To hate it when another woman picks a hair off my clothing

[minesagin37]

It gets me annoyed when I am chatting away to a colleague at work about a work issue and they lean into my space a pick a hair off my cardigan or clothing. I feel like it's intrusive and they just disrupt the conversation. Not everyone does this. It's literally two people I work with. AIBU?

It's very very natural primate behaviour (grooming behaviour, comparable to picking insects from each other or combing fur with fingertips). Its a sign of trust and affection. It doesn't bother me at all.

However you dont have to like it and are free to tell folk not to.

Ywbu to be angry with people for doing something so harmless and natural if youd not told them not to.

YANBU, if it was an insect or something I’d understand but a hair, if someone did this to me at my work I’d be like what.

Ffs people make the most stupid posts about tiny things! It's a bloody hair get over it))

@ahsbackagain try not to be so rude. Why bother posting? Just ignore it if you don't like it or think it's trivial!

It honestly amazes me what some people can feel irritated about. Doesn't it get exhausting? This wouldn't bother me one bit. People have to do far worse to irritate me.

Wow, odd responses. Cavepeople probably whacked other cavepeople who pissed them off with a rock too... and wandered around near naked...doesn't make it socially acceptable now. I'd hate this, so intrusive. YANBU

I have been known to "reflexively" slap those hands away

I get why it could feel intrusive. People are always fixing my collar or zipping up my bag for me. Don’t like that either but I figure it’s the downside of my ‘dragged through a hedge backwards’ chic.

I don’t think there’s a way you can raise this with them that is guaranteed not to cause offence. Not saying that you shouldn’t, mind you.

It’s not necessarily weird to pick a hair off someone’s cardigan but it depends on the relationship. I’d do it to my mum without either of us probably even registering that I’d done it. A couple of colleagues and I would do it to each other because I consider them friends. I wouldn’t do it to someone I didn’t know well or my boss etc. Maybe these women just think the relationship is closer than you feel it is. If you don’t like it then tell them, but be prepared for them to think you are over sensitive and a bit standoffish.

I get it, OP. I think grooming implies a level of intimacy that you don’t necessarily want to feel with colleagues. Sometimes it’s quite a dominant act too, but that depends on the wider context.

I would dislike it too, it's much too intimate. If it's a really smart occasion maybe tell me there's a hair, but don't go touching me. Urgh.

I like it when a colleague helps out in this way. A stranger doing it would be weird, but I get on with my colleagues and I wouldn’t see picking a hair off my jumper as an intrusion.

All this complaining about the most minor social interactions really makes my social anxiety worse....it appears the most innocuous comment or action could have lifelong social repercussions.

I really don't think men over analyse every little thing like this.

It’s a sign of affection. I take it as a compliment so long as they’re not grimacing.

It's a bit irritating. It makes me feel a bit patronised like you're not taking care of yourself. However I always have to mentally stop myself if I'm walking behind someone with their size/brand label sticking out. And don't even get me started on price labels on the bottom of shoes. Maybe I haven't found my people or I'm on the wrong thread. I'll get my 🧥

I find it rude. Invasion of personal space IMO and yes it disrupts the conversation.
Just point it out. Don’t actively groom someone else ffs.

It’s the sort of thing my mum does. She does like to invade personal space by tweaking people in various ways, and by making personal remarks. I think it’s her slightly clumsy way of trying to create intimacy.

I step backwards if I dot want her to touch me.

Sorry I'm a hair remover or label tucker in, it's definitely a sign of affection for me when I do it, but I hadn't considered it being irritating to the person so I will be more conscious of that in the future.

It depends how it's done.

If it's someone you are close to, and the conversation isn't that important, it can be affectionate.

But it can also be a way of undermining someone and distracting from the content of their speech when they are trying to say something difficult.

Secret if I see someone with a label sticking out of the of their top/dress, I gently bring it to their attention. Have had nothing but thanks.

I wouldn’t fret about a hair unit I’d tuck in labels or remove a label etc. I’d say I was doing it.

Would you be equally annoyed if someoneon pointed out to you that you have red lipstick all over your teeth, your cardi inside out, labels sticking out etc? See it as someone caring about you and being a good colleague.

"Would you be equally annoyed if someoneon pointed out to you that you have red lipstick all over your teeth, your cardi inside out, labels sticking out etc? See it as someone caring about you and being a good colleague."

The point is that you shouldn't interrupt someone to do that. You should politely let them finish, respond to what they are saying, and then (at an opportune moment when the conversation is turning) mention it quietly.

Would depend who did it. I didn’t realise it bothered me until a woman I know but not well tucked my son’s label in (back of his neck) the other day. My friend does it all the time to him and I’m fine with that and I guess the other woman has seen her do it. He wasn’t bothered. I just felt it was intrusive.

I get you, OP. It also annoys me when people say “you’ve got a stray hair going across your face”. It’s intrusive and unnecessary- if it’s not bothering me, why does it bother them?