not sure how anyone could possibly know that in advance, but you seem to have made the decision. Having seen other people stuck in miserable ruts for years on end (not to mention having been in that situation myself) informed decisiveness is absolutely the best attitude to have. It sounds like the mixture of self imposed constraints and extrinsive ones leave you with few choices. Maybe stay with your mum for a short time and let the dust settle before sinking all your cash into the caravan purchase?

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 16:38

Extrinsic not extrinsive, jeez.

Abitmorethanusual · 05/10/2019 16:41

Charlotte, she can’t just move her children away from their other parent Hmm

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 16:47

@Abitmorethanusual, have you asked the OP's DH? Maybe he would let her, maybe not. I guess I should have taken account of the fact that XHs in general have parental responsibility when making my first post, so that's fair comment.

It's still objectively true that many other countries have cheaper housing and better tenants' rights than the UK, so, circumstances permitting, UK private tenants would be wise to look into the possibility of emigration.

Abitmorethanusual · 05/10/2019 16:49

That would be good advice if the op had given the slightest indication she wished to live abroad. She doesn’t.

raspberryk · 05/10/2019 17:08

@timshelthechoice I'm aware its all UC now, i did it, there are ways around renting like guarantors, paying more up front (from equity she's likely entitled to).
There are still calculators to use to see what you're entitled to which you can change.
And I know UC has it's problems but they do still allow a housing element which will depend on other income but they will pay up to the local housing allowance for rent either private, housing association/council, or the rent element of shared ownership. I am fairly certain they wouldn't pay anything towards a mobile home but it is something for the OP to check out.
If they don't then it may be financially more viable to rent a regular house or s/o.

bakedbeanzontoast · 05/10/2019 17:11

@PickledLilly have you looked into vans at all as a short term thing? If you search van life on you tube you will see the sort of thing I'm on about. I totally get where you are coming from re finances etc.

bakedbeanzontoast · 05/10/2019 17:13

Apologies, I see others have raised this already.

Cohle · 05/10/2019 17:20

I don’t have 30k as a deposit

How are you going to pay for a static caravan?

sleepingbeautyaurora · 05/10/2019 17:23

Well there are plenty of travellers/ gypsys who live in caravans so if they can manage then why not you? Go for it.

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 17:23

That would be good advice if the op had given the slightest indication she wished to live abroad. She doesn’t.

The OP only revealed this fact after my first post, and I'm not a mind reader. I do very much suspect, however, that this thread is being read by many other people whose circumstances are broadly similar, and who might be more open to potential solutions - no offence to the OP, who is perfectly entitled to stick to her original preference of buying a caravan.

The best solution to the housing crisis, short of more enlightened policy making, is for those affected to keep talking and thrashing out creative ideas together. I offer my own chosen solutions in the spirit of demonstrating what's possible, not to suggest it's my way or the highway.

BillieEilish · 05/10/2019 17:30

Because of the Hague Convention, there is no hope of me (in Spain) or anyone in the UK/France/Germany etc leaving with any child born in the original country. It would be kidnapping.

I know a lot about this.

f I could move countries, I would be back in the UK, in a static caravan like a shot!!!

Original poster
PickledLilly · 05/10/2019 17:33

I have no issue with people offering other solutions, I did ask for ideas! But moving away from my support network isn’t for me. I have no intention of moving my children away from their father, I would hope and expect he would still want to be fully involved in their life if we split and that they would regularly spend time with him so it’s not an option I’m personally willing to explore.

OP posts:
lakeswimmer · 05/10/2019 17:43

OP well done for thinking outside the box but please check any contract with the Park owners very carefully. A friend's ex bought one after they divorced as a stop gap and when he wanted to move had to sell it back to the Park at a very reduced rate. I got the impression he lost a lot of money. However, as others have said, you're "losing" money on renting a flat too and the external environment and facilities will be nicer.

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 18:15

Because of the Hague Convention, there is no hope of me (in Spain) or anyone in the UK/France/Germany etc leaving with any child born in the original country. It would be kidnapping.

Clearly untrue. If you're the only parent with parental responsibility, who are you kidnapping the DCs from, yourself?! If the non-resident parent has parental responsibility I suppose they must give consent, but according to you, if I understand your post correctly, it's still kidnapping even with consent?

I'll go and break it to my children (one adult, the other two entirely fatherless) that they are kidnapping victims every time we pop over to France. ;)

timshelthechoice · 05/10/2019 18:18

FFS, she didn't ask for advice on moving abroad. She has no intention of doing so, hell, she doesn't even want to leave the area.

Charlottejbt · 05/10/2019 18:20

@BillieEilish I forgot to add that I'm sorry for your situation as it sounds like your DCs and yourself are being kept in Spain against your will. I'm fortunate enough to be more of a free agent and I think the OP is too, at least insofar as she is making a positive choice to stay near her soon to be XH rather than being compelled to.

I hope it works out for you.

tenredthings · 05/10/2019 18:45

Great idea , the kids will have lots of outside playing plus lots of other kids in the holidays.

BillieEilish · 05/10/2019 19:17

Charlotte, thanks, I'm fine and don't really want to move my DD away from her father. But it is totally true. Father of that country and Dc born there, you will be charged with kidnapping unless a court order is put in place and permission for you to leave.

Actually, you even, in theory, need permission to go on holiday. I have been asked for it (documentation) going to the states and Morocco.

Obviously if you are the only parent this does not apply Hmm that is fairly obvious.

I wouldn't make it up, many on mumsnet are in this position.

Anyway, we are derailing the thread...!