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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have lost it with DP over this?

63 replies

Bearintheknow · 01/10/2019 20:30

Been for a run tonight and it’s bloody freezing.
I’ve come back and went to take a shower, boiler has packed in (again) - third time since early September. We’re renting atm, landlord comes over and tinkers with it to get it running...until it breaks again...and basically refuses to accept that we just need a new one.
So, I called landlord, no reply.
DP then suggests I just take a cold shower. It’s been tipping it down here so I’m already freezing and wet.
I try and psych myself up for it but couldn’t do it.
I then ask DP if we can go to the local pool to shower, I don’t particularly want to go alone (can’t say why as it’s outing) and ask him to come. He basically has refused and said it’s really inconvenient for him.
It’s alright for him, he doesn’t shower here since his job is in sport so he showers at work.
So I lost it and said he doesn’t care about my well-being, all the while he’s just sitting on the sofa saying he won’t entertain this argument and looks through me and watches the football...I’m standing there shivering.
AIBU to have wanted some sympathy and maybe an attempt at him helping?

OP posts:

notangelinajolie · 01/10/2019 21:49

We were without a boiler for a few weeks when we were having building work done but a bath with a couple of inches of cold water topped up with half a dozen kettles of boiling water was fine as a temporary fix.

Hope you get your boiler fixed soon - it's not nice being cold.

JemSynergy · 01/10/2019 22:26

Boil some saucepans of water and a kettle and fill the bath up halfway at least. Not the end of the world.

glitterfarts · 01/10/2019 22:43

I don't see how the boiler would pass the gas safety certificate. Do you have one?

badgermushrooms · 01/10/2019 22:51

Bit of a long shot but when the landlord tinkers with the boiler he's not just repressurising it, is he? If so you can probably get him to show you how to do it yourselves. We had to do this very regularly in a previous rented shithole and while frustrating it was about a billion times better than trying to contact our (non local) landlord, waiting for him to get around to ringing his plumber, waiting for the plumber to find the time to stop by, etc etc.

(I would have had an unreasonable rant too by the way. I've got no perspective when I'm tired and cold. )

Justaboy · 01/10/2019 23:18

In our rented houses the water is heated by the Gas boiler BUT there is also an immersion heater to act as a backup in case the boiler gives up.

As well as a half a dozen electric fires if the hearting is affected / is screwed to .

Perhaps we mollycoddle our customers!.

TheTeenageYears · 01/10/2019 23:39

Unless the LL is a qualified gas engineer he shouldn’t be tinkering with the boiler, it’s illegal.

Lilymossflower · 02/10/2019 01:24

Tbh I disagree with most of the other posters here

Her was being a dick I think.

Whyisshedoingit · 02/10/2019 01:55

I'm guessing you're famous so can't go alone or DP is?

1forAll74 · 02/10/2019 02:50

Well , my boiler has been broken for a while, and someone is finally going to replace the boiler next Tuesday.So in the meantime,I am having to boil a kettle when I need to have some hot water for all things. Also my toilet flush thing has broken,not just the handle, but something in the cistern.
A neighbour said I could go round to hers, for a bath or shower, but not inclined to do this !

Hope your boiler gets fixed soon !

MrsTeaspoon · 02/10/2019 03:21

It does seem over-dramatic. Kettle and strip wash isn’t rocket science. Him behaving bombastically and blanking is unpleasant but I’d have said I didn’t want to go out if my husband had said what you did too..I would have said it nicely though and reminded you of kettle and strip wash. There really didn’t need to be any angst whatsoever. Maybe try talking to him about the shutting-you-Down at a calm moment.

justheretostalk · 02/10/2019 04:05

Some people on here are such dicks honestly.

Even without the OP’s extra information it was kind of obvious that she didn’t feel comfortable going to a certain place alone, possibly where some sort of sexual assault, or something else that made her feel vulnerable happened.

Why are you all continuing to pester her to disclose what it was? Can’t you just take a post on face value and accept she did not want to go alone?!

Fuck me dead.

minesagin37 · 02/10/2019 04:28

Don't beat yourself up op. The landlord needs to fix your boiler. I too would be in a stressed state without a nice hot shower.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 02/10/2019 05:33

I think you need to point out to your landlord that it’s actually illegal to “tinker” with the boiler, unless he’s a Gas Safe registered (Corgi) engineer...

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