To want to hear some success stories of DC with ASD/C in mainstream school please

[Knoxinbox]

My DD has recently started reception in local mainstream school. No formal diagnoses but HV agrees with me there are enough concerns re: high functioning ASD that she has referred DD for assessment, currently awaiting initial appointment (and waiting and waiting and waiting....!)

Anyway, negotiated gradual start of 3 mornings a week and start building up from there... DD is struggling even with this. Having almost daily meltdowns at home now, not sleeping well, says she’s worried about school, refuses to eat or drink there (one reason she doesn’t stay for lunch)

I joined the Facebook group Not fine in school and now I feel utterly horrified and down about all the awful stories on there about how schools have failed to support their children with SEN

Anyone out there with a success story of a child with ASD attending mainstream school? What do you think has helped? Any advice to give a newbie just starting down this journey?

Should I push for an EHCP before diagnosis for example? Try and involve Senco from the beginning? Try and negotiate a continuation of the flexischooling arrangement we have pre-CSA?

Thanks in advance

I’m afraid every child is different so can’t help with what your daughter needs but I would push for all the support you think she may need.
My son is in Y3 in a mainstream school - diagnosed at 4, on the pathway from 3. He’s pretty complex and his asd is not mild! However he’s exceeded all expectations at school and done really really well. Developmentally behind his peers, speech delay, physical issue but just about keeping up academically and socially motivated to join in with his classmates. The school (basically an academy full of overachievers and naice families) have tried really hard with him. It’s not perfect, we have ups and downs and it’s getting harder as he gets older so who knows! The main things that have helped:

• open and constructive communication with school. We’re nice to them, they listen to us.
• we got an EHCP sorted for him. Luckily a full time 1:1 and they’ve been great. It just makes a massive difference knowing he can go for a break whenever it gets too much.

It’s been a LOT of hard work for us as well. We had to fight to get the EHCP. Without it he would have floundered. Good luck OP, it’s tough but with the right support in the right setting, tour daughter can thrive.

My son is 6. He has autism and adhd.
He attends mainstream and they are absolutely fantastic with him. The senco especially is amazing. He is thriving, not without challenges. But the support they give him is wonderful.

I have two dds. One is 10 and the other 6. Both have asd and adhd. Eldest is in mainstream has an ehcp and ft 1:1 and is doing okay. Happy to go to school, does the work, has friends. The youngest is now at a Sen school after such a horrific year in the same mainstream (she also had an ehcp and 1:1) that her teacher in her Sen school now feels she was severely traumatised as did we. It was horrific to the point we took them to court for discrimination.

So I’d say it depends on the needs of your dd (low functioning and high functioning doesn’t mean much really) but also the school especially the head and senco. We found ours both have a crappy attitude to inclusion.

Communicate with the school as much as possible (so schools are better than others). Visual timetables will help, a dedicated quiet space. It’ll be a period of adjustment for you all. Our specialist worker said the first term seems to be the most tricky due to everyone learning what works. Don’t lose hope. My eldest had a part time timetable until she turned 5. My youngest was essentially kept out so very different.

My ds is in yr2 and has asd. He has an ehcp and a 1:1. I wouldn't say it is plain sailing (especially reception) but he does love school and is learning lots both on the academic side and the social side. The school is very inclusive though and the senco is amazing

I could have written your exact post OP. My DD is year 1 and her school are absolutely desperate to move her to a resource base school and are being very pushy although she is very happy and loves being there which I am very upset about.
Although I have no answers for you I am watching with interest.
Some things they have done which helped in reception are:
Going to library club when she's been overwhelmed by playtime particularly wet play
Giving her ear defenders and chew toys
Buying her a little tent in the vestibule area to sit in if she's upset
1-2-1 for 1 hour a day
Social stories
Having a separate desk with comforting objects on when she's struggling.
To be honest she seems much better so far with the structure of year 1 than reception which she really struggled with.
Best of luck to you OP. I think it's really down to the school that you have.

My DD is 16 and at a mainstream Sixth form college, having achieved good GCSEs.

However at Primary I was being called in once a week at one point. And she did well at Secondary but I do know a number of children who didn't thrive and ended up being educated elsewhere.
I went through secondary with at least a plan B and usually at least a C as well.

If you want help/moral support the SN chat area here is good. But every child is different, and their development is not linear.

