to wonder if he is going to propose?

[acrylicaddict]

Been with my DP for 3 years in a very happy relationship, both early twenties. We are both settled in full time careers, saving for a deposit on a house, I am very much "in it for the long run" and he regularly tells me the same.

Today he surprised me on my lunch break at work and took me to a Cafe - he does this a few times a month so nothing unusual. But what was unusual was that after we finished our lunch, he asked if we could go to the antiques shop (not his cuppa tea, totally my cuppa tea).

While walking up the road, I asked if I could pop into the Post Office first but he was insistent on going into the antiques shop first, and when we were in there looking at the jewellery cabinets (the part I always head to first), he kept slipping in questions about what stones I like in rings, what colour bands I preferred, did I like the ones with diamonds, did I prefer the small stones.

After I had finished looking at the jewellery he didn't bother browsing the rest of the shop, didn't buy anything and was happy to leave.

AND NOW THIS HAS GOT ME THINKING

Is it coming? Or has he just taken an interest in my ring choices suddenly? Am I thinking too much into this? Have I got my hopes up?

Well if he's not planning to propose - with a carefully selected antique ring to your taste - i wonder what the hell he's up to!

Unless he's shopping for an antique ring for his DM or something and just wanted your opinion.

Sounds like yes to me!

I'm just wondering if I'm getting my hopes up and he's getting me an antique ring for Christmas (absolutely wouldn't complain), I would just love for him to pop the question

I continue to puzzle about the peoposal thing in this day and age. 1970 feminism coming out sorry. I just mean deciding to marry is a marvellous joint decision

It sounds like he is :)
Unless there's a special occasion coming up such as your birthday?

I've been heading for the ring cabinets in the antiques shop with my DP as a hint but I don't think he's getting it 😞

Could well be, if so he's not being very subtle Otherwise he's possibly thinking of just treating to a nice ring, or planning your Christmas present perhaps?

Blatant placemark for proposal build up

Sorry to drip feed but it has only just occurred to me that this might be relevant, he is taking me on holiday in December to somewhere that could be considered very romantic, he told me about this trip earlier this month but it has only just crossed my mind that it might be to do with the ring? AHHH PLEASE TELL ME IABU I am thinking so far into this hahaha

OP its lovely to hear but dont ruin your own surprise ! Stop thinking about it as much as its exciting ! Cant wait to hear updates in the future x

You sound like someone in a 1950s film.
Why don't you propose to him?

Ahhhh I hope you're right OP! It all sounds so romantic.

And gosh @Limensoda let's not steal the poor guy's thunder

@limensoda He is very traditional and chivalrous, he enjoys the "gentlemanly" holding my umbrella for me, standing on the outside of the pavement, always letting me go through doorways first. It's how he was when I met him, he always will be this way, it's one of the things I adore about him and while I would be more than happy to propose to him, I feel he wants to be the one to do it! He's mentioned it in the past and I wouldn't want to ruin it for him if he was thinking of doing it.

I hope you're right OP, and if not - propose to him!

My DH did almost exactly what you described, so I carefully slipped into conversation that I wanted my grandmother's engagement ring to be my engagement ring (and that my mum has it) a few days later. We had already talked about getting married to a "we will get married" level of certainty (so I suppose to some we had already 'decided' to get married so I guess were engaged), but because I plan everything usually crippling anxiety so plan everything to the nth degree, he wanted the chance to surprise me and plan something really romantic/special. He didn't propose for almost 9 months after the initial ring conversation though for me OP, so keep that in mind!

@pregnantncnc Oooh well done for slipping that into the conversation! We have already spoken about marriage and have basically decided that we will get married one day. I couldn't imagine spending my life without him.

Well I assume you have discussed your future together and made an approximate timeline. So if this adds up to it then it's very likely 😊

Someone always chimes up with 'Why don't you propose to him, it's not the 1950s?' Fuck that, why not just talk to him? 'What were you doing in that shop?' Have you not made it clear that marriage is a necessary for you? Why do so many adults not discuss marriage in detail if their relationship is heading in that direction and get stuck on frivolities like rings and proposals, then say 'yes' to some silly proposal because it's romantic and don't spend enough time on the nuts and bolts of what will be the marriage? Or worse, keep schtum whilst shacking up with someone and washing their socks and popping out sprogs for him but then getting upset when he doesn't do the ol' ring with a proposal rigamarole.

timshelthechoice

hear hear.

Sorry OP, he sounds lovely and you sound well matched and happy and I don't want to sound cynical.

But why are we talking about the proposal and the ring when the thing you want to be talking about is the marriage?

There was another thread on there today about someone wanting a ring... sigh.... why are we all still talking like this?

Ask him what he was doing looking at jewellery. Tell him you want to get married. Take some agency over the situation.

@timshelthechoice If you read my above replies you would see that I have already spoken to him about marriage, we both know exactly what we want with each other in the future and have discussed this in detail. I also know that it is him that wants to propose. If he is going to surprise me, I don't want to hound him into a corner where he may or may not have to admit to something he wanted to keep a secret, I just wanted to see what other MNers thought. Your comment seems unnecessary harsh, especially the last sentence.

@timshelthechoice Please read my replies before posting, we have spoken about marriage.

Oooooh!! Sounds like it OP but don’t overthink it. It’ll happen when the time is right and wouldn’t you want it to be a delightful surprise?

OP is allowed to hope for whatever she wants, it doesn't have to turn into a tedious debate or lecture. Yawn to that.
Well if you want that op, I hope it goes the way you'd like my partner dropped too many hints I knew it was coming lol. It was still brilliant

@Sux2buthen I agree! We are traditional as a couple, we love it that way and it works perfectly for us - why fix something that isn't broken? We have spoken about marriage at length but I know that he is the one who wants to propose and he loves surprises, why ruin it for him by asking exactly why he was in the shop and push him into a corner? I came for opinions not bloody life advice

Haha that's really sweet! Some people aren't the best at keeping secrets, haha

Yes, marriage 'one day' is definitely having discussed it in detail . Hope he chimes up with it then one day. Whatever.

@timshelthechoice Why are you being so negative? We have discussed it in detail on several occasions, but please do forgive me for not wishing to share all of the details with a stranger on the internet. But thank you, I do too

I would honestly try not to think too much into it. If he doesn't propose while you're on holiday or at Christmas you will be incredibly disappointed and it could ruin it. I know a couple that split up over a situation like this because she was so disappointed and things just escalated from there