To not use a name anymore?

[bespokepaininthearse]

So I am due very very soon and had a few names to choose from when I give birth, and I have found out that someone I don't know but is friends of friends, who lives in the same village has used my favourite name for her child. The name is quite unusual, they will only be a month apart in age, likely go to the same small village school and be in the same class - with the same name.

Aibu to be really put off using this name now? I don't pick names based on how unusual they are but the idea that there will be the same unusual name in the class a bit older, and they seem like a pretty well to do family so I'm worried my child will always be the second best if that makes sense? Please tel me if I am being ridiculous.

I think you’re being a bit silly, still use it if it’s your favourite name! You don’t even know the family.

I wouldn’t use it op, I’d pick another one

I was friends with someone right through school based on us being the only two with our name in our year (not a particularly unusual name, just how it fell). It was the thing we first bonded over. So sometimes the child themselves sees it as a big plus to have the same name as someone else in their class.

Use it.

I didn't name my dd the name we had chosen as her dads best mate used the name for his child who was born 3 months earlier.

My dd has met the girl about 3 times in her 17 years and I haven't seen exes best mate for 10 years

Kids like being the same as others and 2 girls with the same name could end up as best mates or the family could move away and you never see the child

My son has an unusual name but we know several others. My daughter has a name in the top 3 for our county- never had anyone with the same name in her class/gymnastics/scouts! If you like it, use it. Don't try to second guess.

We were torn between two names for DS and we ended up not using one of them because we realised our neighbours’ DS (who is terribly behaved, constantly screaming and whining) had that name, and whilst they would be 6 years apart so not associated with each other, it just tarnished it a bit for me.

Whilst I can see that there is a possibility that there could be a child with the same name in your child’s class whatever name you choose, I think in small village primaries it is probably less common and I can see why that would bother you.

When I was pregnant, my step cousin was pregnant at the same time and was due before me, she chose the name I had picked and I was soooooo upset over it ( I was hormonal obviously) and the name I ended up choosing suits my ds so much better and the name I wanted definitely wouldn't have suited him.

I have a second cousin whose daughter is six months younger than mine. They have the same name although I use the full name and cousin's child goes by a shortened version. Named for the same (now dead) beloved family member.

No one is in the least bit bothered that we happened to choose the same name. We're not close enough that I thought she heard my name and 'stole' it, but I wouldn't have minded if she had. We go to family gatherings and two girls of roughly the same age have the same name. It's not a big deal.

Use it!!!

I don't see a problem. In any school year there are bound to be at least two children with the same name. When my son was at school there were a lot of Dave and Nicks; Similarly quite a few Sarahs and Louise.

I think it depends how unusual the name is and how small the village is!

If you're going with something which isn't heard every day (say Felicity), then that's probably OK. If you're going for something far more unusual (say Desdemona), probably less so!

My parents were going to use my name for my older sister, but didn't for exactly the same reasons as yours.

She didn't go to school with us. She could be dead for all we know. But I have the name and my sister a different one for all time because of someone I don't even know is alive.

My kids will have two uncle Matt's, because I married a man with a Matt for a brother, and my sister married a Matt.

Any idea that you have control over these things is a complete illusion!

Example is DS is Maximilian and they were going to use Max or Frederick and they were going to use Freddie. I was devastated.

Good grief. Devastated is a bit strong, given that no-one owns a name.

You can choose any name you like OP.

Honestly I couldn't give even the smallest shit about this.

a) you don't know this person!
b) most people know people with the same name as them. It's no big deal!
c) your child will live most of their life outside of school!
d) who cares????

If the other child was born in August they will be in a different school year to your September baby.

Just use it anyway.

I had a favourite name for my DD before she was born but one of my close friends chose that and she was 4 months ahead of me.
So I didn't use it.
One year later friend emigrated and so I could have used that name.
You should use the name you like.

Use the name you like. I chose a relatively popular but hated on mumsnet name for my first girl. Second girl and we did a matching name but its really quite low down on the popularity lists.
We've never come across a child with my first girls name but randomly there seem to be loads with my second girls name and its still low down on the lists - just a quirk in the area we live in...

When I was at school just my form contained two Michaels, two Ians, two Samanthas, two Nicolas and two Sarahs. Even if the name you've chosen is unusual now it might be commonplace in a few years time (the idea that kids would be called e.g. Noah or Alfie in this day and age would have seemed unthinkable when I was a teen). Just use the name you like.

I feel like if you're having these sort of doubts, you've probably gone off it. Especially if you're worried people on MN will say it's stupid or whatever. If it's making you worry in that way, maybe it's time to look for something else, instead.

What a ridiculous thing to post about,and even think about. Just use the name that you like,and don't even think about what other people name their children. I am not sure why some people have these issues.!

We didn't settle one one name before dd1 was born at all. We had about four or five. It took until she was several days old before I woke up one morning and thought that's it - she's a '...........'

She kind of named herself.

They may move house, not go to the school, go by a different nickname.....

But I would say wait till you meet your child, then decide.

Use the name you love. It's for life. You never know what will happen. They could move away from the area in a few months. Or send their DD to a private prep. I didn't use a name I loved because there were several babies and little boys by that name in our area. But they all moved away and then so did we. We ended up in an area where no one had that name. But a few people had the name we chose instead. You can't win. So long as it's not a close family member, go for it.

They won't even be in the same year and you don't even know them!

Thanks for all the replies, most people seem to be in the use it anyway camp! They will definitely he in the same school year, they baby is less than a week old, I know there is no guarantee they will go to the same school, but it's quite a small village and all the kids go to the same school so it's highly likely. I have a few names ready but this was my favourite, the others were backups just in case it really didn't suit when it was born! I think I will have to see how I feel when baby is here.