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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To only feed my child sausage and mash

60 replies

Talulahbeige · 03/10/2019 20:45

Me and my husband love food
We have a 6 year old who eats like a 1 year old, always has.
(I blame baby led weaning but that’s another thread!)
4 mouthfuls and she’s full, but will eat her body weight in cake, ice cream etc if I let her, I don’t! )

DD has always been picky, she’s very much a meat and potato type of girl. If you ask her what she wants for tea it’s either sausage & mash or pizza.
She would eat gravy like soup but won’t touch anything in a sauce.
Tonight I made hunters chicken, chicken, bacon, tomato, cheese, all things she will eat in their basic state. She wouldn’t eat anything.

I’m at my wits end, I personally can’t eat sausage and mash (or similar) for ever. I’ll happily give it to my dd every day (to prove a point that it gets bloody boring)

HELP please!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Purpleartichoke · 03/10/2019 20:51

You will get a bunch of responses telling you to just make what you want and she doesn’t other eats or not.

I’m going to give you the perspective of a parent to a child who got diagnosed with ASD at age 10. There may be real underlying sensory issues with your child. If so, taking a hard line will not help.

We have to be very patient with dd. She occasionally asks to try something new and we make it happen. She asks for some wacky things and we have been very surprised sometimes when she actually ends up liking things.

So my recommendation is to keep offering alternatives, but make sure there is always safe food available too.

EmmiJay · 03/10/2019 20:53

My sister went through a phase like that. Bread and beans for two years straight. Drove my mum potty! However she did grow out of it. My DD is a meat and potato kid also. She loves her shepherds pie to no end. Have you tried cooking with her so she sees whats going in to different meals? Let her maybe nibble the ingredients? DD wouldn't touch west indian soup until she watched my mum cooking it and decided to give it a go.

RumpoleoftheBaileys · 03/10/2019 21:04

Any chance you could hide veg in the mash? How about mixing up the sausages for chicken ones or quorn/soy?

Original poster

Talulahbeige · 03/10/2019 21:18

We’ve done the “eat what I put in front of you, there’s nothing else” she just doesn’t eat. She eats so little anyway it just doesn’t bother her.

We are currently waiting on a referral to a paediatrician with a view To dyspraxia, so I do often wonder if it’s to do with that.
She will eat random stuff, loves chilli squid, Bombay bad boy pot noodle but won’t touch home made spicy stuff.
We do always offer a safe alternative, today it was mash and peas but she wouldn’t eat them as they’d been on the same plate.
(Thanks purpleartichoke x)

Her attention span is too short to cook with her, it goes everywhere,

I’m not too bothered about her veg/fruit consumption, she actually eats them quite well , it’s the not eating the meals we want to eat without cooking something separate

OP posts:

Northernsoullover · 03/10/2019 21:24

Will she eat cheese, dairy? If so and she's getting a good variety I'd be inclined to go along with it for a bit and try and broaden it in a few months.

Thenotes · 03/10/2019 21:24

I always thought I wouldn't pander to picky eaters and that was the reason why ds1 was such a good eater. Then I got ds2

In the situation you describe, I'd have given her deconstructed hunters chicken and just shoved her bits in the oven separately.

FizzyIce · 03/10/2019 21:27

I wish someone would make me sausage and mash everyday !
Seriously though, my dd was kind of the same , she know what she’s likes and likes what she knows .
She likes roast dinners, pasta but she has to have the cheese on the side as she doesn’t like it melted although she likes pizza but asks for half the cheese when we go to restaurants so she was a creature of habit but I did find just introducing things a little at a time has really helped and not forced her to eat anything as that just stresses everyone out!
She is 8 now and will eat a lot of different stuff ,even the odd piece of sushi now and again and she is not a fish fan !
I honestly think it’s just little and often with new things and then when they find something new they like then it’s like Christmas for me!

FizzyIce · 03/10/2019 21:28

Sorry , badly written but you get the jist

Knickerbockergloryonthebeach · 03/10/2019 21:32

I had terrible tonsillitis consistently as a child and hated eating most things. I have very very strong memories of my stepmum forcing me to eat peas and brussel sprouts to the point where I would fill my mouth, go to the toilet and spit them out /gag them up. I realise this isn't what you do but to back up that forcing a child to eat something they don't want to stays with them.

If you're waiting a possible diagnosis of dyspraxia then that could definitely be having an effect on how she processes eating. And also if she's concerned about not touching that does sound possibly asd/sensory although I had weird issues with food around smell and texture and grew out of them.

I know your issue is how to cook for everyone without doing different meals, and I don't know. I guess find a way that she eats enough through the day, even if that's not at dinner time, so that you can cook your food without worrying too much about how little she's eating at that point?

