To be completely confused about milk/food/weaning for 9 month old?

[bananallamas]

DD has recently really gone off milk - she's mixed fed and is not at all keen on taking a bottle anymore so I've been trying to make sure she eats well and gets plenty of calcium from natural yoghurt etc. Her weight is fine, tracking her centile.

Some days she only has about 18oz across the day (plus one BF at night). Some things I read such as the Ella's kitchen weaning book say this is fine, but they should be eating a fair bit by this age. Some people even say that their babies had dropped most milk feeds by 9-10 months. But then BF and BLW advocates seem to come along and say that until 1 babies should get almost all their nutrition from milk, and food is "just for fun" and not to worry about quantities or balanced diet. I read somewhere else that they should have 24-32oz of milk day at this age so DD is nowhere near.

Similarly, I thought baby pouches/jars were ok and have been using them quite a lot (they're all organic, no added sugar or salt etc etc) as well as offering some finger foods. But I've just read another thread where everyone seems to be saying how terrible they are and how 9 month olds should be having "real foods" and suggesting lunches like sandwiches, omelettes, soup. People keep saying "they can just have what you're having" but we eat stuff like Thai curry, risotto, chilli and stuff that is all either spicy or not really very baby friendly. The thought of cooking special meals for a 9 month old who will throw most of it on the floor makes me want to weep.

So - what the hell am I meant to be doing? More milk? Less food? No pouches? BLW? And why is this so complicated?!?!

Right there with you! Also with a 9 month old, rapidly dropping milk feeds. On the food front, she does eat a lot of what we have. That stood out from your post because we eat similar but it's not too hard to adapt. I just stirred some creme fraiche into chilli yesterday, mixed in the rice and she shovelled it in herself. No idea if we've got the balance right though! I wish I knew.

All the things you listed as what you eat are fine. Babies tend to like strong flavours so as long as you watch the salt content you can go ahead. Risotto is a particular favourite still with my 3 and 1 year olds.

Not sure about milk amounts. Mine were on 4 breastfeeds a day at 9 months but I don't know how much that would have been in oz.

Her milk intake sounds fine. Food wise honestly just give her what you are having, my babies ate chilli, curry etc and are all good eaters now as children, if you have it very spicy then take her portion out before adding extra spice for yourselves.

Mine (11 months) is breastfed on demand, has about 8-12oz formula in a day, and still has pouches in the evenings. I know what you mean - "have what you're having" tonight would have meant giving him part of my katsu curry ready meal as DH is away. Fine if it's cottage pie or something! I think he was far better off with his Ella's Kitchen fish pie. Mine does now eat sandwiches but didn't at 9 months, plus it takes forever so I don't normally take one on a day out! I say go with your gut.

The thing with jars and pouches is....you'll have to swap to normal food you cook at some point anyway. You may as well do it straight away as the baby is more likely to be used to it and eat it move forward. Children eat anything in theory (watch the salt).

All children are different in how they get there but you eventually want a toddler who eats everything you eat as a family and drinks water / milk from an open cup - how you get there is irrelevant!

Its around 20oz for babies between 6 and 12 months. Food wise you sound fine

The dietician told me that when established on solids (so eating 3 meals a day) then 15-20oz milk is fine. If below 15oz then supplement with vitamins - we use abidec. Main thing is that she looks well and is tracking her percentile which you say she is so I would just go with her flow. Offer her what you are having , give her some pouches and it's all good. There are a thousand ways to parent - I try and follow the middle road ie a bit of everything.

Mine is 9 months. She's breastfed so I have no idea how many ozs she has each day and find the milk issue confusing. I do use pouches on occasions, they're handy, but it's quite easy to make her something very similar to what I have and give it to her (usually the next day as she wants dinner at 4.30ish and I don't). She has quite a lot of foods with strong flavours, especially lentil curries. If I'm making a curry I set up another small pan and cook hers alongside mine just reducing the amount of spices and not adding any salt. There will usually be enough for 2/3 portions for her so I can freeze a couple so don't have to do this all the time (mine loves chilli con carne)

Also with curries you can add more yoghurt/cream/coconut milk to her portion to make it milder

My son was on 2 bottles, one morning, one night at 9 months and I think by 11 months had dropped both. It was totally led by him. It’s slightly different advice in Scotland and I was told at 8 months to drop his feeds to 2 bottles a day and he would get nutrition from food!

I was led by him and certainly wouldn’t worry if he dropped bottles at 9 months just give yogurt, cheese etc for calcium

Thanks everyone, I probably should start cooking for her more but I still feel like it would require a lot of effort though, we add spices/salt etc at the start of cooking (eg our risotto had stock right at the beginning) so would need to cook a completely separate portion for her.

Maybe it just all feels like a lot of work at the moment... still washing and sterilising bottles every day, expressing milk 3 times a day (that's a different thread!), BF at night, plus cooking meals that she may or may not eat. Some days she seems to eat loads and other days next to nothing! I haven't been giving her vitamins but maybe I should.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/solid-foods-weaning/

Should take supplements if formula drops below 500mls per day

Mine is 10 months and goes through phases of eating more or less. She is still breastfed, though dropped most daytime feeds now except when fussing or teething, like this week! We have tea at 5 and then a high calorie snack before bed to help with sleep. I've found cooking a variety of things and freezing them into ice cubes that can be pick and mixed and defrosted into a variety of meals is the easiest as it's one day of cooking for weeks of meals. Pouches every day must cost a fortune!

