To ask how to clean my house

[SneakySnackySquirrel]

Right. So this is embarrassing. Be kind.

I FINALLY feel like I'm almost on top of keeping the house tidy. I'm only 41.

But it has emphasised how dirty it is. The house needs a lot of work so some rooms would look grotty even if they were cleaned to within an inch of their life. But the whole house is kind of grim. I don't where to start. I cleaned the downstairs windows the other day. It took all afternoon and within 30 mins of finishing one, it was covered in cat paw prints and my husband wouldn't clean a bit I couldn't reach on another one so I was deflated and just couldn't find the energy to do anything else.

My husband doesn't pull his weight. I don't know whether it's worth the hassle fighting with him over and over again because nothing changes. If I wait for him to do something, it never gets done and ends up knocking everything else off. Plus, that whole mental load thing, it's easier for me if I just do it. Although I do resent it and it's setting up a rubbish message for my daughter.

I'll dust and half an hour later it's dusty again.

We can't afford a cleaner.

2 bed house, just 3 of us and a cat. I work full time. Flylady just infuriated me.

I just don't know how to do it.

Try Team Tomm. I don't follow it religiously but it's a guide to keeping your house clean with 30 minutes a day Monday to Friday (weekends off!).

I think this is greater than just dust. You say the whole house is grim? Can you do a basic clean every week around the house and pick one specific room in the house to then focus on?

And by focus on I don't mean just deep clean, but get it not grim. And pick a room you want to enjoy being in. So, say it's the lounge. Make a snagging list of all the jobs needed in that room. Does it need redecorating? Even just a repaint of the woodwork can freshen it up. Does it need new curtains or artwork or some soft furnishings? Have it as a project and pour some love into that room. Make it not grim. You will find as the room improves, it will become easier to clean.

And in the meantime stop doing any thing to help dh (his laundry etc) as he sounds like he has no interest in helping you.

Another vote for team tomm. On Facebook and Instagram and her blog plus she has a book out too which is great

@Scienceforthewinin I'll look up Team Tomm. Thank you. Is it like a checklist and when to do it?

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz I've mostly got the hang of tidying. Generally because like you said, going through the rooms at the end of the day and sorting it. It's a small house so as long as I do this daily it doesn't get too bad.

We've just had to pay for roof repairs so even a couple of pots of paint is too much right now financially and mentally. Plus, many of the rooms are more than a pot of paint.

The issue is as well, I don't know how to get it "not grim". Like I said, I do a job and it makes no difference.

I have cut down what I do for my husband but I'm not going to through the laundry basket pulling out his pants because that is more work for me and it'll just result in a pile of dirty pants sitting wherever until he decides he has run out of clothes and hogs the washing machine and drivers for 2 days.

TOMM is brilliant! Honestly! Give it a go.

Hopefully, once you feel more in control, you can start thinking about how you feel about spending the rest of your life with your dh.

Get a cleaner as a one off to blitz so that everything is clean to start with. Then it’s much easier to maintain

TOMM it is then. Thank you.

@Lara53 had a row with my husband last week. I want to get someone in to scrub the oven as it's pretty bad. I want to get it into a good state so I can just maintain it. He went on about how it's easy and won't take long. I told him he either cleans it or we get someone in because I won't be doing it. Lots of huffing from him. I asked him a few days later when I was doing the shopping if he wanted me to get him anything to clean the oven with. Cue big sulk and moaning about finances and how it's easy. I pointed out that he has never cleaned an oven in his life so wouldn't have a clue. I made it clear I will be getting someone in to do it. He is not a happy man.

I can't face a conversation about getting a cleaner for the whole house! Plus, although I get the reasoning, I don't think it would help long term. I know how to keep an oven clean, I don't know how to keep the house clean.

@Thehop tbh I am genuingely starting to wonder sometimes. :( :( :(

Could you maybe save up and get someone in to do a deep clean as a one off? Then it would be much easier for you to maintain.

Getting rid of your selfish, lazy shit of a husband would also reduce the amount of tidying and cleaning you’d have to do.

Could also do with some tips so just had a look at Team Tomm; I'm already terrified. Things like 'I do clean the toilet daily though'. Who has time to do that?

