To only feed my child sausage and mash

[Talulahbeige]

Me and my husband love food
We have a 6 year old who eats like a 1 year old, always has.
(I blame baby led weaning but that’s another thread!)
4 mouthfuls and she’s full, but will eat her body weight in cake, ice cream etc if I let her, I don’t! )

DD has always been picky, she’s very much a meat and potato type of girl. If you ask her what she wants for tea it’s either sausage & mash or pizza.
She would eat gravy like soup but won’t touch anything in a sauce.
Tonight I made hunters chicken, chicken, bacon, tomato, cheese, all things she will eat in their basic state. She wouldn’t eat anything.

I’m at my wits end, I personally can’t eat sausage and mash (or similar) for ever. I’ll happily give it to my dd every day (to prove a point that it gets bloody boring)

HELP please!!!!!!!!

Welcome to my world! DD is also 6, and sounds similar (though a smaller range of veg). We don't usually all eat together anyway (DH gets in too late), so I can absolutely assure you that she will eat an absolutely identical meal every day for months without getting bored - in fact she prefers it as it's safe. And I don't think BLW has much to do with it - we tried everything, but DD just didn't want to wean; she objected violently when I got a spoon near her mouth, and vomited if I actually got it in. So you weren't missing out on much.

I agree with Mylovelydog's tip. I only serve my DC's mash with veg through it. I never serve it plain.

Although since you're not really concerned about her fruit and veg intake that might not make a difference. Although, again, if you're not concerned about her fruit and veg intake I'd say you're winning OP I spend farrrr too much time worrying about how much (or should I say how little) veg my DC eat.

I've had to go through a stage of deconstructing whatever Im making and putting the component parts on my daughters plate. For example, cottage pie - I would keep a bit of the meat back and the mash and put those separately on the plate not touching with a couple of vegetables in a little bowl next to the plate. You can do most meals like this, the hunters chicken I would have put a bit of cooked chicken, a bit of sauce, a bit of cheese all on the plate.

My 6 year old is fussy, but will eat all vegetables and fruits, she likes sardines, salmon, olives, tofu, lentils, chickpeas, kidney beans etc. She is still definitely fussy as she rejects 80% of evening meals. I also say she is a meat and potato kind of person, she loves sausage and mash, corned beef hash and roast dinner. But something is always wrong with everything else. She wants plain everything. Deconstructing everything does work, and I often do this for my fussier toddler, but I resent doing this for my 6 year old. With hindsight, and having a fussier one, keeping them eating a large variety even if it isn't mixed together as a proper meal, is probably more important than not giving in. If they want a seperated plate with plain noodles and uncooked peppers and unmarinated tofu, I suppose it's better than sausage and mash again. Even if they did used to love genuine pad Thai. I'm telling myself this as much as you.

I stopped having the battle honestly. I mostly serve meat and veg or pizza type meals, but with lots of veggies and fruit, and I don't tie myself up in a knot if they eat nothing but nuggets and toast some days. This has made them less fussy if anything, and less scared of trying new things but so long as it's at their pace (not mine!) Or I make two versions, say one lot of plain chicken and one lot with hunters topping. Then they can have the plain or the hunters, and I get to eat the leftovers or save for a speedy meal another day. If they really don't like something, that might leave me eating casserole for days or filling my freezer with it, but I find often that even if the first time they try something they hardly even taste it but by the 2nd or 3rd time they'll try it properly, and after a while even like it.

We are currently waiting on a referral to a paediatrician with a view To dyspraxia, so I do often wonder if it’s to do with that.

That’ll be it. ASC and and Dyspraxia overlap. DC who have that type of food issue will seriously starve in preference to eating the “wrong” textures of combinations of flavours. It’s not stubbornness, it’s extreme aversion to certain things.

Close your ears to the unhelpful advice. Nothing anyone from the neurotypical parenting world says will apply! Welcome to the club

My son is diagnosed with dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder. He's in his late teens and so I've tried everything with food. What I found worked well was small bowls of separate foods - He will eat a bowl of dry salad and a pot of hummus alongside something like a sausage roll or chicken pie. Hope that helps, you are not alone x

My middle child is like this so I just go along with it. I deconstruct whatever meals the rest of us are having and if I know she definitely won't eat it I'll add something to the plate I know she will eat.

We had curry, rice and Naan bread yesterday so I gave her chicken with the sauce washed off, rice, naan and then some grated cheese. She had cheese, bit of Naan and bit of chicken.

So having tried the "eat what is put in front of you or nothing" approach, you have decided it doesn't work for you, fine. In that case the issue seems to be not having to cook separate meals. Why not batch cook things you know she will eat when you have time, like sausage and mash, portion them into "ready meals" and freeze them? Not having the daily annoyance of separate meals might just take the pressure off so it becomes less drama for everyone. Maybe let her put together a grazing plate of stuff she will eat at the weekends when there is more time,

Anothe rone with an ASD child (diagnosed in tees, so we had no idea) who absolutely would have starved rather than try food he didn't want. He pretty much lived on cheese sandwiches, sliced apple and spaghetti hoops with peas and boiled carrots for eight years.

Sausage and mash is at least carb and protein so two of the main food groups. Does she eat any veg at all? If she will eat cake can you make banana bread or carrot cake, or chocolate brownies with almond and soy flour to add extra protein?

If she eats pizza, can you puree tiny amounts of veg into the tonato sauce base and wean her onto them that way? (I did a lot of disguising veg by blending it into other things but in micro proportions at first - adding an extra teaspoon to the mix each time he ate something.

Will she drink smoothies or banana milkshake?

I would strongly recommend against 'hiding' things in other things.

