To be completely confused about milk/food/weaning for 9 month old?

[bananallamas]

DD has recently really gone off milk - she's mixed fed and is not at all keen on taking a bottle anymore so I've been trying to make sure she eats well and gets plenty of calcium from natural yoghurt etc. Her weight is fine, tracking her centile.

Some days she only has about 18oz across the day (plus one BF at night). Some things I read such as the Ella's kitchen weaning book say this is fine, but they should be eating a fair bit by this age. Some people even say that their babies had dropped most milk feeds by 9-10 months. But then BF and BLW advocates seem to come along and say that until 1 babies should get almost all their nutrition from milk, and food is "just for fun" and not to worry about quantities or balanced diet. I read somewhere else that they should have 24-32oz of milk day at this age so DD is nowhere near.

Similarly, I thought baby pouches/jars were ok and have been using them quite a lot (they're all organic, no added sugar or salt etc etc) as well as offering some finger foods. But I've just read another thread where everyone seems to be saying how terrible they are and how 9 month olds should be having "real foods" and suggesting lunches like sandwiches, omelettes, soup. People keep saying "they can just have what you're having" but we eat stuff like Thai curry, risotto, chilli and stuff that is all either spicy or not really very baby friendly. The thought of cooking special meals for a 9 month old who will throw most of it on the floor makes me want to weep.

So - what the hell am I meant to be doing? More milk? Less food? No pouches? BLW? And why is this so complicated?!?!

My baby is nine months old as well, but I have two older children so have done this before. I always recommend the Baby Led Weaning Cookbook, which has great family friendly meals including risottos, stir fry, curries, etc. You can get low-sodium stock and then add extra salt for seasoning after you’ve taken the baby’s portion out. For lunch I like to make things like savoury flapjacks or muffins, which can be frozen and defrost in just a few hours if you take them out in the morning. You can also make extra of something that is baby-friendly and save it for the next day. If my husband and I were eating later I would often give my older children sweet potato, which microwaves really well, with some cheese on top, or mashed up with cooked carrot.

I think by this age it’s good to be giving them three meals per day, but also milk when they want it. My older children were formula fed and were down to two bottles per day by nine months, but this baby is breastfed and isn’t quite as predictable. Just try to offer a good variety of fresh foods and try not to be too annoyed if it ends up on the floor!

So long as baby is eating and gaining weight and having wet and dirty nappies etc then don't worry. Of course you should be freshly preparing family meals from scratch which you all sit down to at the same time to eat the same things.... but in the real world... give baby a variety of foods and textures (so finger food and pouch/jar food). If you're eating something they can have a bit of then let them e.g. risotto or a bit of the naan bread.

DS dropped milk feeds around that age. DD dropped eating in favour of milk at one stage when teething! If less milk I replaced it with yoghurt, cheese and milk in cereal, porridge or puddings.

Kallo do an ultra low salt stock (you can buy in Tesco.

I made massive portions of risotto, chilli, etc. Portioned up spare food into little Tupperware tubs to freeze for days I couldn’t be bothered to cook. If you like it spice you can always add more spice once you have taken DCs portion out. I would give DD mild curry, chilli with a little paprika, etc

I was ready to tear my hair out about weaning until I read Prof Amy Brown's book on "why solids matter". Basically lays out the research in a really readable way.

I always recommend this book. It is not preachy re method of weaning and is written by a qualified dietitian. Some books I read were almost cult like about one way of weaning or another. For what it’s worth, I did blw with two and loved it but there are some who are almost a bit evangelical about it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Weaning-Made-Easy-Recipes-Spoon-Feeding/dp/190828174X/ref=nodl_?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Food wise, the pouches etc aren't great because not much protein or fat usually, often just vegetables / fruit though of course not all crates equal. They're grand in a pinch but I'd try to use less than that.

You can totally give your baby what you're having; it takes a bit of adjustment in the method but it works... use the kallo stock cubes for cooking in place of normal ones, salt free and very good, you can get them in Waitrose or Ocado. When cooking anything with chilli etc, just add the chilli and salt last and take out a bowlful first for the baby, give them one portion and freeze the rest.

Otherwise, salad-y bits like chopped up avocado, tomatoes and cubed brown bread in olive oil/balsamic vinegar is popular with ds.

When are you all finding time to stand at the hob lovingly adding herbs and spices to meals from scratch? My DS is sleeping like crap so naptimes are for me as well as him, I go back to work in 2 weeks, and the last thing we want to do at 8pm when he is in bed is cook.

