To ask for your lightbulb moments in the early years of parenthood?

[HennyPennyHorror]

Mine was when my older sister told me "Put that baby in her room now...stop leaving her in her moses basket in the sitting room all night"

I, like many others I'm sure, had been keeping her in the sitting room with DH and I all evening. Fine when she was just tiny but by this point she was coming up for 3 months.

It was like a breath of fresh air to realise I could put her to bed with her monitor in our room. We could be alone.

My sister's was when she was weaning her twins and would prepare a bowl of food for them each...and two spoons. Then she'd go back and to between the bowls and the twins.

Another twin Mum called round and said "Just put two servings in one bowl...and have one spoon"

And she did...obviously when they were feeding themselves they had a bowl or plate each but those frantic mealtimes calmed down a bit for her!

Bottle feeding. We followed the instructions on the tin religiously so a 0 - 3 month old = 4oz feeds for example. I remember my mum noticing our son was draining his bottle dry so she suggested we make up larger feeds it had never occurred to us! We were so focused on doing it right, following the instructions on the tin that we didn’t think that or DS actually might require more than what it said on the tin! We were so worried about over feeding for some reason. At which point my mum pointed out that you can’t over feed a baby, that they just eat what they need.

Almost from the beginning, my DS was bottle fed - we never ever warmed up the milk too much. We got him used to drinking not quite lukewarm formula - room temp. He loved it and we never had any issues with waiting for overheated milk to cool down while he screamed in the background!!

Classes for babies are bollocks. They don't care if you waft a pink feather in front of their face. They're just as happy discovering something as incredible as the tv remote or a shoe. You don't have to kill your self dragging babies out and about to things. It makes NO difference.

Ha ha Tayto I agree! Both mine were about those sorts of classes. They were happiest with me and DH or their cousins and grandparents. They learned way more just being with family. playing in the garden and park.

Namaste same! Ha ha I always felt quite smug about that I'm afraid.

@HennyPennyHorror yes they love being at home and with family! Despite knowing this with my toddler I still feel we should be out and about at every available opportunity but that's more about spending time outside and getting fresh air as our gardens a bit crap. If I had my time again with him as a baby I wouldn't do anything but watch box sets and sleep

(Toddler age)
If he doesn't want to wear his coat/hat/gloves/jumper it doesn't matter. I will bring them and he will wear them if he's cold. Absolutely no need for the battle and ensuing tantrum.

He is now a teen, he is never cold. Wears shorts all year round. A light jacket in midwinter.

Followed the same idea with his siblings. They wore warm clothes far more happily, but still never felt the cold like I do. Except youngest who will wrap up warm like I do.

Bribery

That you’re allowed to actually enjoy looking after a baby and toddler. So I could actually do things I liked and just bring them along - country walks, beach, making sure we go somewhere nice for a cup of tea and a biscuit as well.

And having me enjoy myself seemed to make them enjoy it all more too.

Before this I had this idea that this was now “work” and I should be working at it and not find it particularly pleasurable and then I thought, bugger that. It came to me one day when a group of us were at a friends house, in the swimming pool, and I was like “oh, I’m allowed to actually have fun!”

When friend told me about dreamfeeding. Basically, when I went to bed, I would give ds a bottle in his sleep and, even though he was breastfed, he would take it. Those extra 2-3 hours sleep made a massive difference to my quality of life!

Also with ds2, I realised it was not necessary to treat him like a little emperor that I constantly orbit, assessing moods/needs, and providing for every whim. Which is pretty much what I did with ds1 - exhausting. Ds2 was much happier to be lugged about and to fit in with my day.

I felt so much better when I stopped listening to the advice of MIL and DM and realised they knew sweet FA about babies anymore. They had raised their own but lacked any common sense with DD which gave me the confidence to find my own way and do what felt natural for us both. The more people say they know everything about babies the less helpful guidance they seem to be able to give!

To pull out the frills around the legs. We went through a few nappies and outfits before that one dawned.

I love this thread!

Anything other than sleepsuits before 5 months is pointless.

Spoonfeeding and purée is an epic waste of time- BLW all the way.

Reusable wipes- actually clean up loads easier than normal wipes, cheaper and much more environmentally friendly.

If your baby cries in public it’s not the end of the world.

Two tops when breastfeeding, and once again no one cares so feed anywhere and everywhere you need to.

It’s okay not to leave the house if it’s more stress than it’s worth.

Lower your standards and get off social media.

To pull out the frills around the legs. We went through a few nappies and outfits before that one dawned.

Omg yes. Took us 5 months to realise this after DD pooping through every outfit. Can’t believe how clueless we were thinking how rubbish pampers nappies are.

Also the fact you can fold it up into a neat little poop parcel ready for the bin.

The thing about the vests being able to go down over the shoulders. Amazing.

I put my son in girls tights from Primark last winter before he was mobile. He was always snuggly warm and his genitals are still happily intact.

I think another one was reading that a baby/child can be funny about food but they aren't going to starve themselves. Helped me chill out a lot about my son's eating, I don't push him to finish his food.

Measuring out the correct number of formula scoops into a pot before we went to bed, so when we were making up bottles in the night you didn't have to concentrate on how many scoops we put in

That I’d spoon feeding is a nightmare and becoming stressful just give them their food on the high chair to eat themselves even as early as 8-9 months. I was starting to dread dinner time then started just putting whatever I’d cooked on the high chair and DD and I were so much happier. Also give them their main meal at lunch time if dinner time is stressful when everyone is tired.

That it’s good for them and you for them to have some time playing by themselves each day.

And the line “everything passes” got me through some awful phases and reminded me to enjoy the nice bits although sorry I never managed the treasure the newborn sleep deprived days with my first DD.

Mine took me until DS2 but there’s no need to get out of bed to change middle of the night nappies if you’re otherwise bf and cosleeping - I just took a towel to lie him on in case of leakage, a few nappies and a pack of wipes and some hand gel by the bed and you’re sorted. DS1 we’d get out of bed after each feed, turn the big light on, go to the changing mat and go full on, both waking DS1 up and making us feel even more tired!

That babies sleep and settle better when they go down before they’re tired.

Probably obvious to loads of people but that was one for me 😆

That vests can go down as well as up! Dealt with so many poo explosions getting the vest carefully up over DS's head. He was about 5 months old when I realised

Oh and also baths every night really help sleep and routine. Dark rooms last a certain time too. We wondered why our colicky screaming overtired baby wouldn’t sleep when we had the lights on constantly and were frantically rocking her to sleep.

Not changing wet nappies until it’s absolutely saturated! Doesn’t bother them as nappies are so absorbent. We too were waking DD up in the night changing her whenever we saw a tiniest bit of blue on that nappy.