My DS1 is now 20 and away at Uni. His ASD is not too severe, but did affect him in school every day- needing breaks from lessons and quiet time at lunch etc. Get as much
support as you can, EHCP, sendco support in school, push for the diagnosis, get medical professionals
involved etc. There are many mainstream schools that do excellent work and meet the needs of ASD students well- remember that posters on a group like you mentioned will be self selecting, so will be showing the worst possible scenario. Good luck with your school journey- it can be good!

I work in mainstream with a asd child. He's absolutely thriving, the difference in two years has been amazing and I'd honestly say anyone visiting wouldn't spot him as any different.

I have an autistic DD who is thriving in mainstream secondary, although her primary school was fairly shit. I would say the things that helped the most at primary were:

1. visual supports, so that she knows exactly what to expect each day. DD was/is highly verbal and very academic, but that doesn't mean that she can process, retain and sequence information effectively. Visual timetables are fab, so are social stories with pictures.
2. Sensory diet - make sure sensory needs are met as far as possible. Comfortable clothes, ear defenders, fidget toys, lycra sheets - whatever floats her boat.
3. Anxiety and decompression - make sure she has enough time to decompress, so her anxiety doesn't ramp up. We did NO after school activities and absolutely zero on a weekend. DD never even made it out of pyjamas on a Saturday - lots of time to be very quiet with no social expectations.

For me, the biggest thing has been joining FB groups run by autistic adults to educate NT (neurotypical) parents. I have learned enormous amounts from their experience and wisdom. Good luck!

My ds is getting on ok at a mainstream primary. He is in his final year of primary. He is allowed frequent breaks from classroom. He wears ear defenders sometimes. Sits at front of class. Is not seated next to kids who upset him. Teachers seem to know my ds well and understand him. Of course it was much more difficult in the early years. I am very worried about transition to secondary school next year.

My son was diagnosed asd in year 3 and struggled all through primary in social situations. Delayed speech in his younger years and hitting other students and being unruly. In year 5 he couldnt cope with the noise of the hall,balloons make him anxious and he would often just run out of class.year 6 things were calmer.
Just started year 7 in the local comp and after a few weeks of me frantically worrying,he has settled. Making friends even. Enjoying it and getting on with what's asked regarding work.

I feel I made a mistake though,explaining to him about his asd when he was younger. Although he knows why he reacts to certain things in a way maybe other peers dont, now he is in secondary he wants so badly to be the same as everyone else. He hates the label. So now I'm saying his asd has almost gone and he is happy with that.
The senco was great at primary but it was a small village school. He is now at a large comp so hoping things are ok. I know a teacher pops into his lessons and asks if he's ok,but my son has asked her to stop as this is making him feel different so I've had to call her!

We had a wonderful mainstream school experience (mainly due to wonderful teachers) until the age of 8. Then it went downhill as new teacher was awful. Now DS is in a specialist school and so happy. I wish I had done it earlier to be honest, but his first four years were great. (He was diagnosed aged 3.5)

We had a great first 2 years of school - no ASD diagnosis then but I had strong suspicions but you couldn't pick him out of the crowd as any different then really.

Wheels fell off for year 2 and out of school for year 3. Now at a brilliant ASD specialist school and I wish he'd gone there 2 years ago. He gets taught, treated and accepted the autistic way and not supported to the nth degree to conform and mould into the neurotypical way. He feels he can be himself and not feel wrong all the time. It's been quite liberating. What I'm saying is, even if MS doesn't work out, there are other options and they might just be better!

Slightly a way away from where u r as secondary school but My boy is almost 17, just got his gcse results last month, 4 level 5's and 5 level 7's

He has autism, in primary was a school refuser, daily melt downs, bad anxiety, years 5 and 6 were hell.
It was reccomended he go to a special needs school as their was no way he would cope in mainstream.
he desperately wanted mainstream though, to be at a school with his best friend (his only friend)
We agreed to give it a go, he did struggle the first year but slowly he settled, made a few other friends, finally gave in and started to trust his mentor and t/a.
The school have been amazing, and concerns iv had dealt with immediately.
He had a time away card which in class if struggling at all would allow him to leave and find his own safe place (usually the library)

When first starting he had a few troubles with teasing from other kids but as time went on people genuinly started to like him, hes very quirky and is very black and white, says it how it is and people like that about him.

What definatly helped i think is iv always been very firm in my expectations of the school, i sopose u could say pushy parent but im of the opinion those who speak loudest r heard.

