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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for your lightbulb moments in the early years of parenthood?

121 replies

HennyPennyHorror · 25/09/2019 01:34

Mine was when my older sister told me "Put that baby in her room now...stop leaving her in her moses basket in the sitting room all night"

I, like many others I'm sure, had been keeping her in the sitting room with DH and I all evening. Fine when she was just tiny but by this point she was coming up for 3 months.

It was like a breath of fresh air to realise I could put her to bed with her monitor in our room. We could be alone.

My sister's was when she was weaning her twins and would prepare a bowl of food for them each...and two spoons. Then she'd go back and to between the bowls and the twins.

Another twin Mum called round and said "Just put two servings in one bowl...and have one spoon"

And she did...obviously when they were feeding themselves they had a bowl or plate each but those frantic mealtimes calmed down a bit for her!

OP posts:

HolyGuac · 26/09/2019 23:16

To put the bowl or plate I was using for the child's food portion in the freezer while I cooked the dinner, the super hot just cooked food cooled much quicker on the cold plate and meant no blowing for ten minutes to get it to a reasonable temp while baby / toddler screams for the food.

Another was leaving cereal, bowls and spoons out for my five year old and a small bottle of milk on the bottom shelf of the fridge so on the weekend he could come downstairs and make his own cereal while I juggled my newborn who wanted feeding at 5:30 just like my five year old.

SilverChime · 26/09/2019 23:23

Some of these “lightbulb moments” actually contradict NHS guidelines. It’s not a revelation to put a 3mo in their own room. It’s an unnecessary risk because it increases the chance of SIDS.

SnugglySnerd · 27/09/2019 07:21

Holyguac that's a brilliant idea with putting plates etc in the freezer. Why had I never thought of that?!
They should really print a list of these useful things like frills on nappies and vest pulling downwards for the health visitor to give out!

IdiotInDisguise · 27/09/2019 07:21

Some of these “lightbulb moments” actually contradict NHS guidelines. It’s not a revelation to put a 3mo in their own room. It’s an unnecessary risk because it increases the chance of SIDS.

I would really like to see such NHS guidelines. Could you please link? I doubt they exist as NHS guidelines. As far as I remember, what they suggested was to avoid co sleeping when too tired, vaccinate your kids but had no mention on where you want to place a cot.

TheRedFox · 27/09/2019 07:27

@IdiotInDisguise

Here is the guidance on how to reduce the risk of SIDS:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/reducing-risk-cot-death/

"Place your baby on their back to sleep, in a cot in the same room as you, for the first 6 months"

"The safest place for your baby to sleep for the first 6 months is in a cot in the same room as you"

FartnissEverbeans · 27/09/2019 07:40

When my son was about five months old my sister told me to bottle feed him every three hours instead of on-demand as we had been doing. It was life changing! He immediately started sleeping and planning our day was so much easier.

BikeRunSki · 27/09/2019 10:40

That actually, my sensible 9 year old would be fine if I left him for 5-10 mins whilst I took his sister to her friends house down the road.

IronicalCallSign · 27/09/2019 12:24

These are really helpful... The shoulder/vest thing is a revelation!!!

Why didn't anyone mention it during antenatal classes in the adequate clothing/temperature topic!!

quety · 27/09/2019 13:28

That I don't ever have to leave him to cry himself to sleep!

This was my first baby, just a couple of weeks old, and I had a sense of dread that I'd have to start the sleep-training/routines etc.

When I learnt you can just trust your instincts and go with the flow (feeding/cuddling baby to sleep etc) it transformed the rest of my parenting journey.

4 children and 13 years later and this is always what I did.

Thebig3 · 27/09/2019 14:09

Mine was that I used to feed every 3hrs during the day, I would wake for a feed during the day. But then never wake at night and just wait for them to wake. I found that it worked better as I'd much rather they fed regularly over the day than every hour during the night!

Also a dummy is not awful and can really help settle a baby at the beginning and give you a break!

Then when they are a bit older, TV is not gonna ruin them! Sometimes it's great to allow downtime for everyone!

zazzyzaz · 27/09/2019 14:33

When dressing a newborn be really firm with the clothing: guide the clothes around the baby rather than the other way around. We had been trying to wrestle the flailing limbs of a screaming baby into an outfit without hurting him.

user1573354 · 27/09/2019 14:38

Mine was the total opposite of yours. My sister said 'you can't spoil a baby with love' when I was worried about her needing to be held all evening long. The advice to have babies in the same room as you for all sleep is for a minimum of 6 months, is because it reduces SIDS. Babies sleep too deeply on their own in their own room, and it can be dangerous. I'm worried your advice might encourage someone else to do the same and them not know why it is against guidelines so just throwing that out there.

Vole3 · 27/09/2019 14:42

That you can slide an envelope neck vest down their body rather than try to avoid getting poop on their head lifting it over them after a poonami

moobar · 27/09/2019 14:49

DD got given lots of lovely dresses with matching pants which I haven't been using now she is crawling.

My nan told me to put the frilly pants over the tights then tuck the dress up and in and the front when she's down crawling. It's like a new wardrobe!

EssentialHummus · 27/09/2019 14:49

That room temperature meals are fine - you may not like tepid spag bol, but your toddler will likely not be bothered.

That it's all just a phase, good and bad.

That if your toddler likes a bit of TV, flights will be a lot easier.

EssentialHummus · 27/09/2019 14:54

Oh, and it's fine to go to bed at 7pm if you're knackered and the baby's finally down. We got into a routine with DD where I'd go to bed at 8pm, DH would give her a bottle when she woke up at 10pm or so, then I'd wake for the 2am feed - those six straight hours of sleep were glorious.

burritofan · 27/09/2019 14:57

@moobar OMG that is genius!

Witsendagain · 27/09/2019 17:06

I have 2:

you are never going to please everyone with how you choose to parent/ sleep/ feed/ correct - so don't try! Find what works for you and stick to it, you are going to get judged anyway so you may as well be judged about your own choices! Also it's ok to use the phrase ODFOD!
another vest one... During a nappy change lift the 'tails' of the vest and do the poppers up over the shoulder - keeps it, and any tops/jumpers, up out of the way! This comes into its own when your 7month old will only do standing nappy changes!

thecatinthetwat · 27/09/2019 17:35

Baby boys can wear tights under their trousers. It keeps their legs warm and you're not constantly looking for socks

Here’s another.. baby boys can wear tights (the end). Mine both did.

Mine is that no one will even know who rode a bike first or whatever else, it doesn’t matter.

IdiotInDisguise · 28/09/2019 08:28

Mine did to, made such a difference!

stayathomer · 30/09/2019 10:33

Mine was to bring a shoulder bag when you're going up or down with what you need so you don't make a million trips,

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