To think normalising incontinence in young mums is wrong

[Mammajay]

I just saw an advert tag line with the young mum saying..a little bit of wee won't stop me being me '. This is from Silhouette and Always are running a similar campaign. For most people, leaking is not normal and there are lots of things which can be done to correct incontinence. There is no shame in leaking, of course, but especially for younger women, it should not be normalised

It is available in the UK @Brittany. But often only if you have torn, have an ongoing issue after a few months, or you are willing to pay privately.

I think it is good that women are realising there are other women with continence problems. If there are various companies making several types of continence aids there must be a need for these items. When a woman is suffering from incontinence she may feel very alone and isolated and like she is the only person with a problem.
Not all continence problems can be repaired

It’s really not normal, it’s mostly fixable & shouldn’t be tolerated & normalising it with patronising, tinkly laugh ‘oh I pissed myself but I’m still sexy’ marketing is so so wrong.

It it’s happening to you then see your GP, get a referral and get it sorted (I understand that sometimes that’s not possible depending on the actual issue - but mostly it is &
implying we’re all there pissing ourselves & it’s nothing to worry about just put up with it, do nothing & buy our ‘sexy’ pants is misleading). & OP that’s to Mums young and old - fixable on the whole, you don’t necessarily have to have youth on your side for this one (although, as for most things it helps & you miss it when it’s gone!).

I'm 53 & suffer from overactive bladder, I regularly wet myself at least 2 or 3 times a day ( not just a few drops) Can I get my GP to take it seriously? I've been to the continence service but they put it down as mild incontinence, I'm at the stage where I have no choice but to wear adult Pampers or I would be washing clothes continuously every day. Incontinence in women isn't taken seriously enough, if men suffered the same way there would be uproar.

@areukiddingme, saying something that happens to you isn’t normal isn’t saying YOU aren’t normal. It’s saying this thing that happens, is common and happens to lots of us, but you don’t have to live with it, that there are people who can help. That’s the opposite of making you feel bad.

"Can I get my GP to take it seriously"

He would take it fucking seriously if you were working for him as his receptionist and having to leave your station to go to the loo every 5 minutes. THEN he would be telling you it isnt normal.

Ask him this. Ask him if he would see it as normal if you were working for him and kept having to go to the loo.

Ive not had children. Im 46 and also have an overactive bladder.

Agree it shouldn't be normalised, but there are a lot of services available privately to address these issues. Post-natal physio in London is around 100 quid per session. What's the cost of a lifetime of incontinence pants in comparison?

If men were pissing themselves due to excessive wanking we'd all be wearing ribbons and singing a song over it.

Women give birth and wet themselves - "here, love, some sexy black lace incontinence pants".

@PicsInRed has nailed it. 👏👏👏👏

Eh?

Its just advertising of their product that could be useful for some people.

Its not suggeating it as an alternative to actual treatment of the issue

I knew this thread was going to be about that fucking advert

I agree with everything that has already been said...and saying it is not normal is not saying that the women it happens to aren’t normal, it’s more that women shouldn’t just have to accept it as normal

There’s something else about that ad that really grates me that I can’t quite articulate. It’s sonething about the way she’s acting all ‘cool sexy’, saying ‘a little bit of wee won’t stop me being me’ and it’s sort of saying ‘don’t think you can’t be sexy if you wee yourself’ which may have good intentions (trying to break down stigma) but there’s something off about that. Are they saying that your life, probably sex life, isn’t affected by this? Just crack on women? It seems to normalise it to a point where any women ‘complaining’ about the effect on their lives could easily be dismissed with an instruction to go buy them so they too could be as breezy about it, just like the woman in the ad.

Well, it’s obvious that when corporates use ‘health & acceptance’ messages to sell more product, there’s going to be a problem.

Of course they don’t want you to see your GP and get incontinence resolved, how much product would you buy after that? How would that affect your ‘customer lifetime value’ to them?

It’s the same anytime a corporate (and their advertising agencies) are involved. Look caring, but keep us buying. In fact, make us feel ‘normal’ enough to buy more, once shaming us stops increasing sales as it used to.

Does Dove care what your wobbly skin or body shape is like? Care about diversity and body image for women? No, they need you to be convinced to spread their product on that body. In fact, you could say they have ‘skin in the game’ and the fatter you get the more product you’ll need to spread on.

Why is this such a surprise? Corporates acting in their own financial interest? Oooooo shocking. 🤦🏻‍♀️

These campaigns properly belong being paid for by philanthropy organisations, or governments (when education is cheaper than cure). Stop hoping corporate advertisers care about concepts like ‘health’, ‘mental health’ and ‘the planet’.

