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AIBU?

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Original poster

GP accused me of stealing

90 replies

Justme1234567 · 25/09/2019 19:44

So today I went into my local walk in centre as I couldn’t get a gp appointment for being in the middle of a mental health crisis, so he was lovely at first, listened to me and gave me tissue. So I had stopped crying and didn’t want to put my dirty tissue on his table so I put it in my pocket as I was doing that he took off his glasses and his face looked very angry and he said to me “you just put my thermometer in your pocket” I said “what sorry?” and he repeated himself so where I’m very anxious I took everything out of my pocket and showed him I don’t have it and he said what else is in there and I got him to feel my pocket and he said, “sorry, I thought I had put it there but I’ve put it here!” Aibu to make a complaint?? I know it was a mistake but I left feeling even worse than when I went in, I was extremely embarrassed and burst out crying again when I left, I really felt like there was a different way to deal with this!

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 25/09/2019 20:12

I'd complain. Please do. He didn't just ask if she had it, he accused her, when she said no he didn't take that for an answer - 'What else have you got in there?' until she felt compelled to let him touch her pocket! No mistake there. Totally over the line!

DonKeyshot · 25/09/2019 20:13

That's outrageous! Do you have a friend/relative who can advocate for you when making your complaint?

Cuppa12345 · 25/09/2019 20:13

What he should have done is flipping open his eyes and look for the thing on his desk before feeling her coat pocket and making her empty it. He is a professional trying to offer medical support to someone having a mental health crisis and he accused her of stealing something that he had on another part of his desk. That is shocking.

31RueCambon75001 · 25/09/2019 20:14

That is awful. I cannot believe he made that weird leap.

UnaCorda · 25/09/2019 20:14

Are you sure he wasn't shocked/horrified himself (rather than angry) if he genuinely believed you had taken it? It could have been possible to mistake those two expressions or tones of voice in the heat of the moment.

NoParticularPattern · 25/09/2019 20:17

That’s horrendous. Like I can see how it would be ok to ask you if you’d taken it if he genuinely did think that, but once you’d emptied your pockets why did he still feel the need to press the issue further and have to bloody feel them?! Asking you if you’d taken it is one thing, basically flat out calling you a liar after you’d proven to him you hadn’t is quite another. Did he even actually sincerely apologise? I’d definitely make a complaint.

halloumi2019 · 25/09/2019 20:18

I would find the accusation rude. I’m not even sure how I would react.

I go in/out of my jacket pockets or handbag during GP appointments, eg reaching for my phone to reference something then putting it away. It wouldn’t even cross my mind that I could be misconstrued in this way.

It’s disrespectful that his immediate thought was that you attempted to steal, rather than he misplaced it. Who would even want to steal a ear thermometer, that’s just desperate or compulsive theft surely as it’s hardly valuable. He must have seen some dodgy patients in the past!

PEkithelp · 25/09/2019 20:18

Sorry, just to clarify, he felt your pocket? Did that involve touching you too? Just a bit disturbed by that bit! Obviously bizarre behaviour. The comment was clearly OTT but perhaps a forgivable mistake but can’t think why you would then instigate some sort of search!

Nuttyfellalovesnutella · 25/09/2019 20:19

It’s not nice for you but sounds like it was a genuine mistake on his part. We all make mistakes right? He apologised after and it was over quickly. Doesn’t sound like it was anything personal. I would try not to take it personally and forget it happened.

Halo1234 · 25/09/2019 20:19

Whilst I am sorry it happend and can understand why it annoyed you, I think it was an honest mistake. He doesn't know you to know if u would do that or not. I can understand your friends and family know you wouldnt do that but he doesn't know you. It was an honest mistake which he apologised for. He got the wrong end of the stick and was probably equally embarrassed to have falsely accused u when u were already upset. I would just forget about it. I am sure he has learned to be more careful.

ThinkerThunkk · 25/09/2019 20:21

A thermometer, but they are enormous things they poke in your ear these days.

Serin · 25/09/2019 20:24

That was my first thought too! How the hell would he think you had put one of those in your pocket? They are huge!
You would need a bloody shopping bag at the least.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/09/2019 20:28

he was overly nice after

I'll bet he was Hmm I'm not usually the type to make a fuss over such things - after all we all make mistakes - but for me he jumped the shark with "what else have you got in there?"

Certainly mention this to the practice manager, not least in case there's a pattern of such behaviour, but don't expect anything to come of it; some GPs regard themselves as untouchable and he'll certainly blame it on your "upset" and insist you were confused

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/09/2019 20:31

Why would you want a steal a ThermometerConfused.
Oh and yes complain

NSA2103 · 25/09/2019 20:33

I have two thoughts:

  1. The doctor should have probably phrased the question better, to not accuse you, and
  2. You should take a relaxed approach, and not complain. The NHS does not need to devote resource on a minor hiccup.

I wish you well in getting better.

PrincessandthePeach · 25/09/2019 20:35

That is crazy, definitely make a complaint! I know it's easier said than done as I would overthink this to the death as well but it is a reflection on his character rather than yours! Try to take it easy tonight. Hope things start to improve for you soon xx

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 25/09/2019 20:35

In all honesty, I can see why you were upset, especially as you were in a bad way. but people do steal things from Dr's surgeries and posters are being naive to think that it is such a leap.

sittingunderthetree · 25/09/2019 20:36

@Nuttyfellalovesnutella

there's better ways of saying it though.

he could have said, "I think you may have picked up my thermometer with those tissues" not an accusation to someone in a distressed anxious state.

Pinkyyy · 25/09/2019 20:36

Absolutely appalling behaviour. Especially given the reason you were there.

Ivechanged19 · 25/09/2019 20:37

I think the doctor reacted in a spur of the moment, hopefully he didn’t intend to make you feel bad but he’s probably run off his feet,maybe he’s had his thermometer stolen before and knew there was no more in their stock,there’s many a reason he may have reacted like that. He did apologise and I don’t I would take that further - you could ask to not see him in future if that makes things easier ? I hope you’re feeling better soon

Binglebong · 25/09/2019 20:41

Please put the complaint in writing or if in person follow it up with an email saying "following our meeting today can I confirm... Please confirm you agree with my summery.". These things have a habit of vanishing if there is no paper trail.

CharityConundrum · 25/09/2019 20:41

I'm sure it was an honest mistake, but when someone comes to you in tears because they are struggling with your mental health, you treat them appropriately, you don't go off at them and accuse them of stealing!

If he thought she had put it in her pocket, he could have said 'Sorry - did my thermometer get caught up in your tissue? I can't find it and I was sure it was on there.' or a million other more pleasant ways to address someone who you know might be acting irrationally or displaying unusual behaviour on account of they are asking you for help with their mental health!

SabineUndine · 25/09/2019 20:44

That's dreadful. Given that you are in the middle of a MH crisis, even if you had taken his thermometer, it would have been accidental. I do think you should complain.

WidowTwonky · 25/09/2019 20:47

Wow. Nice bedside manner Hmm

MrsEricBana · 25/09/2019 20:47

You are not being OTT at all. He handled it very badly. I definitely think you should contact the practice manager to explain what happened.