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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fucking HATE my hair and chop the lot off?

42 replies

Tobythecat · 26/09/2019 11:15

I have fucking awful hair. It's very fine, curly/wavy, kinky, flat, fluffy and frizzy and always looks a fucking terrible mess no matter what i do to it. I've tried to grow it long but it just looks stringy and shit. It's really getting me down and makes me feel like just shaving the lot off.

I've used loads of different intensive sulphate free shampoo/conditioner so its not that it needs moisture, its just fucking horrible hair. I've tried just using conditioner, just makes it a greasy mess. I don't want to spend an hour every day styling my hair, only to go outside in the wind/rain and it will be back to a mess again. When people say their hair is messy i laugh and think 'i wish i could get my hair to look half as good as that'. I'm so fucking pissed off with it, it doesn't look like ive brushed it most of the time Sad

Should I just cut the lot off or wear a wig?

OP posts:
desperatesux · 26/09/2019 11:18

No as you will lose the hair you have and wigs are v v expensive-
A good cut will help but if you have the money I recommend Great length hair extensions. They have changed my life and I have hair like yours
They cost about 700 but mine last for 6-7 months and my hair looks amazing and so easy to style. People are always stunned when I tell them its not my own hair

EmeraldShamrock · 26/09/2019 11:18

Would it sit better in a shorter style, it might be easier to manage.

ToastyFingers · 26/09/2019 11:18

I cut all my hair off. Went from chest length fuzzy damaged hair to a number 2.

I now have a short pixie cut which is really easy to take care of.

Onetwistedsista · 26/09/2019 11:21

OP do you have a pic please? I have type 4 hair and feel your frustration. But i reached a point a few years ago where i LOVE MY HAIR and wouldn't change it for the world. It does require much more patience and maintenance. Tlc :)

GobletOfIre · 26/09/2019 11:36

I’ve got fine, thick, wavy hair, prone to frizz. It’s now above shoulders and I love it. Go and chat with a stylist and get it sorted.

MillfredTheGreat · 26/09/2019 11:39

I have similar hair OP and get Brazilian blow dries now every few months. It makes it look a bit thinner but at least I don’t look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge and it’s much easier to manage, especially in rainy/humid weather.

Wexone · 26/09/2019 12:01

You need to go to a hairdressers and get a good cut from someone who is used to dealing with your hair. I have veru very thick unruly hair and every hairdresser i went to would always say oh you need layers loads of layers to help thin it out. But then the layers started to separate and i looked like i had two heads of hair or very bad hair extensions. It would actually separate and stick out. So i went one day to a very expensive hairdresser (But worth it) and she sat me down and said we are going to stop putting layers will never use a thinning scissors on your hair again. For the 1st time i ever i actually came out happy with my hair . There was some pain while the layers grew out but it was worth it. She is also so good that when i go in for a cahnge with a pic she will say no and expalin why this wouldn't suit me like cououring shape of face, time you have in the morning etc. Now 10 years on and now have to travle over an hour to get to her, will not let anyone near my hair. I always come out happy, she also put a plan in place for the preparation of my hair in the run up to my wedding. Yes its a pain to travle and it does cost a bit but so worth it. My hair is always complimented now, i know how to look after it (Only was it about twice a week), can style at home to some extent and when ever i get it blowdryed in other closer to home hairdrssers they always ask where i get it done as they love colour etc. Do your ressearch find out what you wnat, go to the hairdresser, book time to sit down and discuss your issues and also listen to her or his advice, you might have some pain for about 6 months while hair grows etc depending on what you decide to do but it will be worth it. You look at it every day everyone sees it and it makes you feel happy so i would spend as much as you can on it

HMArsey · 26/09/2019 13:01

I have the same hair as you, OP. It looked good for about two years in the late 90s when I had the perfect combo of a particular diffuser, particular drier and particular highlights. And washed and dried it every day.

Otherwise it's mousey, fluffy, flat, frizzy and wavy but not nicely so. A pixie cut sorts it out but I get bored with that.

