Not sure. Sexual harassment? Breach of the GDPR Act 2018?

[chrisie16]

My car broke down, on the way to an interview, and I called my insurance people, because I have breakdown cover with them. This was at 1.15. lunchtime. I was parked in a lorry car park, so off and away from the main road. At 15.15 a guy arrived and said I needed a recovery vehicle. It would arrive at 17.30 ish. After several phone calls, I was finally recovered at 21.00 and because it was now so late, he was not able to take me to a garage, only my home address. We finally got to my home address at 10 pm. Poor guy. He looked so knackered, I offered a cup of coffee. He accepted, and I made coffee. This is where it went downhill, very rapidly. He asked me my first name, which I told him. He then asked my age, which I didn't. He asked if I had his mobile number, and I said no. He then tang my mobile, so his number was a missed call. He told me "you've got my number now, you can call me, day or night, even in the middle of the night, if you need servicing". I was so gobsmacked. I couldn't even think. All I thought was, did he actually say that? Really? He did say that, he really said that! He left, and gave me a hug, on the way out. He drove away, and I was still reeling slightly. Sadly, he came back, in his recovery vehicle, and sat outside my building, for another 10 minutes. I received another two text messages from him, one stating that I now have his private number. This was all on a Friday. I got up on Saturday morning, checked my phone, and I had a missed call from him, at 3.30 in the morning! I have reported him to my insurance company, the people who provide the breakdown cover within my insurance policy. I have also reported him to the local police, who say that no crime has been committed, but they are aware of him now.

However. This man still has ALL my details, kindly provided by my insurance company. I understand that this needs to be shared, if I need rescuing after a breakdown. I do not like the fact that this individual has all my personal information. He has my mobile number. My email address. He knows where I live, and has my vehicle details. I am NOT a happy chappy. The GDPR Act 2018 states that my information should be kept safe, secure and not misused.

I think he was given too much info. Why did he need more than address (if service is to take her home only - otherwise she could direct him), name, where she is, can and phone number. Why did he need her email?

OP

OP I don't think your over reacting

Really appalled that so many women think offering a man a coffee is always 'code for sex'. I mean do you live in a70s confessions of film? And so it was AOK for him to call her at 3am.

I offer loads of men coffee. My father in law. My neighbours. Dad's from the kids school. Men who come to work on the house. Work colleagues. Not one has thought Oho she wants a fuck. They've all thought I'm offering them a coffee. Jesus christ.

It's the sort of excuse sexual predators make. Well she invited me in for a coffee what did she expect.

That women collude do heavily in this is just revolting.

OP he was totally out of order.

Why on earth did you invite him in for coffee? I've only ever done that if I really mean sex

FFS

Really appalled that so many women think offering a man a coffee is always 'code for sex'

If someone of the opposite sex asked me in for "a coffee" at 10pm I would assume they wanted sex, yes.

This man was a total stranger to OP and she invited him into her home. He could have been anyone! She's very very lucky he just got her number and gave her a hug.

Ignore the trolls OP. You did the right thing, both in being polite by offering coffee

Since when is it the done thing to ask a total stranger into your home like that?! It's not polite to do so, it's naive at best and stupid at worst.

It's not the GDPR Act. GDPR is a regulation (hence the R). In domestic law it's the Data Protection Act 2018

Sighs

Come on , we all refer to it as GDPR and know what’s meant by this

Of all the things to pick up on in this thread

So op was asking to be raped.

By being kind to someone who was sent to do a job for her.

You're a darling.

Inviting someone in for coffee is usually code for sex

W.T.A.F

He tried it on, he’s a chancer, no harm came to you, you’re way over reacting.

The guy wasn’t some random but sent by her insurers / the 4th emergency service

Gross and totally unprofessional. Basically a stranger knowing where you live and behaving like that would make me incredibly uncomfortable. I was messaged by a taxi driver years ago after he dropped me at my house and I felt very vulnerable.

Had this with Orange a few years back. Had rapport with customer support guy but was not expecting further calls/texts. Tbh, he clearly did not know he had abused his position, he misread the situation. If it happened now I would have reported (as you did).

I changed my number - I would recommend that you do, too.

Feck right off with the coffee thing. Coffee means coffee. Not sex. In a professional context particularly.

No excuse here.

No one is saying she was asking to be raped FFS, just that he misinterpreted the invitation to mean that she was interested. His behaviour was not great, unprofessional, but thinking he would then try and kill her is a massive overreaction. He misread the situation, was a bit of a creep and has now been reported to the police and is probably on a disciplinary because of it. That should be the end of the matter imo.

'This man was a total stranger to OP and she invited him into her home. He could have been anyone! She's very very lucky he just got her number and gave her a hug.'

This fully implies that she's lucky he didn't assault her.

Ie she was asking for it and it's just good fortune that she didn't get it.

I despair off the attitudes on here.

OP are you ok?Were you drinking last night?

I think you'll be fine, by the way.Sounds like a chancer,not much else.

So op was asking to be raped

Where has anyone said that?

It's not sensible to invite a strange person into your home like that. Gender is irrelevant - I would say the same thing to my husband.

Of course if OP had been raped or attacked it would have been the attackers fault but why would you put yourself in such a vulnerable position?

'This man was a total stranger to OP and she invited him into her home. He could have been anyone! She's very very lucky he just got her number and gave her a hug.''

If you want to think this does not heavily imply that she was lucky not to be assaulted, that is your lookout.

After several phone calls, I was finally recovered at 21.00 and because it was now so late, he was not able to take me to a garage, only my home address. We finally got to my home address at 10 pm.

I'd be suspicious that this late recovery is a deliberate tactic by him, particularly when women on their own are involved.

He's not a "poor guy" - its his job, he will be getting paid for it. I don't understand this desire to invite people in for coffee when they are doing a job. Most people working can organise their own coffee or want to get back home, not sit and chat over a polite coffee. Fair enough if they are already working in your house, but to invite someone in? Anyway, you've heard all that already OP. You clearly had the day from hell, your breakdown recovery service is hopeless and I join the AA or something instead.

cant believe some of these responses, victim blaming or what? I hope you feel better today OP, NONE of this was your fault.

It's not victim blaming when there is no victim, no crime was committed. This was a clumsy and unwanted advance that's all.

I cannot believe some of these responses. FFS, I invited a Tory canvasser in for coffee once, because it was pissing down with rain and the poor guy was soaked - luckily he didn't take it to mean 'please fuck me'.

It's a pretty poor world if you cannot do a nice thing for a stranger without opening yourself up to all sorts of accusations. He was there in a professional capacity - he should not have taken advantage of that. Even if a woman asked him in for coffee and got naked - it's his job to walk away, because WORK.

It's also pretty likely that OP froze due to her previous abuse and so of course she didn't assertively tell him where to go. Like a rabbit in headlights, she just dissociated and let it all happen - she didn't CHOOSE that, it's just what happens.

OP, I'm sorry if my explanation there wasn't what happened, as I don't mean to invalidate you by presuming. But it's so common a reaction, and also as women we have it drummed into us to 'be nice'. All these people slagging you off need to know they might not be as assertive as they think themselves, in a similar situation.

I hope you can sleep well tonight, OP

"This was a clumsy and unwanted advance that's all."

No that's not all, it was abuse of his position and a data breach. Let's not belittle this. How would you feel if you were contacted by your electricity company, someone that works in the council, or anyone else who holds your data to treat it as a personal date line? Would you not feel harassed? Vulnerable? It's an abuse of power, and thankfully is illegal no matter how much people on this thread are trying to dismiss it.