To be shit scared and ask what you’d do tonight

[RightYesButNo]

I really need some wisdom.

I’m sick. So fucking sick. So fucking sick of being sick also, but that’s not relevant at the moment.

I have a new treatment tomorrow. The intravenous version of it has given me aseptic meningitis (the really damn painful but not dangerous kind) three times (you would think the doctors would learn after the first or second time but desperate measures), so I can’t have it, and I really need it. So now they’re going to give me the subcutaneous version. I’m simultaneously terrified of: it not working when I REALLY need it to, something going wrong, the pain of getting it.

How do you not be scared in this situation? And if it was your last night before a treatment that could go wrong (just have a shit bad feeling about it, probably anxiety but I’m not generally anxious so I don’t know), what would you do?

I can’t go out as I’m having trouble breathing, which is why I need treatment, so what would you do at home? Only thing not an option is a dirty takeaway, as have to eat bland stuff pre-treatment.

I know it’s not the same situation, but I was on bed rest for 5 weeks in hospital when my waters broke at 24 weeks. It was hard and, obviously, I was terrified most of the time. The night before a big procedure, which would potentially save my baby, I struggled to relax.

I spent the whole day eating chocolate and watching funny stuff on tv continuously. Loads of episodes of friends, frasier, modern family, only fools and horses etc. I didn’t watch anything that could potentially put me in a worse mood. I just wanted something funny but also that didn’t have a week-to-week story line. The hospital staff were amazing and got me a fry up from the canteen downstairs. I just tried to stay positive and take my mind off everything as much as possible.

Even the next morning, I got up and watched a couple episodes of modern family right before my op. I helped calm me down massively

i’ve got an ultrasound and biopsy on my thyroid tomorrow, and i’ve just found an extra lump in my neck. i’m giving up on today, shortly. i’ve had my bedtime sleepy-making cup of herbal tea, and i’m going to take my meds and call it a day soon.

good luck for your treatment. i hope it’s not as horrible as you’re anticipating. being ill sucks donkey balls.

Just want to wish you good luck for tomorrow, OP. And I reckon Dementornator's suggestion of stuff to make you laugh, or not make your mood worse at all, is a really good idea.

If you havent watched it yet, Unforgotten is brilliant. Not super gory but fascinating stories.

Others to try:

• Waking the Dead
• Prime Suspect - the first one still stands up now despite being decades old.

Also take advantage of being able to eat unlimited glorious toast slathered in butter...

I know a slightly different genre but binge watching Downton Abbey is helping me ignore Brexit great escapism

Watch house on haunted hill!!! Excellent series. Otherwise I hope it all goes well.

I second downton, it makes you forget about everything! Good luck tomorrow OP

I recommend watching Glitch, now on season 3, it's riveting and will make you forget all of your worries. Good luck for tomorrow

I've a good idea how you're feeling and it's horrible.

Suggestion wise mine is Shakespeare and Hathaway which is on iplayer.

Hope everything goes well tomorrow OP
I love a bit of Vera when I'm in need of distracting that or forensic files or similar.

The good place on Netflix. Silly, short episodes and quite distracting without having to massively concentrate.

I’m looking all these up online and they all look so good! I’m trying out Rizzoli and Isles and if that’s too much, I’m going to give Agatha Raisin a try.

@tolerable Totally ok to not understand the clinical stuff! Sometimes I feel like I don’t understand it all, and it’s my life. I appreciate the best wishes - they make the difference.

@exWifebeginsAgainat46 I’m so, so sorry you’re facing that. I know thyroids and lymph nodes can by such arseholes and not just act as they should. Be kind to yourself and maybe some of these recommendations can help you, too? I know what you mean about just quitting for the day, I feel the same today, and I’m sending best wishes for your procedure tomorrow.

@Dementornator That sounds like it was so terrifying; good fucking grief. And you raise a really good point! I think I’ll probably download some funny non-week-to-week stuff for tomorrow, too, in case I feel like I can’t handle anything more than that. Really good idea. I hope everything worked out for you!

Ooh. I was coming on to suggest Elementary but I see a PP beat me to it. Johnny Lee Miller as Sherlock. Thoroughly enjoyable.

@RightYesButNo

I have also been diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis (years plus) pm me if you want to talk further - I've pretty much done most of the treatments xxx

I have no other suggestions apart from the fab ones here, just wanted to send you lots of good luck for tomorrow... this time tomorrow you will be all done and back watching the rest of the shows you don't get to finish tonight. Thinking of you x

I didn't recommend Agatha raisin as its not even remotely close to the Agatha raisin books. But then I'm that annoying bugger who notices things like that and, there's no fun whatsoever in watching it unless you watch it with an another annoying bugger and make a night of it with them.

My recommendation is also crime set in Stratford, modern day. Nothing serious. I use it for distraction when I need to.

Oh and good luck for tomorrow.

If you want to distract yourself when it comes to sleeping, have you tried the 'Sleep with me' podcast? I listen to it when my brain won't stop racing (nothing like what you are going through though) and it is really soothing and calming and I don't think I've ever got more than about 10 minutes in before drifting off.

You have been dealt such a shitty hand and you're clearly managing amazingly well in spite of being scared - I hope with all my heart that this treatment gives you some relief and that you find some new favourites amongst the recommendations here.

If you like psyche then definitely try Monk on prime. Have you watched breaking bad? If not give it a go, if you've watched it then watch it again...here's the trailer for the breaking bad film

It sounds like you've been through a terrible time, and it's completely understandable to be scared after what you've already been through. I hope you find something good to watch that allows some escape for a while

Start with Season 3 of Law & Order (when Jerry Orbach arrives) and keep watching for the next 15 seasons. Sending you good wishes for your treatment.

Grace and Frankie on Netflix is great. No massive drama, it just bimbles along nicely but you get to love the characters. It's not heavy at all so you won't have to concentrate on the storylines and is mostly set by the ocean (supposedly).

If you've read Meave Binchley books you'll love this.

Good luck for tomorrow, hope it all goes well for you. 💐

Thinking of you today lass.

Thinking of you.

Hoping it all goes as well as possible for you today. And still in awe at your good humour and strength.

Good luck today xx