To elope?

[JorisBonson]

Getting married in March. It's all doing my head in and all I want is for me and DP to run off and get it over and done with.

Both mother's are making things difficult and about them (his in particular). My best friend just got married and her day was very similar to mine. There is a lot of in fighting in our families and our small wedding and small lunch will be a nightmare with everyone round a table.

This is the second time around for me and DP does not court attention. I'm dreading the thought of our wedding day.

Most of our family would eventually get over it I think, apart from my father. He's very traditional and I think this would really hurt him.

I just don't know what to do.

This is how me and DP are going to do it. We’ll find a nice hotel somewhere we can get married at just the two of us. Not bothered about wearing a wedding dress but will just wear a nice dress that i’d wear for a fancy meal out.
I’d much rather spend money on an epic honeymoon

OP, I hope it all goes well.
My brother eloped to Gretna and I eloped elsewhere.

Neither of us regret it.

Other two siblings had fancy weddings.

We all still happy with our choices. Horses for courses, as it were.

That's what we did. Just us and witnesses. Fortunately my parents were fine with it - saved them a lot of money! 😁 I highly recommend this approach.

Thanks all. I gingerly mentioned to my dad earlier that we weren't happy and we weren't sure if we wanted a wedding at all and he was brilliant. Just my mother to go 🙄

DP has been fantastic but the fall out from his side will be big. I've told him to take his time but it's all heading to elopement - and I'm really excited!

Good start, well done.

I think Gretna gets booked up pretty far in advance and there are plenty of other places you could also go away to for a few days and get married somewhere that you love. That's what I'd do.

We got a slot at Gretna three weeks before. It won’t be that busy.

This is so brilliant! I’m glad you are your DP are going to make sure you get the day you both want. Don’t lose sight of that and let anyone bully/blackmail you back into making it a bigger do. Good luck!

I'm wondering if I should get my fascinator out ready....

Sadly not 🙄 the conversations with our mothers didn't go well AT ALL so we're trying to figure out a new plan that will please everyone. Sigh sigh sigh.

Please still wear your fascinator in June 😁

Now you've annoyed both future MILs you might as well go ahead and elope anyway! I certainly won't advertise my 2nd wedding to family in advance - this is the closest you can get to elopement in France, where everyone gets married in the local town hall. My DM has form for inviting badly-behaved relatives to her DC's weddings (yes really!) and making it about her, plus DGM expects to be waited on like she's the Queen. Far too much hassle and drama for someone who hates weddings anyway!

Good luck OP

Well that's my way of thinking but DP is a measured soul and just wants an easy life. I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to (it's his first and my second) so I'm in the process of tweaking the day.

Sigh sigh sigh (again)

We eloped 13 mths ago (it was us, the celebrant and my young adult children) and my MIL is still sulking about it. To give her her dues, she’s still sulking about something her BILS wife said to her 20 years ago so we’re not that special!!

The stress of saving and planning a big wedding was awful - MIL insisted on having an opinion on everything but wasn’t contributing any money. FIL kept saying “whatever you want will be perfect” and my family are over 10,000 miles away so had no day to day involvement.

We didn’t tell anyone (apart from the kids) until it was done, by which time we didn’t care as we’d saved a fortune, had the day we wanted and were actually married. It wasn’t the wedding I’d always dreamed of but I got married and that’s all that matters.

Some mothers you can’t ever please, so make sure you please yourselves.