DS and giving a shit

[coffecupempty]

I'm feeling a little hurt. It's my 40th bday coming up and DS1 22 has asked my to send him ideas. My thought was a nice bracelet keepsake something a bit special that my children have bought me. I've sent him some ideas. Between £100-£135 he could ask his brother (DS2 19) to go halves, chip in. They both work - DS1 has two jobs, this is the thing that hurts, he gambles, he brags about his winnings and is honest with his losses. He gambles more than £150 a month. He has also went on a spending spree yesterday and must of spent over £400 on clothes, which is fine his money can do what he wants. I don't begrudge that at all. Now he says I've picked things that are way too expensive, and he hasn't got any money. He new my bday was coming up he also thinks it's a special bday.

He still lives at home, I cook his meals etc he begrudgingly pays me £100 rent. I hate him gambling and I've expressed my concerns.

AIBU to feel a little hurt ?

Seeing as they spent this amount on their dad, it was a fair assumption to make. I think you should be honest with him and say you’re disappointed his gambling £150 a month is more important that spending £50 on your milestone birthday. Then continue you realise that you should also be prioritising yourself. Therefore you’ve decided to up his rent to x amount so that he pays you what it really costs for him to live at home.

Ah, don’t have expectations and you won’t be disappointed! I buy what I like, tell my kids I’d rather they spent their money in themselves. So, if anything actually happens I’m delighted.

The husband is just told what I’ve got and thanked :)

Years of feeling bitter has taught me this! Way happier

My jaw is dropping at your demand. You only give your young kids one choice, and if they don't get it for you, then you're angry at them. Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun. And to top it all off, it's a "special keepsake" you want. Why would you want a "special keepsake" of two children for whom you obviously have such contempt?

Wow a lot of mixed responses. Thanks for replying and those who are supportive.
I know he gambles with his surplus money he has left a month. If he was to move out then he wouldn't be able to afford to do this and would stop. I don't want to stop his fun or anything or doing what he wants with his own money. But if it is going become an issue and it's not fun anymore than yes that needs to stop.
It wasn't about the money, it was just ideas, out the norm and I've said if that's too expensive then that's fine. He certainly doesn't feel he has to buy me it.

Yes makesmiling I'm more hurt with his whole lack of consideration and attitude with asking me ideas to me that's him not really thinking about it.

I will up his rent and talk to him more about his gambling. I will take them comments on board.

Durgasarrow I find your comment quite hurtful. I haven't expressed the keepsake thing to them. And I've certainly not 'demanded or 'angry' at them at all. To say I have 'contempt' for my children is really hurtful.

I'll leave it now, I've said not to worry about getting me anything if you can't afford it. Wouldn't want him to spend his last pennies on me or get himself debt definitely not.

I'll look forward to turning 40 I guess