Have a look at Unfuck Your Habitat - they have cleaning checklists, unfucking guides and motivation - they even have an app. I bloody love UFYH (they may have changed the name to something more "family friendly" but I refuse to acknowledge it)

Alternatively How To Clean Your House by Aggie (of Kim and Aggie fame) has some nice basics in it including checklists and how to guides (you can get it off Amazon).

Honestly though if it's at all possible pay for a one off deep clean (if you're super serious get an end of tenancy one, they are intense) to give you a blank slate or you're on for an uphill climb.

Good luck from someone who also has excellent cleaning intentions and very little knowledge but ultimately decided it was all too much work after researching and pays a cleaner each week .

At least I know how to clean in theory...

And if in doubt shove mess under the bed and spray as much febreeze as possible. The pet kind smells amazing and makes the place feel instantly cleaner as soon as you spray it!

I think you have to do a biggish clean and then be able to maintain it. A good declutter helps - less stuff to put away!

I would pick three things that need to be done daily to keep on top of things - for me that's clean the kitchen counters, a load of washing (I hate laundry) brush floors.

Re oven - I found "oven brite" really good - it's in a box and you can get it in most places and b and m do it for about three quid. It comes with a massive plastic bag to shove your oven shelves in and then you cover them in the liquid. Paint the liquid on the floor of your oven too. Leave for a while and rinse off. It's pretty good for little effort. I would then get a silicone mat to put on the floor of the oven. I got one in Poundland I think.

I think you need to have a word with your husband though. With two of you cleaning you'd get so much more done.

We do a ‘deep clean’ on one room every day Mon-Sat, rotating.. this includes dusting/cleaning windows, skirts, thorough sweep/mop or hoover, pulling sofa out, wiping kitchen cupboards etc. It takes 30 minutes ish when you have a good starting point.

In addition to this we do washing dishes and laundry and a 15 minute whizz round tidy daily. I reckon it’s probably 2 hours a day of housework between us and the house is always spotless.

On a Sunday we always try and get one ‘one off’ job done. Last week was putting up some new pictures. Other Sundays it’s cleaning the oven or sorting an untidy cupboard.

I tend to do mine every couple of weeks 'properly' and other times it's just dusting, hoovering and mopping.

When I do it properly I:
clear the kitchen sides and wash down with flash or detail
wash window sills
do the paintwork with flash, pull out furniture, do behind the telly etc
I hoover under the bed by getting the extension hose and reaching it to all the areas covered by the bed
clean the top of the wardrobe
clean the windows with mr muscle spray
do the tops of the doors and frames
clean glass/mirrors
I hate cleaning my wooden slat blinds so often leave them until they drive me mad or when the sun comes out to show all the dust
I was candle holders and ornaments that can be washed
wash out toothbrush cup and soap dish

I only clean cupboards and drawers out when I can be bothered
same for fridge
oven not been touched in 12 months but it's not dirty but could do with a clean

I live alone though, so things don't get so bad!
I don't iron and my clothes folding is grim

Plus, although I get the reasoning, I don't think it would help long term. I know how to keep an oven clean, I don't know how to keep the house clean.

But you do! It's the same as tidying - once it is initially clean (or tidy), then the dirt (or misplaced items/clutter) stands out, and only takes a minute to wipe up/dust down (or put away).

It's the terrible takes-forever-to-get-nowhere feeling that saps you, like the window cleaning effort.

If everything STARTED clean, you can KEEP it clean easily.

Also, tell your DH to fuck off and just get a cleaner in off your own bat. Seriously. Why should he get a say? Don't discuss it, just do it.

TOMM says do a bit at a time, every day. But even that says start with a bootcamp clean/deep clean.

I reckon the whole house deep clean would be WAY more transformative to you, and your habits, than the oven clean, if you measured it £ for £.

DO NOT DISCUSS IT WITH YOUR DH.

Things like 'I do clean the toilet daily though'. Who has time to do that?

That's literally just a minute's work, though?

Stick toilet cleaner round rim. Scrub with toilet brush. Flush. Spray multipurpose cleaner round seat/handle/outside. Wipe with toilet paper. Flush.