IamWaggingBrenda · 03/10/2019 21:57

time.com/5667374/poor-diet-blindness-case-study/

WeDidNotChangeTheLocks · 03/10/2019 21:59

@Talulahbeige Sorry to pick up a different point but I'm doing BLW with my LO. in what way do you think that was to blame for her picky eating?

Original poster

Talulahbeige · 03/10/2019 22:07

Because she was left to eat what she wanted from what was in front of her rather than putting a variety of flavours in her mouth so that she got used to them.
Altho to be fair she chose to eat raw broccoli at 2 when we did the supermarket shop.

OP posts:

Original poster

Talulahbeige · 03/10/2019 22:08

That’s not all she eats ffs!

OP posts:

zxcvhjkl · 03/10/2019 22:13

NHS food psychologist advice was to give what they want, if that's sausage and mash every night for a month go ahead. That was guidance I got for DC who has ASD and SPD.
Slowly introduce new foods on a separate and specific plate, always have safe foods available, no stealth feeding/ hiding food under things/blending foods into other things etc as it had the opposite effect, also if eating with a spoon, hands or whatever is easier then go with that. Just make eating enjoyable, whatever and however that looks like for your DC and then work from there.

Have a look for something called the food tasting ladder when introducing new food or food that hasn't been eaten for a while. DM me if you can't find it, I have a copy I can share.

People will tell you, just give them whatever you want they will eat when they're hungry. No, no they won't. It's more complex than that for children with additional needs.

titchy · 03/10/2019 22:17

I'm confused - you said she only eats sausage and mash or pizza, but then that she eats lots of fruit and veg?

What exactly is the problem?

Mylovelydog · 03/10/2019 22:17

I don't know about this from a psychology point of view but if she likes mash, might she eat carrot, swede and potato mash but mostly potato first of all and perhaps gradually increase the veg if she will still eat it? Adds a bit of variety!

SunMoonRainShine · 03/10/2019 22:20

I'm a bit confused.... You said she basically just wants sausages and mash, but now you say she likes veg and fruit and the ingredients of hunters chicken separately.... That sounds reasonably varied. Can you not just give her a basic/ slightly deconstructed version of what you have? That's what we're trying with our picky eater. We don't 'make' her eat anything (how would you even do that?) But we don't offer alternatives... Because we always make meals based on stuff we already know she has eaten before with some optimistic additions (SO many veg in the gravy!!)

It is basically hell because she just wants to eat her favourite meal of the moment every day, and then endless pudding. Yours sounds similar... So what we do might work?

We also don't talk about food at dinner time so as to not add drama... And try and encourage casual eating.

Original poster

Talulahbeige · 03/10/2019 22:22

Thank you to those who gave sensible advice, its appreciated and makes sense. Xx

She eats foods, individually, by themselves, but won’t eat a meal of foods together.
She will eat anything with gravy but nothing with a tomato sauce (I’ve thought of putting gravy on lasagne!)

OP posts:

SunMoonRainShine · 03/10/2019 22:26

Ps you have my full sympathy it sounds like ours are similar! Minus most veg in my case! Even though me and dp are both varied eaters who love veg. I'm intrigued by what you said about baby leg weening?

SunMoonRainShine · 03/10/2019 22:27

Baby led!

SunMoonRainShine · 03/10/2019 22:28

Gravy on lasagna is actually a good idea... Might try it

titchy · 03/10/2019 22:29

So she'll have broccoli and carrots as a starter, sausage for main, then strawberries for pud?

Can you just deconstruct whatever you're having and put each bit on the plate one by one? Maybe have hers in the middle of the table then you serve up the next item once she's finished what's on her plate. Move to her having several plates of the food, then one of those plates with sections?

LucaFritz · 03/10/2019 22:30

Can you do her the same meals as you but separated ? Id do the hunters chicken but do the chicken and bacon separate and a pot of bbq sauce on the side that way she can have a bit of each and mix as she wants ? My brother was a picky eater growing up and that's what my mum used to do with him and he had those divided plates till he was at least 8 when he suddenly grew out of it

ElizaPancakes · 03/10/2019 22:31

Honestly just make things easy for yourself.

If she’ll eat stuff served up separately then serve it that way. Maybe she’ll get over it, maybe she won’t, but if it’s easily resolved with lots of small plates or bowls then do that and invest in a dishwasher

greensnail · 03/10/2019 22:33

I tend to give my DC a simplified version of what we are eating if it's something they won't eat. So if we were making hunters chicken, one of mine would have just chicken and the other would eat chicken and bacon. Then it is no extra effort for me as they all get cooked at the same time and we all get to eat a similar meal.

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