Would it bother you if your MIL said this about your DP?

[notanotherone28]

Partner is ill in hospital. He's not close with his mum, she never really bothers with him and doesn't have a close relationship with him but put on her Facebook status earlier "going seeing my (DP's name) later" with 3 love hearts.

Am I being a complete freak here? Or AIBU to feel uncomfortable?

OP, it seems that they are 'close' enough that she is there when he is ill and knows when he is ill, the issue, etc.

If they weren't close, she wouldn't even know any of this until after admitted to hospital? Sorry but your post doesn't add up. It definitely sounds like she is attention-seeking, but if she wasn't close, how would she even know he was ill, while he was still in triage, no less? Your post just doesn't make much sense.

What's wrong with that? Even if a mum and son aren't close, a mum would probably feel love very/more strongly if their child was in hosp.

Then again, maybe she is being a bit insincere IDK. I suppose I can understand it being grating depending on how badly they usually get on. Maybe this'll be a chance to mend their relationship a little though. :/

"going seeing my (DP's name) later" with 3 love hearts.

okay... I'm confused Is this all she wrote ? I'm really not getting it people, what line did she cross ? what private business did she share ?

Whenever I say anything to him about her, he gets so defensive. He won't have a bad word said about her but the problem is

He clearly feels very close to her.

no, she has given details of his condition.

That's very wrong of her to do.

When we were sat in ambulance triage she checked into Facebook straight away.

So she was with you both when he was taken in by ambulance and with him at the hospital? Seems like a very close mother-son relationship. If she wasn't close to him, she wouldn't even be with him at the time he got sick or in the ambulance triage. They clearly spend time together.

She is probably exactly what you say, however the fact she spends a lot of time with him and he won't have a word said about her, shows that they have a very close relationship, as much as you don't like that.

Most people realise others post things like this to gain sympathy and should be ignored!

Also I dislike the replies such as ‘hope everything is ok hun?’ and ‘I’ll pm you’ ...

She thrives on the attention and drama

Sadly, you can’t stop her.

Just block her on Facebook. People know who she is

If they 'rarely' speak to each other, then explain how she was with him when he went to ambulance triage? Explain how she visits him, and how he won't have a word said against her? Reality seems that they have a very close relationship, but you don't want them to so you are trying to convince themselves they don't. Sorry, but imo 'not close' means your mum spends no time with you at all, no visits, and is certainly not with you when you fall ill and go to hospital, and then visit in hospital. My idea of 'not close' means they don't really talk and hence she would have no idea he was even sick, until you or he told her.

Attention seeking behaviour!

Sometimes - not saying this or every time - the emotions expressed on fakebook are as far as it goes...

AAhh okay OP, I hadn't realised she had shared all that private business... I get it now..

He obviously adores his mum, and you don't. She is visiting him in the hospital, and checking in when there which seems reasonable. Facebook is ridiculous at the best of times. Just ignore her. Regardless of her attention seeking it is probably very scary having her son so ill.

This would slightly annoy me, but in the grand scheme of things it's the least of your worries at the moment I would have thought?

Honestly, just ignore her.

I think they're closer than OP is saying, and she doesn't want to admit it because she would rather MIL wasn't bothering with DP.

That way she could be all 'I told you so' when DP gets better, and can encourage him to cut her off.

I could be way off the mark. It's just the vibe I'm getting.

Everyone knows FB is a load of shite. What you say she’s done is fairly tame by FB standards.

If her son is very ill, she would be most unusual not to feel any alarm or distress. Even shite parents would usually prefer their offspring healthy rather than ill.

Have they never had a close relationship or is it more or a recent thing?

Absolutely abhor such attention seeking types on 'BoastBook' who's sole existence relies on validation of those stupid enough to prop them up

Sounds like she's attention seeking. Has anyone said "u ok Hun? Inbox me" yet?!

YABU.

I mean, YANBU for it to bother you but that's what 90% of facebook is for and as for blabbing his businesses, if DH doesn't care or doesn't care enough to ask her to stop, then i really don't think you can get in a huff about it.

My cousin posted pics from my grandmother's funeral. That was fun. From during the actual service. But whatever, it surely says more about these chronic facebookers than anyone else and there's no real point in getting upset about. I just know that cousin and your mil are that type of person and interact with them accordingly.

I think they're closer than OP is saying, and she doesn't want to admit it because she would rather MIL wasn't bothering with DP.

Yup, me too. It sounds like she doesn't want her DP and mother being close so is talking herself into believing they aren't and thus trying to make it happen. If she is there with him in triage, they must be pretty darn close!! It's quite possible that the mother is like the OP says, and the OP can see through her etc, but be that as it may, it is more than obvious by her visiting, by his not hearing a word against his DM that he feels close to her and wants her in his life. Even the OP's own posts make that more than clear.

'BoastBook'

Lol good one! That is what it's like. Mostly fake, filled with look-at-me posts and the passive-aggressive 'when someone talks shit about you' type cryptic posts that leads to the 'you ok hun?' and the 'I'll PM you' replies, as a PP mentioned. The 'checking in' function is the perfect function just created for the Grade A attention/sympathy seeker.

I now only use Facebook to play games like Criminal Case series and slot machine games on.

I hate when people do this. They're only interested in their children as soon as it means they have an excuse to get sympathy and attention for themselves. It's pathetic.

I can understand you being annoyed, totally. It's infuriating at times because you know that it simply isn't genuine and they just want the spotlight to be on them. Try and ignore it. I know it can be tempting to confront because it's so fake, but it only gives them more things to seek attention over. As long as you and DP know it's BS and don't take it seriously, that's all that matters.

I wouldn't waste your energy on your MIL right now, OP. I sense that you don't like her at all, but it's not worth getting yourself upset about her FB. If she was with you when he was taken in that is not a distant relationship, even if you would prefer it to be distant!

Maybe you're a bit sensitive as your DH is I'll but I think YABU. If he doesnt like what his mum posts then he can tell his mum himself.

Her FB is a reflection of her life and her diary, you and DP are bit part players in that. She's his mother, she loves him, hence the love hearts. but they rarely speak to each other. It's not a close relationship. You make this massive leap that she doesn't care because they don't live in each other pockets.

TBH half the DILs on MN would love this problem, a bloke that rarely speaks to his mother

He won't have a bad word said about her but the problem is, I can see straight the fakeness What you think is fake.

Pics from the funeral? I got trapped - bloody English manners,whats wrong with us? - and had to sit through a bloody video. Service followed by lengthy meal with speeches and tears. Funeral was husband of acquaintance who never stopped complaining about him when alive but enjoyed widowing a lot. No facebook then, thank heavens. Leave your MIL alone, he's her son.