Agreed. I didn't grow up in the UK and in the country I am from, women get exercise classes - usually swimming or pre-natal yoga - to maintain pelvic floor strength during pregnancy and "recondition classes" after giving birth, all paid for by health insurance. The latter ones are as much about the pelvic floor as they are about getting your tummy muscles back to where they belong. You can bring children along or leave them with your partner.

It is by no means a perfect system, and whether it has any merit very much depends on the instructer, but I definitely did a lot of yoga pre-birth, just in case, and it seems to have worked for me.

@Nat6999, you are now at the stage were you should be refeted to your physio incontinence service.

I'm in my 50's and have just had my incontinence issues sorted out by a NHS physio. I asked her if it was inevitable that Women suffer from leaking and she said it was always solvable.

The appointment involves her doing an internal and asking you to clench etc, then she gives you a workout for your pelvic floor and it gets increased as you get stronger. Contrary to popular belief, main pelvic floor exercises should be done lying down.

You also have to give up caffeine, for post Menopausal incontinence and retrain so you aren't having lots of wees.

I read on here about younger Women having continual wees, 'just in case' but that messes up the signals between your brain and bladder.

I already only drank redbush tea, which is good for your bladder, so luckily didn't have to give up coffee etc.

However, some Women don't want to give up caffeine and cut down on drinking alcohol, so live with a bit of leaking.

If OP's point is about 'young mum' and 'young': they use 'young' person b/c being 'old' is so stigmatised. So they are trying to convince the potential buyer that they too are 'young' and to think of it as a 'young' product because 'young' sells & 'old' makes people think the image of the item is not for them.

I'm very much more offended about young=good old=bad, can't acknowledge that anyone could be ok to look over 40, than point OP is making.

Just about every woman I know has had some incontinence issues at some point - Ok for most it is temporary, and if it goes on then you should seek treatment, but to say it isn't "normal" when it happens to so many women is incorrect.

"Normal" doesn't mean "Oh just put up with it and go away, love" it means that loads of women have these issues and that it shouldn't be a taboo subject, and I'm really glad that there are products to deal with it.

Incontinence is not something women should just put up with

No it's not but if you cannot afford to go privately you have to wait up to a year to see a uro-gynae specialist, who will then tell you to do pelvic floor exercises I for one am delighted in the range of incontinence products available. Home Bargains have an identical but cheaper non Tena brand.

By normalising subjects they become less taboo and, therefore, hopefully, people will be less embarrassed about talking about such matters, but, hey ho, you crack on making people feel “not normal” about things they can’t control.

There’s a difference though, between reducing stigma (which is good but somehow I suspect Tena don’t really care about), and implying that it’s almost inevitable and just on if those things and therefore encouraging women to buy pads rather than go to their GP.

There’s a big difference between something being “common” as in, it happens to a lot of people, and “normal”; this is something that should happen to a lot of people, and is nothing to worry about.

I mean, cancer will affect 1/3 of people, so it’s relatively common, but I don’t think we would describe it as normal.

Normal, if anything, could stop women seeing a Dr because they may think “ok so this is just normal for women after children, I have to just cope”.

@Nat6999 I also have an Overactive bladder, and although physio hasn't ever been mentioned to me, what I do get is Solifenacin tablets from the doctor.

These have made a great improvement for me, maybe not 100% but I'd say maybe 98%. One little tablet a day has certainly changed my life. Obviously they might not be suitable for everyone but until I went to my doc I had never heard of them!

Yes!

I hate that advert.

YABU
She's not a young mum, she's about thirty.

In a way its good as it makes it less embarrassing... I honestly didn't expect damage post birth and I had a lot of damage including some missed bits which led to pain.
I think there should be more help. With post birth care and advice. You can Google it but my brain was fried from a non sleeping newborn

Zoflorabore that sounds awful. Get to your doctor, I hope they can help

Incontinence is definitely such an emotive issue, i've had OCD my whole life and my biggest fear is wetting myself.
I do have a sensitive bladder nerve and have sometimes not left the house for upto 2 years at a time as i don't trust my bladder to be that far from a toilet. Similar to urge incontinence, i'd feel a sudden desperate need for the loo and only get a few minutes to get to one, but my bladder could literally have an egg cup full of fluid in and nothing more. Oxybutinin has helped, but i get very frequent UTI's. got a bladder scan coming up soon and im terrified, as have to have a "full" bladder but my bladder doesn't do "full" and im scared i'll wee when they put pressure on.
I live in sanitary towels day in day out just incase, but having cervical ectopy and a heavy discharge doesn't help, the feeling of that and weeing can be quite similar so lots of panic moments.

Dating and sexlife none existent because of my bladder, wish they could just replace it with a robot one!