To ask teacher why DS’s line was excluded from class poem?

[Usernamealreadyexists]

DS (8) was teary evening and asked if he could skip the class recital in front of parents next week because the teacher didn’t include his line. He put forward an idea. Other kids had two lines included. I know he was very excited about the whole thing and was looking forward to me coming to thing. He said he was the only person who put forward an idea that wasn’t included. Should I speak to the teacher?

Perhaps his line wasn't appropriate to the subject matter. Perhaps it was a repeat of what someone else had said. Perhaps thry chose the best 30 linrs and his just wasn't as good.

Don't be that parent.

From what he said it was relevant to the subject.

He said he was the only person who put forward an idea that wasn’t included

I find this hard to believe tbh.

I don't see what's wrong with asking her about it in a non-confrontational way

I would speak to her from an angle of him being upset and wanting to make her aware...and see what she says. It sounds a bit crap tbh

I think asking in a non confrontational way is fine. If he’s upset about something at school the teacher should know (whether she subsequently changes anything or not!)

If no-one asks, how is the child supposed to learn?

He said he was the only person who put forward an idea that wasn’t included

So did everyone actually contribute a line, or did everyone just feed in ideas and edit together?

Could his exact line have been left out, but the idea combined with other ideas? Sounds more likely to be misunderstood by an 8yo.

Just tell him his contribution might feature in the next one. It sounds like a 'shared write' where children are encouraged to compose and suggest a sentence or line. The teacher can't use all of them and they are often repetitive. This is small stuff and not to be sweated.

Pick your battles carefully; put this one back, it's too small!

Yes I would definitely ask, why should he be left out. Don't think it's anything to do with being THAT parent as a pp said..what is wrong with speaking up for your child? It could be a mistake as much as anything..

Why hasn't he asked the teacher why his line wasn't included?

Just say he was upset due to it not being included and is reluctant to take part because of that. She will hopefully explain why on this occasion he missed out

The poem is one line per child. One child had two lines in. He and another child had rhyming lines.

I’m sure there is a reason but it saddens me he wants to exclude himself from a class thing after being so excited when he told me his idea.

Not that it is relevant to this, but he has HFA and I have a good relationship with school.

@WorraLiberty

Probably because he's eight years old.

Maybe you had the gravitas and confidence of a 45 year old barrister shortly after you ceased to use nappies but most children that age aren't ready to question their teacher.

Thank you all for your thoughts - it’s uswful for me to see different perspectives. I wouldn’t have been confrontational.

I have asked him to try to speak to his class teacher about this. He just wants to tell her he wants to do another activity instead. I’ve said try to explain why but he’s he’s asked me to contact teacher.

I know his line might have been crap and I know he can’t go through life being accepted for everything. School has been tough for him in many ways but he tries so very hard.

As a parent you need to sometimes understand what is happening so that you can manage your child's expectations and help them when they have not understood procedures correctly.

At this age they are NOT confident in questioning their teachers!

I imagine that a teacher would want to know that a child in their class had been tearful about something relating to school. It's likely to be a misunderstanding of some kind, but it's still important to get clarity on it for your DS. Small issues like this can have a big impact, or can themselves be symptoms of an underlying problem.

Is he doing something else though?

There’s no harm in asking. Just don’t go in all guns blazing, children get the wrong end of the stick sometimes.

OP-I don't see what is wrong with asking the teacher to find out what the situation actually is. People accusing you of being "that parent" either haven't read your post or are just being obnoxious for the sake of if. Going in all guns blazing to complain would he wrong, but checking the position so you can talk appropriately yo your DS would be fine and sensible.

I think it's fine to calmly check with the teacher if your son is correct. If he is this should be addressed.

You should definitely ask the teacher about it.

Truly these people saying ‘don’t be that parent’ likely have NT children without any additional needs. My DS is also 8. Has just been diagnosed as profoundly dyslexic. He really really struggles with literacy. He is our 3rd child and our older daughters were very typically high achieving academically. I was very slow to be ‘that parent’. Thought he just had to find his way. I wish I had spoken up on his behalf more vigorously and more often. I won’t make that mistake any longer.

Teachers are mostly well intentioned. But their attention and resources are stretched. You are the advocate for your son. You are absolutely not wrong to ask - politely - about it.