To think normalising incontinence in young mums is wrong

[Mammajay]

I just saw an advert tag line with the young mum saying..a little bit of wee won't stop me being me '. This is from Silhouette and Always are running a similar campaign. For most people, leaking is not normal and there are lots of things which can be done to correct incontinence. There is no shame in leaking, of course, but especially for younger women, it should not be normalised

I’ve been to Dr and got referred to specialist who wasn’t in the slightest bit interested in my incontinence.

Apparently it’s not bad enough. I explained that when I get a cold and cough and sneeze it’s at its worst. The answer? When your cold is gone, you’ll be fine. I’m not, but they’re not going to do anything about it. So it’s not as simple as going to the doctor to sort.

I’ve actually been pleased to see the adverts on TV. They have helped me feel not so alone, have provided me with a product I need and opened up discussion on here and IRL.

I think these adverts need to be treated like the follow on milk ones which have to contain a message about breast being best. The adverts should have to mention that most incontinence is treatable and to see a GP/physio and that the pads are just to give some confidence while waiting for the treatment to work.

I had NHS physio help with continence. The NHS could do well to have a public information video on Youtube or at least on their website as it is very straightforward, telling people how to do the exercises correctly.

For anyone interested, my physio said this:
Your pelvic floor is like a long pad or saddle of muscles from clitoris area to bum. To feel the different muscles, try sitting leaning forward on a hard chair, pull up your muscles like you are trying to hold in pee. Try again, this time leaning your weight back so you feel the muscles in your bum area. When you do the pelvic floor exercises, concentrate on pulling the whole pad shape of muscles up as fecal continence can also be a thing.
Fast - pull the muscles up, breathe, release, do again 10 times. Do 3 sets of 10 through the day.
Slow - pull the muscles up, count to 10 slowly, release. Wait 5 seconds to relax the muscles completely, then repeat. Do 10 times 3 times through the day - you don't have to do them all at once!
Sitting is an effective way to begin with, as you can feel the muscles throughout the pelvic floor and concentrate on lifting the entire floor region. Expert level is being able to do it standing, I hate this way though and only do laying or sitting.
You may not be able to do many in the beginning but keep at it, keep it up daily. I started with doing fast and slow 5 times each, once a day as my pelvic muscles felt shakey and weak after that. Then progressed to 10 times each, twice a day, cured my incontinence really quickly.
I forget to keep the exercises up but during colds when coughing or sneezing a lot the incontinence comes back, then I know to get right back on the exercises. They really work.

The NHS Squeezy app is good too!

I thought exactly the same when I saw that Ad. Women’s hour did an episode not long ago that highlighted how awful we are in the U.K. at promoting and doing our pelvic floors. Plus I suppose we have much worse afterbirth care than many other EU countries. It’s awful that young women think this is normal.

A small amount can be done but after all the mesh scandals for many women physio will improve the problem rather than eliminate it. Pelvic floor exercise simply can’t cure every problem. You may not like it, but this is the reality for thousands of young women.

The one that really gets me is that middle aged woman dressed in a ludicrous carnival costume. She's giving some bloke the come on wiggle while she's wearing pee pads? I agree with you op.

Another OAB sufferer here, since age 42.

It's life limiting. I dread holidays and unpredictable, toiletless scenarios.

I take Vesicare, which has helped.

OAB seems to be the invisible sister to Stress Incontinence.

It's a PITA.

After my last DC I have been left almost completely incontinent. Not a little, I'm talking accidents almost daily.
I went to my GP and have been a few times over the last couple of years. I've been told it's normal and I should also try and loose a little weight. Lost weight - same problem. So I went back and asked for help and I'm treated like a drama llama who can't handle a little bit of wee and to just get on with it.
I wet myself almost everyday. I am the fully grown adult version of a toilet training toddler. I spend a small fortune on incontinence products. I don't feel "fabulous" or confident in the slightest. I wear products day and night and it rules my life. And it really pisses me off (no pun intended) that some big corporate wants to take my misfortune and tell me how I must feel and just get on with it.

I see what you mean and women should be better informed and incontinence services should be better funded and more accessible, but, having said all that, why shouldn’t incontinent women have nice underwear marketed to them and be portrayed as happy and sexy? The two things are not incompatible. Medical help should be easily available and women should feel good about themselves even if they have this issue.