Savers do an oven cleaning product-oven pride or something
It’s so easy even my step daughter can use it and my oven gleams after
It’s about £2 (I always buy two boxes and stick the oven trays in the bag too)
It’s fantastic stuff

Sounds like your problem is your husband.

Adding my love for oven pride. You hung your shelves in a giant plastic bag and squirt the stuff in, slop some more of it around the oven and leave it all overnight. Next day, soapy water, rubber gloves and a scouter sponge and all the sludge just wipes away.

Dust - get a feather duster stick and dust your ceilings/high up on walls, if you're dusting then it's bad 30 mins later - it's because the dust is falling from higher up.

Air the place every day, all the windows open for a bit really helps.

Throw the hoover round as much as possible - especially if you have a pet.
Ditto mopping.

Wash any removable cushion covers, hoover the couch under the big cushions.

Choose the room you're in the most then make a checklist for an initial clean. It will take far less time than you think once you get started. Stick some music on and start from the top ( literally)

Oh and your DH is being s selfish tit. I'd do the oven bags then tell him he needs to do step B or not be able to eat hot food until he does

Good Lord, autocorrect has it in for me tonight!

Honestly I struggled with cleaning until I Marie Kondoed my house to within an inch of its life. It's so much easier to find the motivation to clean when the room is tidy and clutter free, and fewer knick-knacks etc means less of a dust trap. You don't need to follow her instructions to the letter, just use her mantra of 'Does it spark joy?' and assess your things one by one. For me I mentally rate things out of 10 - if I love/need it more than 8/10 its a definite keep, 5 - 7/10 it's a keep for now and reassess regularly, less than 5 and it goes.

Can your kitty be kept downstairs only? That'll minimise fur shed upstairs at least.

Get a stick vacuum. I love my Dyson V6 because the battery dies after 6 minutes. I don't feel the old inertia to get started with the vacuuming because I know it'll be 6 minutes maximum before I can slob out with my laptop again. Ironically this means I vacuum a lot more, and it's so much easier to maneuver than a blooming great machine.

Damp dusting is more effective than dry. I use furniture polish when I dust wooden tables/dressers/shelves because that's killing 2 birds with one stone.

Can you pinpoint what the 'grime' is? Stained carpets? Mould on the walls? Faded curtains? Dust bunnies?

Both me and my partner clean and we have a cleaner every couple of weeks.

I have found that unless the person you live with also cleans, then things get pretty grim.

Your husband seems to think this is your job and it’s easy.

He won’t do it though.

I find that with the cleaner maintaining things I can find other jobs to do - such as cleaning the walls and the window sills.

Vacuuming gets done almost every day,

But the biggest thing you need to do is declutter and your husband needs to do more around the house.

The paint idea was a good one. I know money is tight, but is there any way you can write a jobs list where you budget for paint and materials and start the project in a few months? The very first step is filling holes and sanding - the prep work takes ages. Then you start putting the under coat on before you go anywhere near the expensive paint. It takes ages to dry so will take months to get finished.

@NotStayingIn

You asked who has time to clean the toilet every day?

I clean the toilet at mine most days. Just the bowl and then a wipe down. I’ll wipe surfaces of the cistern.

Dust accumulates if you don’t do this regularly.

I find it gross - 3 people using 1 toilet and not one of them cleans it every day as really gross.

You put bleach in it once a day or every second day. Then you scrub it. It takes no time at all.

If you keep antibacterial spray in there, spray the major surfaces and wipe off with toilet paper. It’s done. It’s not even a 5 minute job.

If your walls are looking a bit grim and you can't afford to paint them then get some sugar soap and wash them. Sugar soap is amazing for walls and doesn't need to be rinsed off. Any time I do this I marvel at how dirty my walls must have been because of the difference it makes. Make sure you wear gloves though as its strong stuff. It's often used to clean walls before painting.

Try also a book “The magic of tidying up” - I found it very inspirational and it helped me to get rid of lots of stuff that added to the mess in my flat.

Sorry did not notice FurrySlipperBoots’ post - this was the method described in that book