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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed about car seat?

39 replies

intraining · 26/09/2019 20:20

My DD is 26 months old. She was with her dad and MIL today and decided to use MIL's car for short journey. MIL has a car seat in there which is a Group 2 car seat. DD is slightly below the weight requirements and my understanding is that these car seats (that use the main seat belt) are for 4 year olds plus?!!! My partner won't back down that he made a bad decision letting our DD use the car seat and that she looked fine in it. Should I mention to MIL that I don't want her to use seat?

OP posts:
Celebelly · 26/09/2019 20:23

YANBU but I'm a car seat maniac Grin

DadCanIHaveAZedgie · 26/09/2019 20:25

YANBU but I'm a car seat maniac

Same Grin

NoKnit · 26/09/2019 20:27

I don't think the age or weight matters, it is the height that is important I thought it was about 95cm? So it depends on how tall she is really

Celebelly · 26/09/2019 20:29

There are different restrictions on height and weight depending on whether your seat is an i-Size one or not.

GettingABitDesperateNow · 26/09/2019 20:30

Yanbu, I would get the make and model of the car seat though and find out for sure what the minimum age / weight / height requirements are so you can show him in black and white. Why didnt he use your car seat? If this is going to happen again it might be worth buying another cheap one for mil to keep and use. Even a second hand one that fits her is probably better than a new one that doesnt

Wildboar · 26/09/2019 20:30

Minimum age is 3 for a group 2 car seat. She also needs to be the minimum weight and height.

Kanga83 · 26/09/2019 20:31

YANBU- I'm an RTA solicitor. However, height also plays a part.

Iggii · 26/09/2019 20:31

She "looked fine in it"? Ffs. Did he have a look to see if her bones looked strong enough to take the impact of a crash too? What has looking fine got to do with being in an age-appropriate car seat?

Expressedways · 26/09/2019 20:34

Can you buy a cheap group 1-3 stage car seat to keep at MIL’s in case of future impromptu trips? Standards have changed a lot since MIL’s children were young so she may not have thought she was doing anything wrong but DP should know better and was absolutely in the wrong. If your DD doesn’t meet the height/weight requirements then the seat is not safe for her to use and YWNBU to point this out.

NoSquirrels · 26/09/2019 20:35

Can’t imagine any 2 year old is OK with a high-back booster that uses the seatbelt. YANBU.

Original poster
intraining · 26/09/2019 20:48

I have downloaded the handbook and it says from 3 years too. My DD is tall for her age but I don't actually know how tall she is...! Is it illegal for her to use the seat too? He's being extremely stubborn on balvokg down on this. I think (hope) deep down he knows it wasnt a good move...

OP posts:
Kanga83 · 26/09/2019 20:53

Basically, a child younger than four doesn't have to bone density to cope in a crash, including not being able to brace which protects the spine, head and neck. She needs to be in a five point harness for her own safety. A minor crash can do nothing to you, no real damage to your car, but a host of injuries for your child. Buy a five point spare seat.

trilbydoll · 26/09/2019 20:55

I think they need to be 15kg for the seatbelt to engage. So she might have looked lovely but if she's not 15kg then strapping her in was a waste of time!

Kanga83 · 26/09/2019 20:56

Have a look at the joie elevate, it's £60, lightweight and adapts as she grows. Don't buy a second hand one though

Expressedways · 26/09/2019 21:00

My parents also have the Joie Elevate for DD. Seems perfect for an occasional use seat.

TokenGinger · 26/09/2019 21:05

YANBU. At age 2, she should still be rear facing so the thought of a two year old being strapped in forward facing using just an ordinary seat belt is horrifying.

TokenGinger · 26/09/2019 21:08

Also a car seat maniac here.

AIBU to be annoyed about car seat?
OneAutumnMorning · 26/09/2019 21:09

I'm with you. I don't drive but I've had SO many arguments with grandparents who want to take my kids in their cars just go and buy a random car seat with no research! One of these things that make me want to throw my hands up and scream!

blahblahblahblahhh · 26/09/2019 21:09

Yanbu but I'm car seat obsessed!

BottleCrow · 26/09/2019 21:16

Why are so many people "car seat obsessed"? Get a life!

MoreCuddlesForMummy · 26/09/2019 21:30

@BottleCrowprobay because if you follow the directions for car seats then your child is less likely to be seriously hurt in an accident rather than flinging caution to the wind and just doing what “looks right” 🙄🙄🙄

babycatcher411 · 26/09/2019 21:31

Why are so many people "car seat obsessed"? Get a life!

Because they’re using a hyperbole to demonstrate how much they care about/the importance of children been safely secured in vehicles?!

Celebelly · 26/09/2019 21:32

'Get a life' is apt given the purpose of car seats! 🤦‍♀️

Coconutbug · 26/09/2019 21:47

YANBU. My MIL called once to ask dd height and weight as she was looking at car seats and I explicitly told her she will not be going in a seat without my approval.

It is illegal for them to use a seat if she is under the approved weight limited. Not to mention most 2 year old probably aren't sensible enough to sit correctly for the entire journey (if they get fed up or even fall asleep the belt won't be positioned correctly). There is a 5 step belt test to show if it is sitting correctly I doubt it would be on a 2 year old!

Most importantly children's bones aren't strong enough until age 4 to withstand a collision in a car seat with just a seat belt.

I know people used to think I was weird and unreasonable for rear facing my DD. (Now 3) until we were in an accident and she didn't even notice whereas I was significantly injured !

Sorry very passionate about it now lol

carly2803 · 26/09/2019 22:05

absolutely you are not being unreasonable!!

id have gone nuclear putting my child in a seat which isnt safe! (because it isnt)!