I doubt it's going to stop people trying to prevent incontinence
Actually women have a tendency to just get on with life when they have an ailment rather than stopping and taking care of themselves. With incontinence and other post pregnancy/labour damage we are even more inclined to just accept it as how we are now than to know that in an awful lot of cases most of the damage is actually reversible. All of the 'body positivity' messages new mothers get about their body changes, while well intentioned, can actually be really damaging because it tells us to accept rather than investigate and potentially fix.

When I started to experience a small bit of incontinence, I sent away for some extra nice reusable slim pads and started wearing them for movies/long drives/etc. When I lost a little bit of weight, I regained full bladder control. I spent 6 and a half years 'accepting' the state of my post pregnancy and section tummy. Then I took up a sporting hobby, which meant I built a great core and now the damage to my tummy is so significantly reduced and still improving. I could nearly cry for all the years I spent needlessly 'accepting' it.

It's good to accept the things we can not change but not until we damn well know for a fact that they can't be changed. We should not be being socialised to 'accept' before seeking help.

I agree with Booboostwo - I have mild incontinence and was told that its quite hard to fix with pelvic floor exercises. I do them, and definately cutting right back on coffee has helped but frankly Tena make my life much more relaxed. Before I bought the pads I was always stressed about it, with the pads I'm not.

Yes there should be more help, no it shouldn't be treated as 'normal' and frankly it is, but I think that's a different issue. I find all Sanpro type ads irritating - be they parachuting wearing white trousers or young women dancing around in their underwear.

Absolutely, alittleprivacy.

Couldn't agree with you more. Surely it's better to invest in seeing a private physio or doing a specialist exercise class to see if it helps before bowing to the inevitable? Of course we shouldn't stigmatise people who have incontinence problems. But the message that is inevitable once you've given birth is wrong.

I did a specialist class on restoring your core strength (google restore your core and pelvic floor classes - there are lots of different ones) and that I reckon improved my incontinence by at least 80-90%. And I'm in my fifties. You can also have someone check to see whether you have diastasis recti, i.e. your abdominal muscles haven't knitted back together properly after you've given birth, which is obviously going to weaken your pelvic floor.

I agree that these products shouldn't be marketed as a long-term solution, but I can also see that the bright&breezy style might be helpful to women who a) find incontinence too shameful to mention and b) are seeking help but know that it's going to be a while before they get a referral.

Then I took up a sporting hobby, which meant I built a great core
I was going to mention this. Swimming helped me, and I also lost a lot of weight. I think women should really be encouraged to be as fit and active as possible, especially as we get older.

www.asa.org.uk/make-a-complaint.html
Complain to Advertising Standards above. It doesn't need many complaints to look into things.
You might need the date and time you saw the ad.
It wouldn't take much for the marketers to say 'please contact your gp if the problem lasts more than x weeks' at the end of the ad.

There's a physio on social media reminding people to do their pelvic floor exercises - apparently three times a day for three months works for loads of folk with minor leaking. Have a look for #DryByChristmas.

It's funny. As in, it's meant to be funny, she does comedy.

I'm on insta, but, she said she's doing it for twitter and FB too.

[https://www.instagram.com/gusset_grippers/]

www.instagram.com/gusset_grippers/

I've been doing an exercise lately that's really helped. Let me see if I can explain it.

You are in a lift. You had a curry last night. The celebrity of your dreams and desires walks into the lift. You have an urge to do the biggest, loudest, smelliest fart ever.

The muscles you use to stop that fart are the muscles you need to CLENCH.

None of this mid stream nonsense.

Stop that stinky fart!

I've been doing an exercise lately that's really helped. Let me see if I can explain it.

You are in a lift. You had a curry last night. The celebrity of your dreams and desires walks into the lift. You have an urge to do the biggest, loudest, smelliest fart ever.

The muscles you use to stop that fart are the muscles you need to CLENCH.

None of this mid stream nonsense.

Stop that stinky fart!

I'm friends with gusset grippers!!! Feel famous by association...

YANBU! No one should feel bad about it, but the solution should be treatment not pads!

Another woman’s health problem swept under the carpet and normalised rather than women being offered appropriate help .

I agree op. I once went to a trampoline place with a bunch of mums and young kids. I was raring to have a bounce and half of them said (laughingly) ooh no I could never go on a trampoline I'd wet myself.
I thought-why is this just accepted? It's mad.

I Agree OP.

More should be done by midwives during the ante natal and post natal check ups instead of having adult nappies pushed by the manufacturers.

YANBU OP

We shouldn't be routinely normalising incontinence.

We should be normalising asking for help if you suffer from incontinence.