About sperm donors?

[needingdonorsperm]

AIBU to wonder if there is a way of having a child using donor sperm but not fertility treatment?

Yes I know someone who did it, twice.

Yep. Pretty common among same sex or celibate couples.

Probably a stupid question tough but how do you find it?!

Try the website co parents

I want DC2 but need IVF. Might look into this tho.

My worry with using unknown sperm donors is how do you know they are checked for STIs or genetic conditions. What's the law on anonymity for privately sought sperm? I know with fertility clinic donations the child has a right to know and the donor is only anonymous until child is 18.

Co parents seems mostly to be men wanting to raise a child though, which isn’t what I want!

What do you want? To pay a clinic for a properly tested sperm sample and have all the legal side sorted, or a more unofficial arrangement? How you go about things will depend on what you're looking for.

I simply want to have a child. I don’t want the father to have any part or involvement in the child’s upbringing.

Google Home insemination, or donor insemination at home, OP. That seems like what you are suggesting you want? I would only use a legitimate company that screens donors though, to not do so IMO is dangerous and irresponsible. You may 'simply want to have a baby's but ultimately home insemination isn't statistically effective at all. Is there some reason artificial insemination in a clinic wouldn't appeal?

As an aside, you may be close that you want a child all to yourself with no paternal involvement but the child will have a father like it or not, and may one day wish to find that person so I would consider your feelings on that too.

I'd find a clinic you feel comfortable with and book in to discuss available options so you're fully informed and can decide if any work for you.

I take it you are against same sex couples having children, too.

She didn’t say she was against it? Just urged you to reflect on the possibility of any child wanting to form a relationship with its other biological parent.

if you go down the unofficial route not using a proper clinic then the donor will have the ability to get parental rights over the child and you have no guarantee about STDs etc. You can just use a clinic for insemination without IVF. That way the donor has been health screened and the father has no ability to get parental rights.

I know a woman who had IUI at the age of 40 at a UK clinic so totally an option

Yes, my wife and I did hone insemination using a donor, we found our donor on Pride Angel. Feel free to message me for further advice.

There are a few sperm banks that will send sperm to your house. Rules have changed recently so you need someone medical to sign for it. SellmerDiers will approve someone their end whilst Cryos need someone here to take responsibility. I used Cryos before the rules changed and am now 17 weeks. The advantage of using somewhere like that is not only is the donor tested for diseases and chromosomal problems but the legalities are taken care of as well. On the other hand it is expensive.

Have you thought about ICSI op? Some clinics do offer IUI and ICSI o over 35s now.

Butchy a child born as a result of donor treatment from a clinic doesn’t have a relationship with the sperm.
Thanks elle I will message you if that’s OK!

Maybe a bit of a left of field idea. But if you don't want the child to have any contact with the father and don't want to go down an official route. Why not just hang out in a few bars and see what man takes your fancy and shag him and be done with?

Butchy a child born as a result of donor treatment from a clinic doesn’t have a relationship with the sperm.

But they could potentially want one, which could cause resentment in years to come if it’s not possible. Would you be prepared to deal with any resentment? (It’s not a criticism)

Why not just hang out in a few bars and see what man takes your fancy and shag him and be done with?

Venereal disease. OP’s idea is better.

Seriously Vlad?

Find a licenced clinic that will treat you - plenty will. They tend to offer IUI as that is more successful when using frozen, properly quarantine sperm.

If you use a ‘fresh’ sperm donor off they internet they could apply for parental responsibility, residency etc in the future. Never mind the risks of STD or genetic conditions they could be passing on. Also there is a 10 family limit for registered sperm donors to lower the risk of siblings marrying unknowingly. Some of the unregulated donors seem to get a kick out of having 50+ children out there.

Butchy to be honest all that is covered thoroughly - I mean yes it is possible of course and I just don’t know but I don’t want to not have a child because they might resent the setup I brought them into. That could apply to so many children and so many situations.

@needingdonorsperm I mean... look let's not all clutch our pearls. This sort of thing (not the baby having thing) - but people hooking up happens all the time. So you've made it clear you don't want to go down the fertility treatment route, neither do you want the father to be involved. So go pick a man that takes your fancy. He need not know your intentions. After all it's just sex.

Any official treatment will come with the man eventually having some sort of rights even if he doesn't act upon them. If you want to be unofficial about the whole thing then why not just shag a man who ideally takes your fancy.

Again. Let's all stop clutching our pearls. We are adults here. And what I am suggesting is essentially just sex. Happens every day all across the world.

OP hasn't indicated having any fertility problems so essentially she just needs some sperm.