To be shit scared and ask what you’d do tonight

[RightYesButNo]

I really need some wisdom.

I’m sick. So fucking sick. So fucking sick of being sick also, but that’s not relevant at the moment.

I have a new treatment tomorrow. The intravenous version of it has given me aseptic meningitis (the really damn painful but not dangerous kind) three times (you would think the doctors would learn after the first or second time but desperate measures), so I can’t have it, and I really need it. So now they’re going to give me the subcutaneous version. I’m simultaneously terrified of: it not working when I REALLY need it to, something going wrong, the pain of getting it.

How do you not be scared in this situation? And if it was your last night before a treatment that could go wrong (just have a shit bad feeling about it, probably anxiety but I’m not generally anxious so I don’t know), what would you do?

I can’t go out as I’m having trouble breathing, which is why I need treatment, so what would you do at home? Only thing not an option is a dirty takeaway, as have to eat bland stuff pre-treatment.

Just wanted to thank everyone, and it went really well! No signs of the aseptic meningitis (my stomach is a bit sore from the needles, and I got nauseous last night but that’s all, so I feel VERY fortunate). Thank you again for my new list of things to watch and I hope things will keep going to smoothly now. And thank you for the offer to PM @CrazyDuchess, will do if I have questions! And all my best to @exWifebeginsAgainat46 - I hope things went as all right as possible for you

I'm glad, if that's the right word, To see your update I've been wondering how you were but didn't want to post in case it encouraged others to and you were too unwell to post.

Good update lass.

OP- glad to know things went smoothly. Good luck for further recovery.

@exWifebeginsAgainat46 - just wanted to say try not to worry too much. Have been in your shoes couple of years ago. Most likely it will be an ultrasound + aspiration. Hopefully the sonographer will be able to say how it's looking. My biopsy was inconclusive. But a lovely consultant met me later to say that I'd be fine & that if ever anything sinister surfaced in the future, then I only the affected half of thyroid can be removed. Infact even that can happen when needed & these are very slow cancers (if at all found malignant). But in vast majority of cases despite inconclusive biopsies nothing sinister emerges. Wishing you luck!