To not want my sister to visit for the festive season

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

If anybody remembers, I'm the one whose sister hasn't told our DF about the birth of her DS.

So today my sister asks over WhatsApp if she can come for the December school holidays, she'd be staying in a hotel.

I have many reasons why I'm not happy about it.

1- lying to our DF
2- I'm a practicting Jew whereas she's more of the secular type. I don't really celebrate Christmas but she does.
3- it's our first season as a new family with our first baby, even if I don't celebrate Christmas I want to stay at home, bake cookies, etc... be festive with my little new family
4- she's too high conflict and I just want peace (see point 1)
5- we would have just moved to our new home and again just want to enjoy the time with our baby, the new home and my DH.

Are these good enough reasons?

Yes

Definitely

See everything you've written up there ^?
Send that by Whatsapp.

I agree

Yes agree.

You don't need reasons. You don't have to prove your case. But yes, they are quite good enough if she wants to know why she can't come.

Wow, I remember you were going to host a big NYE get-together weren’t you?!

Say no and enjoy this time with your DH and baby.

100% not unreasonable

“Sis, we’re having the time over Christmas to ourselves so won’t be hosting anyone, you’ll have to arrange something else”

Yep

Are these good enough reasons?

For you, for her, or for us? Because the answer will be different.

@Herocomplex yes that was my original plan until my sister and DM called asking if I had told my DF about her baby. DH then went on about being a logistical nightmare for his side, so we let it be. (He's also the type that won't say no unless you push him to be 100% honest).

Yup. "Hey sis, sorry, we'll only just be in our new home and we want a quiet time just the three of us to recuperate."

I guess for her mostly. I know I'll get a "you're playing the victim yet again" lecture. That or "you're putting your DH before your own blood". I can't handle that conflict I just want to live in peace.

you're putting your DH before your own blood

Yet she hasn't even told her blood about her baby?

Yes, you're putting your DH and baby before your sister. Fairly logical, I would have thought. Especially when your sister is such a resounding, complicating, annoying pain in the arse.

I know! But according to my DM and her what my DF did is "unforgivable".

I have to agree to disagree on that one with her, her life her choices. Unfortunately she's not type that will live and let live.

She can stay in a hotel if she wants. Doesn't mean you have to host her while she's in the area. Just text her simply saying that it won't suit you to have visitors during the holidays. You don't need to go into details as to why. If she pushes for reasons just say you are planning a quiet few days and won't be hosting at all.

Jeez, OP.

I gave up spending any time at all with my sister years ago.

Just say No.

Believe me I'm very happy we don't live in the same country. Sad but true. I feel bad for our babies, but sometimes it's ok to accept siblings don't get along.

Do DONT do the conflict

“Sis, the answer - whatever vile insults you come up with - is NO”

It's definitely okay for siblings not to get along. At any given time, a maximum of three out of the four sisters in my family are talking. Currently it's down to two. . .

Yet she hasn't even told her blood about her baby?

Exactly what @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz said, precisely!

Keep your festive season quiet would be my rec, your family are DRAMA. 🙂

I struggled to MIL on xmas day, with a two week old baby, it was not a good day, finished up with a midwife visit the next day. They were not a drama ridden family, but it was still too much. Stay home and lock the door is my advice.