My ex is a psycho

[SkinnyEx]

AIBU to point out that this is a Red Flag?

If only I had considered that there might have been a reason why he said that his ex was a psycho. He's probably saying it about me.

To the skinny new girlfriend, he will lovebomb you, then he'll start to fatshame you, he'll criticise you, verbally abuse you, emotionally abuse you, and he'll probably beat you up. Like he did me.

I could tell you, but he'll just say I'm a psycho, and you'll probably believe him. Years down the line you'll realise that your loveable rogue is a violent thug.

Have a look at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3707711-Rosie-Duffield
Thanks.

It will be obvious that it has come from me.
The only way I could do it would be from a 'fake' social media account.
I have deactivated my social media and blocked him on my phone.

I'd leave well alone OP.
Block him out of your life and concentrate on getting better.
Make it a new start.
I've been through something similar. It took a long time but one day life was OK again and I didn't need a man to make me happy.

What happens to her is not your problem. You should have reported it to the police but you probably had reasons for not doing so. Depending on what they would have charged him, it wouldn't necessarily show on Claire's Law.
Don't blame yourself. Look to the future. You are free.

As PP said, Claire's Law. If you reported the attack to the police - and I hope you or A&E did - he can be flagged up as a known abuser.

Then you could alert her or someone close to her to check him out.

I'm so glad you survived and got clean away!

From what I was told, if he'd been charged with Common Assault, it would not be affected by Claire's Law.

If it was someone you had known for a long time socially, would it cross your mind to look them up? I doubt it.

Alerting someone impartial might be an option. A friend of hers who isn't a friend of his?

A thought has crossed my mind. He doesn't have any DC.
He might want some. I feel sick.

OP, leave it all alone. It is not your responsibility, you can't do much about it. He's moved on. Look after yourself.

You are better off without him, however much it hurts.
It won't hurt forever.

Don't think the What If's. They might not happen. They probably won't happen, and even if they did you can't do anything.
Concentrate on what you can do. Get the support you need from those who can give it to you.

Thanks.

I hope that you are feeling ok today SkinnyEx. Been thinking of you. Stay strong.

Nothing can be done.

Warnings will be dismissed.

Abuse will escalate and she may well get hurt. She may end up one of 2 women a week killed by their partner.

Domestic violence will never go away.

All we can be thankful for is that awareness of it is poignantly apparent nowadays,

It will be worse than that - it will be emotional abuse, fatshaming. Invisible. Nobody will believe that he will be guilty.

I so want to warn her but I'll look mad. He left me a total wreck.

You'll only look mad until the same thing happens to her.

A friend of mine left a nasty sort once and on her fb after leaving him she posted something along the lines of 'thankyou to my friends and family who have helped me through such difficult times and for helping me to see that although there truly are monsters in this world, there are awesome people too'.

A few months later she was stopped by this girl in the street who she recognised vaguely and they got chatting and it turns out her ex and been seeing this girl for a little while and as he had started to devalue her by comparing her unfavorably to his ex (my friend), she had checked out my friends profile. She saw that post and started to realise that even though he always made her feel like she didn't measure up to her - he had obviously treated her badly too.

Dunno if that's why they split but let's just say that now two women are both saying the same thing about him, he has developed a reputation in the area for being exactly what he is.

Obviously you have to be careful about social media though, my mates post could have been a risk n made him vengeful but she got away with it. Well,other than the usual 'b*tchrs be crazy' stuff he was saying to mutual aquaintances.

Thanks @Pinkbonbon

Your words are so kind. I feel crap for not having done anything but I can't see what I can do. I hate him for what he did to me.He could have killed me and now I am struggling to stay healthy.

They take such a toll emotionally that it can affect us physically.

I've had various nasty sorts come n go and find the best thing is when I feel the anger welling up - stick some music on and have a dance around. Until I'm exhausted if need be.

Also make sure you are eating well. If you are struggling with that, make something healthy and sit down to a tv series you know you enjoy. Being distracted by it should help you automatically eat (of course, don't do this with the less healthy stuff haha).

Thanks Pinbonbon. I've just eaten lunch and I have enough trouble keeping food down so maybe I'll save the dancing for later.

Haven't got the energy to dance.

Give it time, when the anger phase kicks in you will xD

For now concentrate on looking after yourself x

Ok Skinny, hope you are ok.

Feeling down but probably ok. Thanks.

You ok today?

Thanks for asking. Still down. Still blaming myself for letting him say I was a psycho so long that I almost believed him.
I'm too nice for my own good.

You probably are. Hope you are ok. Take each day at a time.

I am alternating between angry and down today. Any suggestions for music to dance to? No Gloria Gaynor or Dancing Queen please.