DontCallMeShitley · 26/09/2019 13:37

Mine is fine, has a kink but goes straight at the front while remaining wavy at the back. If I get it to a length I like it goes flat on the top of my head. Frizzes in humidity.

I find it is better if I don't use conditioner at all, and keep away from rich shampoos. I use Mane & Tail original and Avalon Organics lemon shampoo which help, and absolutely no conditioner. If I am not going out I leave it to dry naturally so end up with a nice wavy back and straight sides, lovely.

mauvaisereputation · 26/09/2019 13:39

I second the Brazilian blow-dry idea. They really are great for frizzy hair.

lasttimeround · 26/09/2019 13:45

Just cut it short and wear it short. No wig

BaronessHildebrand · 26/09/2019 13:48

@wexone approximately where is your hairdresser? I need a decent hairdresser. I just had all mine cut off, it was just as @Tobythecat described hers, I much prefer it short now, but the style isn't quite right for my fat face.

WhiteCat1704 · 26/09/2019 13:50

Curly girl method. And don't brush!!! Only in the shower when you have conditioner in!

Wexone · 26/09/2019 13:57

I live in Ireland sorry. live in the south east about an hour and a half drive from Dublin. which is where my hairdresser us based.

HMArsey · 26/09/2019 13:59

Some of us just have shit hair. There's a photo in the Curly Girl book of a woman with short hair having her hair done and it looks dreadful, no beautiful uniform curls, it just looks like it needs a wash.

I can brush it or not brush it, it's as bad either way.

BlindAssassin1 · 26/09/2019 14:05

Don't brush curly hair!

And a second for the curly girl method - loads of groups on FB if you want a good starting place.

Ellieboolou33 · 26/09/2019 14:09

@Tobythecat I know EXACTLY how you feel, my hair is like fluff, hardly grows and I also have an awful cow lick. I've tried all styles bar pixie and colours but it's just my hair. Unfortunately my youngest dd has inherited it.

Progress2019 · 26/09/2019 14:13

I think I have the exact same hair. Its always tied back otherwise its just sort of like candy floss. Its more like moss than hair.

BaronessHildebrand · 26/09/2019 14:14

@Wexone I'm almost tempted to fly over every six weeks, but that seems excessive! Can anyone recommend an amazing hairdresser in the SE of England. Willing to travel.....

seastargirl · 26/09/2019 14:17

I third the Brazilian blow dry, since having that I spend 5 minutes blast drying my hair and it actually looks like I've just stepped out of a salon!

Shop around for it, I pay £70 every 4 months ish at a small salon, most places seem to charge 100+ though

MikeUniformMike · 26/09/2019 14:20

Go to a decent hairdresser who understands how your hair behaves.
A decent cut will change your life.

seastargirl · 26/09/2019 14:20

This is one of the before and after from the salons Facebook page, and it will continue to look like that for weeks with just a quick blow dry after washing

To fucking HATE my hair and chop the lot off?
londonschool · 26/09/2019 14:28

Brazilian blow dry. I have the same hair as you. It has kind of changed my life! I agree - shop around. I pay about £80 at a basic salon in London every 6 months or so. I had it done once at Trevor Sorbie and it was not as good.

Snoopdogsbitch · 26/09/2019 14:28

I feel your pain. My hair is short and loads of people compliment it. Great hairdresser (Scotland unfortunately), salon shampoo and conditioner for fine hair and, this has changed my life, Milkshake Incredible Milk 12 effects leave in treatment. It smells divine, I'm not allergic ( like I am to everything!), is super light, last for months and is the only thing I put in my hair. Get it at salon or online - honestly it's a game changer. Good luck.

funnyfeeling · 26/09/2019 14:30

I needed this today. Sorry you all suffer from the dreaded frizz mop but it is reassuring to know it's not just me. Of course everyone I notice when it's completely out of control looks like they've just come out of the hairdresser Confused

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