To hate it when another woman picks a hair off my clothing

[minesagin37]

It gets me annoyed when I am chatting away to a colleague at work about a work issue and they lean into my space a pick a hair off my cardigan or clothing. I feel like it's intrusive and they just disrupt the conversation. Not everyone does this. It's literally two people I work with. AIBU?

I hate this too, though it is mostly my partner that does it rather than colleagues.

Mostly I hate it because I absolutely can't stand my back, especially my spine, being touched gently, a firm touch is OK but a light brush makes me squirm.

I get that it's my problem but after 28 sodding years you'd have thought he would have figured out how much I hate it. He 'gets' it in other contexts so why the hair removal thing? People are weird.

I agree, this and when people tuck labels back in. Tell me if I have a label sticking out, but don't put it in for me, I'm not 5. Don't know why but I find it passive aggressive .

The label thing is worse. That's invariably on the spine.

Do NOT touch my goddamn spine!

Hmmm. I’m changing my mind a bit. The only person who usually does it is lovely and I like her very much, plus we only chat rubbish together so she’s not interrupting anything important. I also wouldn’t do someone’s label; I’d only tell them. Last week another lady at work picked a hair off me for the first time in 5 years of working next to each other and I thought “Oh, she’s warmed to me”. Ha ha.

Ah jesus, I hate this. It makes me want to hiss at people and shriek, 'GEROFFME!!!' if they tuck a label in or pick a hair off my jumper. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I did this to a colleague once and immediately felt mortified! In my defence I was just doing it as a hair on my own cardi would drive me mad.

Yanbu loose hairs on people's clothes make me heave 😂

Hmm, I don't think anyone unrelated to me has ever done this. I think I send out pretty serious "don't come anywhere near me" vibes. They'd be wasting their time anyway I have very thick wild hair and I moult like a cat, its hard to see where the mop ends and the strays begin!

Yanbu loose hairs on people's clothes make me heave

How do you feel about the hair on people’s head?

Normally it wouldn't bother me unless I felt this person was doing it deliberately to disrupt the convoy/get into my space. Like a bolshy controlling sort if person using the hair as an excuse to do that. Then yeah,I'd be uncomfortable.

It also implies a certain level of closeness or trying to foist on you a certain level of closeness which I get might be uncomfortable for some. But wouldn't bother me unless I felt they were a toxic sort of person.

I don't mind it off people I know and like. However, from people I don't know it feels like an intrusion and I have been known to physically recoil from other people's touch. Just tell them to back off in future.

"Sorry I'm a hair remover or label tucker in, it's definitely a sign of affection for me when I do it, but I hadn't considered it being irritating to the person so I will be more conscious of that in the future."

Don't second guess yourself. You sound lovely. If you stay on mn long enough you'll realise that everything has the potential to irritate someone.

One lady that did it I quite like and I found it a bit odd but it didn't make me recoil when she did it. The other woman I don't know well at all but she seems to be constantly making underhand comments about people and when she did it I just felt really irritated. About 2 minutes before that she had leaned over when someone else was talking and straightened their staff badge. The woman then had her conversation disrupted and it clearly made her feel unsettled. Quite odd behaviour!

YABU

I hate it. I'd rather an insect or something is politely and discreetly pointed out. It freaks me out when people do this as it invades mu privacy, is infantilising and disrespectful because to me it means you arent listening to me and instead focus on how i look and any perceived imperfections, scrutinising my look than what im saying. So annoying. The ones that have done this to me tend to be very lacking in boundaries and social cues, get overfamiliar too quickly.

I dont get how someone with social anxiety finds it normal to pick lint or hair off work colleagues and see it as no big deal?! You're touching their body. Its weird.

I would strongly object to a colleague sticking their tongue in my ear, now that I would find intrusive. This not so much.

People always fix my work top as the collar is always dodgy. Makes me feel scruffy tbh

For some weird reason I quite like it when people do this (although obvs wouldn’t like it to be incessant!) But if you don’t, try to tell them, straightforwardly if you can or perhaps by flinching / moving away when they go to touch you, so the message is there.

Ffs people make the most stupid posts about tiny things! It's a bloody hair get over it))

Was just about to say the same. It’s getting to the point where shit like

“ I got up and made a cup of tea and went back to bed, I was going to have a coffee but we had none left, DH should have picked some up some from the shop on his way home from work, but forgot!!!!! AIBU to be annoyed “

OP do you witter on at work too? Maybe your colleague loses concentration —the will to live— and she doesn’t even realises she’s doing it.

For crying out loud. Buy a bloody mirror. Look at yourself before you leave the house. Make any necessary alterations to your appearance. Go to work.

I dislike it but it rarely happens. When it does it feels intrusive. If I have a label obviously sticking out I'd like someone to mention it so I can tuck it in. Leave stray hairs alone. Mention it if it's a formal occasion but otherwise ignore them. Do men pick hairs etc off each other? Shorter hair so probably less of a problem but I think men invade each others personal space less.

" think men invade each others personal space less."

I don't think that's necessarily true. Not in my experience anyway. They might not remove a stray hair but ruffling hair, clapping each other on the back, patting someone's stomach if they've put weight on.

I haven't got any axe to grind because I wouldn't even notice a stray hair and, if I did, I wouldn't give a shit that you had one on you. But I do tend to think that those people are trying to be nice. Not judgy, not mean-spirited, not trying to highlight your failings or criticise your appearance or invade your personal space. They just notice, and think you'd like it removed, because they would if it was them maybe. I don't understand, at all, why people are so willing to assume the worst possible motives in other people.

If anyone sees a stray hair on me, or a label sticking out, or a drip of snot on my nose, or my skirt tucked into my tights, or an item of clothing that's inside out, then please just sort it out or tell me, I'll thank you for it.

I dislike that and also tucking in labels. I don’t like people I’m not close to touching me even if in an affectionate way. Sorry if that makes me uptight!

I wonder if they’d do it to a man?

You would really want someone wiping your nose for you? Telling me my nose looks snotty or I have a smudge on my face/ hairs on my top/ a label sticking out is one thing, treating me like a small child and wiping my face/ tucking me in/ prodding at my clothing is another. Treat me respectfully as an equal adult please. I am not your child

What about if a man does it?