AIBU to send an email?

[Perhapsnotimmediately]

Hi all. Having a bit of a panic as to what to do and perhaps a side helping of paranoia? Just could have sworn that I heard a lady in dc’s gymnastics class tell dc’s instructor that I don’t like her!
Back story: Had an argument with this woman who works as admin due to her unbelievable rudeness and from then on refused to go through her for anything. Fast forward and dc is having a lesson with an instructor whom I adore but could have sworn the admin said something to her about me. The woman came in to watch dc’s session and the instructor loudly exclaims after an exchange of words ‘I don’t understand why she doesn’t like you. I don’t get it...’ then the rest of it I totally missed as they moved further away. AIB totally U to assume she said something about me to instructor? Who else could she have been discussing for instructor to exclaim that particular comment? May sound bat shit right now and tell me if I do! But then also felt the instructor was a little more abrupt with dc after this. Want to send email to management to say I think this has happened because I’m now panicking that if they both have had this discussion it’s, firstly, highly inappropriate but also don’t want it negatively impacting dc!!! Help!!!

men often assert themselves and feel emboldened to be forthright with those that are being rude/abrupt with them yet are not called argumentative or difficult. Why do women have to bend over backwards to keep the peace with someone who clearly has an attitude problem or is downright rude?

Tbh, I think this is a pile of rubbish. If a man got in an argument with someone at their childs hobby, then refused to engage with the person they argued with, then jumped to conclusions after half listening into this persons converstations, they would be called difficult. And told that they were looking for an argument.

I think that if you are willing to stand your ground so firmly that you refuse to deal with one member of staff, it is inevitable that other staff already know this. They will have already made a judgement on your behaviour either positive or negative. If you take strong actions you have to be thick skinned and not care what anyone thinks.

From what you posted they could have been talking about anyone and the coach didn't actually say anything negative.

It all sounds like a lot of drama about nothing.

The bottom line is you don't know she was discussing you, so you'd look batshit to send an email and make the situation worse, as I can assure you they would all be discussing you then,

However you don't like the woman, you refuse to deal with her, so I think you have to expect they will discuss this. Work colleagues do.

Forget it and see how instructor is next week though be mindful not to actively look for signs that support your belief about the instructor. For example, she doesn't immediately respond if you call and wave- she hates me, admin did gossip- when it could be 'she's busy and didn't see.

Even if she did say to the instructor you don't know the context. Instructor could have thought you were glaring rather than looking or asked admin to liase with you on something which she declined. In which case saying you dont like her (which you don't) is fair enough.

Who else could she have been discussing for instructor to exclaim that particular comment?
I’ve been racking my brain considering whether it could easily have been a discussion about someone else

I don't understand why you even think you would know who they were discussing. It could have been about literally anyone - their boss, another staff member, someone they both know outside work. If this woman is rude, she may well have a number of people who don't like her.

Do not send an email! However at the start of your DC next session with the instructor mention to the instructor how much your DC enjoys her teaching and how you love seeing how much progress she’s made with the instructor then slip in that you’re wondering if there is anything specific that your DC could do at home to help, different stretches etc as you noticed that DC and the instructor seemed a little more frustrated at the end of the last session. It would be enough to make her evaluate how she behaves with your DC and praising her enough for her to see what a good relationship you currently have even if there are other staff members you do not have a good relationship with.