@paintedfences I try to pick the ones that have protein in eg DD had one today that is potato, spinach and beef casserole

Try not to think about it as having to make separate meals....just think about making new versions of old favourites that are child friendly. You'll always be making them. You won't just stop once a child is weaned, you'll be making these meals for years.

Thanks I will definitely get some low salt stock cubes.
I feel pretty guilty now, I know I probably should have done things better. I feel a bit like I'm failing her with weaning a bit like I've kind of failed at BFing (again, another thread...). But I'm really trying to not make it into a massive issue and to relax and follow her lead.

She can eat exactly the same as you, just be careful of salt. I use the low salt stock cubes for anything like risotto.
She can have your curry, it's hardly that difficult to add a little spice until splitting and then adding more for you guys.

I have never used a pouch or jar. We were advised to check the sugar content on everything in the baby aisle, a rusk has the same amount of sugar as a bottle of lucazade, just because it's In the baby aisle does not mean it's healthy.

There is a card you can get that tells you green, Amber and red in the amounts of sugar, salt that are healthy, ok or unhealthy.

When my son was weaning he was eating a massive variety to get him used to textures, tastes and smells. It's not a waste if she doesn't eat everything, it a learning experience as is sitting at the table and eating together. It can be frustrating but just remember you are helping teach her.

I read a really good book, why solids matter. Put my mind at rest!

@hammeringinmyhead my DH cooks the evening meal while I'm putting DD to bed. We manage to eat something vaguely healthy/normal about 5 nights a week, the other two are normally frozen pizza or "fridge leftovers" ie random shite

Ok I've just ordered the solids book that a couple of people have recommended

We just give him what we are eating, and have always done this. He's 10 months now and has always fed himself as we did BLW. And yes that means katsu curry, risotto, chillis, orzo, roasted veggies, soup and all! We replace stock with very low salt stock and we have always cooked from scratch anyway so it wasn't much change for us. I realised the other day that he's never had any "baby food" or bought baby snacks.

Milk-wise he's breastfed, so just on demand.

I find it all much less stressful by letting him just work out his own appetite. He feeds himself, so once he's stopped eating the meal is over. Simple! No "one more bite" etc. I could definitely be anxious about these sort of things, so this approach has let me totally trust baby and not over analyse what he's eating. Much better for both of us, I think.

Please do give your baby Thai curry, risotto, chilli along with lots of fresh fruit and veg. If you are cooking it yourself you know there is no added salt or sugar. I made this mistake thinking spicy “adult” food wasn’t good for a baby and I have a massively fussy 12 year old who will only eat plain food with no sauce or spice and it makes life difficult if we want to go for a meal that doesn’t serve plain chicken breast or fish and plain veg. Babies all over the world eat spices and chillies and all sorts and they’re fine

Oh no don't feel rubbish, you are doing a great job, and expressing 3 times a day is a nightmare you're doing so well! I don't slave over the cooker, it's mostly all done in the pressure cooker in massive batches so not often. We do pearl barley, black beans butternut squash, sometimes a curry, a vegetable stew etc. but oy one at a time, freeze in ice cubes and then the job most evenings is just open freezer take a selection of different cubes and microwave. I also freeze portions of fish that just go in the oven for 20 mins, frozen broccoli florets steamed in microwave for a few minutes. It'll be a 2 hours cooking max every couple of weeks but on the day to day is a matter of minutes to prepare, usually the amount of time it takes her to eat a small handful of blueberries or cucumber bits and throw her water cup around a bit! Quick lunch stuff like avocado, a scrambled egg, dairylea on toast, definitely not cooking every day ain't nobody got time for that. The pressure cooker is a gift from the gods. Well, Amazon prime but you know what I mean.

Proper food was very important to my younger child at that age. If I’d only offered milk DC2 would have had something to say! There is no issue with using pouches: apart from anything else, they’re correctly textured for the age (also important for my youngest who retched and threw up anything that was too textured, so we had to take it slowly).

You kind of have to alter your cooking when you have a young baby. It’s only for a few months.

I used very low salt stock (Kallo Organic) and seasoned mine at the end. Things like Thai curry you can make the paste yourself and put loads of coconut milk into baby’s portion so it’s not spicy.

Pouches are fine as a once every now and again thing, but even though they’re only veg etc they’re highly processed. Bit like you eating a fancy ready meal for every meal.