Im so glad i agreed to mainstream, it definatly helped him be the more outgoing boy he is today, yes we still have alot of issues but most of the time all is well.

Im so proud of his resilts he got but i think the proudest moment was he was prom prince, voted by the other students, it showed he is accepted and sometimes those things matter more.

No success story here but I would ask to see the school and ask for a My Plan then a My Plan+ this massively helps in the steps to getting an EHCP. An EHCP takes 20 weeks but they need professionals so the advisory teacher service would be the first step for the senco. It's hard work but if you think she needs the support, then start now.

Be that pushy parent though. See your GP too, ask for occupational therapist and a paed apt

Thank you so much for all the replies

A couple of Qs since I’m still learning the lingo! Please could you explain my plan and also who are the advisory teacher service?

the biggest thing has been joining FB groups run by autistic adults to educate NT (neurotypical) parents. I have learned enormous amounts from their experience and wisdom.

Would you mind suggesting a few group names please? Thank you

DD is waiting on initial paeds appointment and we are considering paying for a private hold psychologist in the mean time

As a Senco, I've seen many children with both diagnosed, and undiagnosed ASD over the years. The vast majority are able to thrive in mainstream, but I agree it's all about the support. Some, however, have struggled for different reasons and we have supported them to. I've to specialist provision. I remember one particular little boy who was lost in his own world pretty much all of the time. His parents insisted he stay in mainstream. He spent most of his days crying and hiding as he was so overwhelmed. Eventually parents reluctantly agreed to spend some time on the specialist provision and he move down there full time soon after. He changed totally! Despite our best endeavours sometimes mainstream doesn't work.

My son is 7 in year 2. he was diagnosed with asd at just turned 3. He thrives at mainstream. There was loads of support at first as he struggled but now he knows what is expected, has made loads of friends and is very happyso there is probably minimal targeted support just a generally inclusive feel and a very sweet form teacher (he still has small groups for academics as he is behind academically).

Its working well for us so far, I didn't expect it to when he was first diagnosed. I hope he stays in mainstream through secondary as well but I'll take each day at a time. Hope it works for your daughter - imho its worth giving it a proper try and a chance to settle. Yes, you may need to fight for things like an ehcp but try to do this in dialogue with the school if you can, don't just go in there elbows stuck out demanding ehcps. Look at the criterai for getting an ehcp, see if he meets it and why, reiterate to school what difficulties are and ask for their support in procuring an ehcp. If they still can't be bothered then give them a rocket by all means but most teachers etc go into what they are doing trying to make a difference and trying to help pupils.

@knoxinbox I read Embracing Autism and Autistic Allies. Both groups are quite international, with lots of input from people in the US, where systems and 'therapies' are very different. Please read the pinned posts and sit back and read for a bit before you post - they are quite political spaces. The Autism Discussion Page and the associated books are also excellent.

Hi, as a secondary teacher. I have taught many students with HFA but two stand out.
Both boys, both had statements.
One was painfully shy, mum was so worried about him. But he tried really hard and school put him in higher sets and he achieved really well and was really happy. His mum was so pleased.
The other boy showed far more of the classic signs of autism. He found school difficult and confusing, I remember him crying as a description I had written on the board of an item didn’t fit the item he had at home. But as the years went by he became more calm, he was reassured by sympathetic teachers and the other students accepted his quirks and really started to appreciate him. He also became good friends with other children and had a support network. In my subject he achieved 2 grades higher than predicted.
It can work.
Look for a school with a safe space who really value their contribution to students with ASD.

How are you spreading the mornings? Is there a gap between because you might find it easier to go for she does mon - thurs morning or even Monday to Friday morning ( visual timetable for the days ) then rest for the weekend. If routine is important days together can help. Then just letting her rest watch tv or do what she wants after school. Behaviour will get worse with tiredness. I think anyone will agree new starts at any setting mean worse behaviour at home In the short term.

My son is now in year 5. Was referred for assessments in reception and diagnosed in year 1.

We have been lucky that his school is amazing. He has multiple health problems as well as his asd and adhd but they have been very accommodating. He has had an ehc in place since year 1 and now has full time 1-1.

We had a very rocky year 3 but with good work between me and school (and a lot of combined fighting of the system) we got through it and put a lot of adjustments in place.

We know he will need specialist for secondary but I am pleased that with a lot of work from all sides we have so far made mainstream primary work for him.