If the issue is textures as well as new flavours, and she does have some sort of ASD, she WILL notice and all you will achieve is reducing her trust in you and the food you offer.

Offer what you know she will eat, don't mix it together, don't offer new stuff on the same plate as 'safe' stuff.

I am nearly 40, I can remember the actual fear and nausea caused when I realised that 'safe' food had been ruined for me by it being contaminated by scary unsafe stuff.

Batch cook stuff so you can offer portions of new things or similar things, on seperate plates, alongside safe meals - and then (and this is what everyone finds almost impossible).... Leave her to get on with it and don't comment, encourage, talk about it... just leave it.

If you can eat with her so she sees you eating food, great, but otherwise... don't meddle, don't hide things in other things, don't encourage or haggle or negotiate and fgs don't starve her into eating things she doesn't currently like.

I’d be really worried about feeding so much processed meat - unless she eats veggie sausages?

I would just do deconstructed meals for her too- as long as she is getting a balance of nutrients, it seems the best way to do things whilst you’re waiting for the referral.

My brother ate anything as a baby but by the time he was four, lived on chips, cheese & sunday dinners with no veg or gravy. He is 47 now & still won't touch veg. I was a picky eater from birth but now will eat nearly everything. They will grow out of it & turning every mealtime in to a battle won't help.

If she eats bits would she eat bits if she could pick and choose from dinner herself? Dbro was really funny with food for a couple of years. Things couldn't be 'wet' or touch each other. So if mum made a roast everything was on the table in separate plates for him to graze and choose. With a curry she would cook up chicken, veg seperate and serve then in bowls (yoghurt pots) for him with an egg cup of sauce in case he wanted to try. While we all had the curry, the mix.

She always did something he liked and would just refuse him a pudding if he refused everything wanting just the pud, including those he liked.

I don’t think you can blame blw as ultimately they still get what you give them and that will just take you down a road of ‘what if’ It seems far more likely there is something else underlying. Must be frustrating for you though.

It doesnt sound too bad tbh!

If it takes putting gravy on everything put gravy on everything!

If she wants things in separate plates give it to her on senate plates.

I dont know any young kids who eat spicy stuff so maybe your expectations are too high.

Meat and 2 veg meals might be bland but they are healthy and balanced for her.

Not sure if this will help in your situation, but have you thought of trying something like this?

www.heart.co.uk/lifestyle/mum-raves-aldi-plate-kid-eat-food-tantrums-bargain/

Following OP! Could have written this myself about my own 6year old DD! Have just bought a book off Amazon called Getting the Little Blighters to Eat. Good advice in there that seems to be working so far. Things like giving her what we are eating, no fuss, no talking about food at the dinner table, no bribery, not letting her have the power to choose what we eat. Give it a go and see how you get on. Its so stressful though isn't it? I dread mealtimes 🙈

I did monkey plates for years in a little plate with separate compartments. Lots of little things, some old favourites but always with new stuff to try. So you could put sausages in one, mash in another and then something new and different . My kids loved those meals the best and still like ‘picnic’ lunches.

You could always try the blindfold game, bit of a faff but could work. Stick a blindfold on her and get her to try a few new things, if she eats them and guesses what they are correctly reward with a treat... She may find something new that she likes. There's also activity plates you can buy but I wonder if at 6 she could be a bit over the novelty of this

If she has sensory issues around food then no amount of want from you to be able to make her eat the same meal you are will work.

My 6 year old dd wont eat dinner unless everything on the plate is completely seperate. She wont eat combined ingredients that she will eat separately. So example stew. She will eat small amounts (as in minuscule) of beef potatoes and carrots but not mixed in together. She eats 3 types of veg so they go with every meal even if its beans on toast I give one of the vegs she will eat on the side.

She also has serious food allergies and has had anaphylaxis so food does hold a fear for her.

So I deconstructe her dinners and they can be completely random and not what I would have considered dinner for my other children but we work with what we can.

I try to put dairy in everything as she is underweight so butter milk or cheese. I make up picking plates.

It is a real worry and I am always thinking about her lack of vitiman intake.

For her its eat as she can or she wont eat at all.

Did your DD have reflux as a baby?

My nearly 3 year old is the same - although obviously much more expected at her age. She can’t do mixed textures - food either has to be wet or solid enough to gnaw on. Interestingly she (and many other super fussy peers of hers) had really bad reflux as a baby. I don’t know if it’s related to the memory of pain with eating; still slightly delayed gastric emptying - she’ll get full very quickly and describes feeling full in her throat; she still has quite a strong gag reflex too.

FWIW I have to offer DD deconstructed meals (mashed potato in one bowl, beans in another, cheese in another...can you guess her safe meal!). She seems to get on better if she feels in control of the consistency herself. I also offer a small plate of what we’re eating - which she never tries but hey ho, maybe one day! The only other thing she’ll eat is pasta and sauce, so I make homemade sauce which is basically carrots, peppers and spinach blended into a tin of tomatoes. Again served in separate bowls.

You have my sympathies. I try to keep it light and non-confrontational at mealtimes (having awful memories of being force-fed as a child), but inwardly I’m screaming in frustration. I have no idea how nuts it’ll drive me if she’s still doing it at 6!

@AsMuchUseAsAMarzipanDildo my dd had very severe reflux and bowel problems as a baby. She screamed pretty much solid for 14 months!

My DS has reflux as a baby and is dyspraxic. He is now almost 15 and can still be picky although lunches at school have helped because there is little choice.

I'd go with what she wants. Get good quality sausages from butcher, try adding protein to pizza. Offer individual food stuffs. Don't make blended foods as it sounds like a sensory issue.