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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that DP is telling people that I'm pregnant?

39 replies

Momma97 · 28/09/2019 22:32

I'm about 6 weeks pregnant and me and my partner decided together that we would start to tell people at about 12 weeks. I have had a miscarriage at 3 weeks previously and I am terrified of it happening again. The only person I have told is my Mum.
I told my DP that he should tell his Mum also but instead he told 2 of his best friends and his cousin.

AIBU to be upset about this?

OP posts:
Cleopatrai · 28/09/2019 22:34

YANBU!

ToastAndBlackcurrantJam · 28/09/2019 22:36

No, YANBU. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly Flowers

NearlyGranny · 28/09/2019 22:37

YANBU! What was he thinking?! Some men are thrilled at mere proof of their fertility; is he one of these? Have you asked him what on earth he thought he was up to?

pinkstripeycat · 28/09/2019 22:38

Yanbu

GabriellaMontez · 28/09/2019 22:40

Yanbu. Why has he done this?

Elieza · 28/09/2019 22:40

He’s obv so excited he just can’t wait to spill the beans. You are not being unreasonable at all, you had an agreement, he blew it, he’s a numpty.

Original poster
Momma97 · 28/09/2019 22:45

@NearlyGranny I think he reckons that because I've passed the 3 weeks (previous miscarriage) that we are in the clear. Hes so excited and that's wonderful, so am I! Was very surprised when I confronted him about it saying he thought it would be fine as they are his best mates!Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Momma97 · 28/09/2019 22:46

@ToastAndBlackcurrantJam thank you love!

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 28/09/2019 22:47

Did he agree to just tell his Mum?

Perhaps he wants support as well?

Original poster
Momma97 · 28/09/2019 22:47

@GabriellaMontez I think hes so excited that he can't keep a secret! He only had to wait another 6 weeks Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Momma97 · 28/09/2019 22:48

@Ponoka7 yeah we both decided that we would tell our mums. Totally understand him wanting support and if he had run it past me I would have told him he could tell one of his friends but not 3!

OP posts:
Rachelover60 · 28/09/2019 22:56

You're not unreasonable to be a bit peeved under the circumstances but please do forgive him, he's just excited and him telling anyone will have no effect on your pregnancy.

Congratulations Flowers

GeePipe · 28/09/2019 23:04

Bless you op. Just let it go. Hes excited. Im about 5 weeks and have only told my dm. Told her to tell no one. She told my sister the same night! Im not mad at all she was just excited lol. Dp doesnt even mention it as its a sore point at the moment. So dsis knows but doesnt know i know she knows!

Italiangreyhound · 28/09/2019 23:26

OP I totally get he is excited and that is great but he needs to start acting like a team with you, not with his mates! He's a grown man and he needs to wait until you are ready to share the news.

Yes, it's his baby too, but it's your body and you need to be in control of things at this stage.

Congratulations Thanks

Aberhonddu · 28/09/2019 23:27

Many Congratulations Momma97
💐💐I really hope that your pregnancy goes well.
Your DP has definitely jumped the gun by telling too many people but he's probably excited too, you're not being unreasonable to be pissed off, sometimes the excitement can be overwhelming.
Very best wishes for your future as a family.

SuckerForYou · 29/09/2019 00:57

YANBU I'd be annoyed too. Being pregnant after a loss is stressful enough, you don't need any extra! Although he definitely shouldn't have told his mates, he clearly didn't mean any harm. Just make sure you are crystal clear that you expect him to keep to his end of the agreement in future. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy! Flowers

Sparklesocks · 29/09/2019 02:29

Deffo NBU!

OwlBeThere · 29/09/2019 02:48

I think YABU. It’s his baby too.

Original poster
Momma97 · 29/09/2019 04:25

I completely understand that it's his baby too and want him to feel involved during my pregnancy. My only issue is that he kept it from me and had agreed to only tell his mum, and then broke his word.

OP posts:
Teacher22 · 29/09/2019 05:30

I think that you have just learnt the lesson that if you tell one person something, you tell the world.

Can you keep secrets OP? I can but I know of no other person who can. Human beings are hard wired to gossip.

CustardCreamLover · 29/09/2019 05:36

OP my husband kept telling everyone and anyone I was pregnant it really annoyed me! I was so worried about something going wrong I thought if we told people we would jinx it If that even makes sense!

You're right to be annoyed but try not to get angry about it. What's done is done. Just ask him to not tell anyone else!

ChrisPrattsFace · 29/09/2019 05:37

We told mums - mums told grandparents - grandparents told the whole village. I was 6 weeks pregnant waiting for blood results to find out if it was viable and people were congratulating me.
YANBU op, it’s an added stress at what I think is a private time.

NoSauce · 29/09/2019 05:39

It’s a bit annoying but not the end of the world. I hope everything goes smoothly for you this time OP.

What do you mean by 3 weeks though OP?

Original poster
Momma97 · 29/09/2019 05:49

I was pregnant previously and miscarried when I was only about 3/4 weeks pregnant

OP posts:
NoSauce · 29/09/2019 05:52

At 3 weeks you wouldn’t have known though. At 4 weeks it was a chemical pregnancy so very early, these are very common OP and many people have them without even knowing they’re pregnant.

Try not to worry this time, hope everything goes well for you.

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