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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to expect a response by now?

42 replies

KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 14:52

I have been made redundant whilst on maternity leave which has been its own nightmare but I thought I found a great job!
I have had a 30 minute phone interview, half hour test, hour face to face then a further one hour face to face where I was told it was just me and another candidate who I crossed paths with as I left last Tuesday and since no further contact from the company.
I emailed hr on Wednesday fao interviewers for an update, no response. I called Friday afternoon and was told they would come back Monday or Tuesday, no response! I am holding a nursery place on this and fair enough I am being chased to confirm!
I’ve never experienced this before - you normally get a response one way or the other!
Aibu to expect a response one way or another within a week of a third interview?
I should add this is a maternity cover position who went on leave in august and they said they needed a quick start.
Anyone else been through this?? I’m just so frustrated! I have made so much effort for this and would appreciate a response.

OP posts:
eosmum · 02/10/2019 14:53

They’ve offered it to the other candidate and waiting on them to confirm I’d say.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 14:59

I think that but it’s been over a week - how long to decide?

OP posts:
Justherefortheparkingthread · 02/10/2019 15:01

They’re negotiating with the other candidate and won’t let you know until they’ve definitely accepted / rejected the offer.

Been there a few times.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:04

So frustrating! I had another job offer (advertised as job share) asked about job share and they withdrew the offer. Feel like I’m in no mans land!

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CripsSandwiches · 02/10/2019 15:06

As PP said they offered it to the other candidate and are waiting until they've accepted and finalised arrangements before they tell you no. Fingers crossed other candidate turns them down.

Butteflyone1 · 02/10/2019 15:07

Whilst I understand your frustration with having to wait, I think YABU. They have a business to run and with the greatest respect, you are most likely down the chain of importance.

Let them make their decision and get back to you. Delays can happen for various reasons and if you come across as too pushy this may work against you.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:10

Totally get the not be pushy - but when I went to the third interview they said they were disappointed not to hear from me and were worried I’d taken another job.
I get I’m not that important but it is important to me.
What will be will be - still frustrating though!

OP posts:
Rivkka · 02/10/2019 15:10

How annoying, no point chasing as they sip me in touch when they know what's happening.

Jaxhog · 02/10/2019 15:29

It's disgraceful how often companies don't let failed candidates know. But I would assume this, unfortunately. You'll probably now only hear if the other candidate declines their offer.

@butterflyone1, businesses may be busy, but you don't promise a response by a certain date, then don't do it. This is unprofessional. I've done a lot of recruitment in my time and would consider this very bad practice.

whitershadeofpale · 02/10/2019 15:32

I’ve been waiting for nearly a month after my third interview (I did a written test too) I’m going through an agency and they are insisting no one else has been offered the role, it’s just that one of the partners I met with has been too busy to give feedback 😫

WhatTiggersDoBest · 02/10/2019 15:35

I'd keep looking for other roles as it doesn't sound like you've got this one. Every time I've been fobbed off like this (3 or 4 times) it's because I didn't get the job.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:39

Thanks for all the feedback - I’m sure I don’t have the job as they would have contacted by now And normally I would chalk it up to experience but I have a nursery place on hold which I would need so can’t just blooming forget about it!
I’ve done a lot of recruitment and never left anyone waiting this long. I don’t see why after a certain time they can’t just say you’re first reserve rather than nothing - at least I’d know! :)

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 02/10/2019 15:42

But even knowing you are first reserve wouldn't really help you with the nursery place situation?

It is crap though and I'd be very frustrated.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:43

Fair point!!

OP posts:
Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:44

Well I’d take first reserve as no!

OP posts:
incognito76 · 02/10/2019 15:44

When I recruit someone, our complicated recruitment processes mean the interviewers have to find time to get together afterwards to discuss and score the candidates and mark their tests, then get approval from our head of department to offer the salary we want to offer them, then notify HR, submit the scores and get their approval, and then deal with any questions HR might have before the formal offer is prepared and the candidates are notified.

All these things can be delayed by someone in the chain being on sick leave or very busy or on holiday and it can take several days sometimes if people aren't available (or just aren't on the ball - our HR department aren't great).

So as others have said, while it is possible they have offered it to the other candidate and are waiting for them to accept/decline before they get back to you, there are many other reasons why it's not always possible to let someone know straight away. I waited about 10 days before I got the offer from my previous employer, so I do sympathise.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 02/10/2019 15:46

when I went to the third interview they said they were disappointed not to hear from me

This might be a clue. Had they sent you an email which you hadn’t received (and therefore hadn’t replied to)? Have they definitely got the current contact details for you?

I think you could contact HR again now.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 02/10/2019 15:46

Correct, not current

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:47

@incognito76 I guess I’m hanging onto this as it does seem like that and they took a while longer to organise the 2nd interview - but think it’s just a bit of false hope.
I know they are really busy - but being on maternity leave gives me nothing but time to stew! And also feel guilty if I do go back and guilty if I don’t!

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Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:49

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo I called hr and spoke to them on Friday and received all other emails and texts.
It probably has been offered to the other candidate but without a definitive no I can’t let it go! I’m swirling!!! 🤣

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Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 15:50

TBH I’ve enjoyed having a whinge about it! Now to stop obsessively checking my phone.

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HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 02/10/2019 15:53

Oh I know that swirling feeling! I had an interview recently on a Wednesday, and swirled like a dervish until I finally heard (on Thursday of the following week) that I hadn’t got it.

I spent the week reading articles like, “15 signs your interview went well” and “8 no-fail signs that you sucked at your latest interview and will never get another job ever”.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 16:03

Ha ha that’s me!
I feel like it’s waiting to be dumped!!!

OP posts:
glitterlamp · 02/10/2019 16:16

Normally I'd say a week isn't too long to wait but when it's just two to choose from it does seem a long time.

Hopefully they confirm either way ASAP. I was invited to an interview, although it wasn't really an interview, more just confirming availability, I didn't hear back at all which I found really rude. Even an email saying no would suffice! I had another job offer pending which I was putting off accepting whilst I was waiting to hear back from this other company.

Original poster
KittyMcTitty · 02/10/2019 16:22

I wouldn’t normally think it was long but as you say only two candidates and a maternity cover which will practically be over at this rate!
I’ll gave to give them another call on Friday before I contact nursery. What a cringe fest!

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