At that age my dgs had 3 bottles a day, first thing, early afternoon and bedtime. He had 'proper food at meal times. I would make batches of things like fish pie, chicken casserole, macaroni or cauliflower cheese, all made with fresh ingredients and no salt, sugar, or spice. I then portioned it up and froze it. He would also have scrambled egg with grated cheese. He's a year old now and eats the same as his parents mostly. Today he had cheese and crackers, sliced apple and grapes for lunch with a banana smoothie. For tea he had chicken, carrots, peas and sweet potato and a tangerine. He has cows milk now morning and evening.

If bf then I think vitamins are recommended regardless of amount

Our HV said to give vitamins at the 9 month check, which I do kind of sporadically when I remember, but think she is getting most from her food.

She can eat all the meals you make, just don't add the salt. Nothing wrong with spice, again just build her up. Make it less spicy to start with and see how she gets on.

When we make chilli etc, i cook it all, portion off hers then add the final spice for the last 10mins of cooking.

Its easy but you have to adjust which you don't seem to want to do.

My first baby I was like you. Stressed about it all. This second one has more or less brought himself up and he’s the most contented happy sleeping baby lol.
So at 9 month he was about this...
7 ozbottle 6 am
Chocolate milky bar yogurt 8 am
7 oz bottle 11 am
Nap
Dinner 12.30 (always a baby jar or pouch.never could be bothered making fresh. ) something like Shepard’s pie
Bottle 7 oz 3 pm
Tea 5 pm another jar lol.
7 pm bed time bottle 7 oz .
Not by the book diet but it worked a treat for us and he’s the picture of health and happy as Larry

Mine gave up with milk soon after this age, she breastfed morning and night until 12 months then stopped that and refuses milk now, so I make sure she eats plenty of natural yoghurt and cheese.

Pouches are fine, the ingredient list is very similar to home cooked, there's no crap in them! I have a Annabel karmel green freezer thing with portions in it (like a large I've cube tray), and batch cook for DD, shepherds pie/curry/homemade baked beans etc, then I can just defrost what she'll eat (4 squares at 18 months), as we tend to eat stuff that's not suitable for her (using stock etc with too much salt in, tried baby stock and wasn't great for us!)

Try not to worry, you're doing fine!

I think there's probably so much conflicting advice because it all works fine. Mine was eating 3 meals a day at that age - porridge or weetabix (always finished that!), something for lunch - sometimes a jar/ pouch, sometimes bits of whatever I was having, sandwich, leftovers, omlette etc (amount she actually ate / threw on floor varied wildly) and tea which again was a pouch or jar, or a (sometimes modified) version of what I was having. Roughly 6oz of formula after each meal (again wasn't unusual for her not to even come close to finishing this) and a breastfeed first thing in morning / last thing at night (sometimes with an extra breastfeed in the day as it was often the only way I could get her to nap!).

Spoonfed breakfast and the pre made stuff and gave her everything else as finger food so she'd sometimes eat loads one day and not much the next but end up having more milk. Don't worry about it too much, I really do think they sort themselves out pretty well if you offer a good variety. I always thought the jars etc tasted pretty much the same as if you cooked the same stuff at home too so I'd be surprised if it put them off "real food".

DS is nine months he eats things like stir-fry veg with noodles or rice and chilli (really loves chilli), sweet potato curry with coconut milk etc when I make ours I make a lot of spicy food, so I just have a little saucepan next to the main one and most ingredients are the same, but I don't add things like salt, chilli, soy sauce or stock to his. He also loves spag bol but I use orzo pasta rather than chopping up spaghetti, root veg chicken casserole well cooked then mushed up a bit, or a tomato and smoked paprika version with peppers and butter beans, fish pie etc. Each time I make one of the above I freezer half a dozen or more baby size portions. He eats toast, pitta with homemade humous, veggie sticks, he likes roasted cauliflower, tenderstem broccoli, scrambled egg, Weetabix with whole milk. I don't know how much he drinks because he BF, but when I express he still takes about 7oz and has 4 feeds a day but I'm aware he's pretty greedy with milk. Some days he has started to skip a milk feed around lunchtime.
He has porridge/cereal/yoghurt/toast/crumpet with fruit for breakfast a hot meal for lunch with a small fromage frais/fruit depending what he had for breakfast but only a snacky tea a rice cake, piece of cheese, cucumber sticks, tomato and just picked at it. If we're out during the day I pack him a little box with the kind of things he usually has for tea and he has his warm meal at dinner time instead. Each main component meal is probably only 2-4 heaped tablespoons though and then maybe a spoon or two of yoghurt/mashed fruit (although he prefers pieces these days), so it sounds like he eats a lot but the portion sizes aren't huge.

You can buy low salt stock for risotto, that's what I do. The amount they then get from one portion is tiny. And spices really are fine or can be dialled down with something dairy mixed into a separate portion.

I realise I probably come across as being very lazy and just wanting the easy option. Maybe I am. But I am expressing three times a day which takes 20 mins each time and I am also back at work. Also because she isn't having much milk I've got a bit stressed about making sure she eats enough and so I've just been giving her pouches or jars that I know she likes to make sure she gets enough calories.

Use low salt stock and add your salt at the end. We don't notice the difference without the salt tbh.

With curries, use yoghurt to make it milder, even half yoghurt half curry is fine.

Give her bits of what you eat, eg if you're having something with rice, give her rice with a different sauce. If you're having meat and veg, chop up the meat and use veg as BLW.

@Passthewinethanks you have made me feel a lot better