I'm back at work too so my baby mostly has jars or a little of what we're having or simple things like a cheese sandwich and fruit. Breakfast is nearly always toast and or porridge so that's easy enough. People say they shouldn't always have jars but honestly if it's too stressful to think about I'm sure they arent that bad. We take care to avoid too much salt and sugar but my parents have her 1 day a week and I know they are less careful and even the nursery has fed her fairy cakes! That milk intake sounds ok to me, 500ml is about right.

Interestingly my baby stole some of my chilli the other day and i was surpsied she wasnt bothered at all about the spice (I can't take much spice anyway so it wasn't super spicy but a definite kick). Didnt ket her have much though as she had had her dinner and i was worried about bad nappies! We mix between changing our recipes to be more baby friendly and just using jars and eating whatever we want.

I try to pick the ones that have protein in eg DD had one today that is potato, spinach and beef casserole
The problem is that the amount of meat in those is tiny. That's why "beef" is the third ingredient in the list.
If they put the meat first e.g. "beef casserole", it must contain at least 10% meat. If the meat is not the first ingredient e.g. "potato, spinach and beef casserole" it only has to be 8%.
Unfortunately baby food manufacturers are mainly interested in making money, not making healthy children.

If you cook from fresh 5 out of 7 days a week, that's great. Could you try and make baby friendly meals by using low sodium stock etc. on 4 of those nights?

You could use jars on the other nights or just knock up something like cheese omelette with veg fingers, or low salt beans and cheese on wholemeal toast. They don't take any longer to cook than a jar but would be more nutritious and probably more tasty.

op, don't beat yourself up. I had chronic low supply, it's shit! You do what you can, you've not failed at anything, she's been having enough milk anyway and not like you've been feeding her mc ds! what about frittatas/scrambled eggs with eg peas/frozen spinach and cubes of bread and butter added? Ds basically has had a frittata nearly every day. Crack an egg into a little dish, squeeze of tomato purée, grated cheese of whatever kind you have, peas or frozen spinach, and microwave for around a minute and a half.

@hammeringinmyhead usually nap times I prep dinner to sling in the oven or if it's a one pot thing I make double and freeze the other half.
Ds often wakes half way through which is a pain but a combination of toys / whisk / pans to bang on kitchen floor and a ring sling in a pinch will get me to the point I can close the lid and we can go play. I hear you on the lack of personal time. audiobooks and a coffee are my friend, makes me want to go and chop / prep etc as I can just pick up where I was and have a nice drink while I do.

Going back to work 4 days a week too start of next month and I have decided I am. Not. Cooking. During. The week. Nope, no no no. So I have been watching the batch lady (m.youtube.com/channel/UCvXSXS_pSElJH-4n2BsXpag) and am buying a second hand mini freezer which I'm going to fill with slow cooker dump bags and cooked one pot things I can just defrost which means ds and I can eat as soon as we get in and dh can help himself when he does too. Don't care what happens nights I'm not working, dh can do those, but just not cooking during the week.

OP remember it doesn’t have to be a hot meal dinner, some chopped veggies, hummus, pita bread is healthy too and takes little time. All processed foods, including Ella’s lose nutrients, they aren’t bad but fresh is better. Pouches do have their place for convenience although I found the cost high compared to chopping up things we already had in the fridge. Just aim to share what you’re having, you’ll be surprised at what a baby will actually eat, and then supplement with fresh fruit and veggies to ease your conscience if it’s pizza or whatever that’s not the healthiest. Your baby benefits from all the textures and tastes. We did give a vitamin at this point too just in case as DS had dropped most of his feeds and was down to one formula and one BF per day. But really it sounds like you’re doing fine. It’s a balance.

Thank you for all the ideas. This has made me realise just how little DH and I prioritise food for ourselves - we often dont actually have much in the house that I could easily just offer her. We buy our breakfast things (mainly cereal and yoghurt), and then I have soup or leftovers for lunch most days (I have coeliac so don't tend to have lots of bread products etc) and DH has a sandwich, crisps and a bit of fruit and maybe a biscuit. He buys seeded bread though which I've avoided giving her because of choking risk. Our fridge looks quite bare a lot of the time! This has motivated me to buy a wider range of foods and things that I can just give to DD fresh rather than always having to cook. And I will maybe try some more egg based things at lunchtime for protein. It should help us to eat better too.

I gave her some little strips of mozzarella last night alongside her dinner and she loved them, and this morning she had porridge and then some Greek yoghurt and then about half a pear which she fed herself and got absolutely plastered in so I will try to continue and wean myself off the jars and pouches a bit!