AIBU or is this rude?

[Sorryfofty]

I'm in a group chat with the work girls. 10 of us in it. I wrote in it and asking if anyone knew what happened to someone who was let go today. All read it but no one has replied. AIBU to have been ignored. This isnt the only time i've been ignored. I also have a feeling there is another group chat which i am not included in.

Yeah prehaps they don't want to say incase it was someone in chat (do you know its not someone in the chat)? Or be seen saying who it was, as I personally see that as a bit gossipy.

YABU. You were engaging in gossip .

YABU, it is absolutely none of your business.

Beak out.

Why is all gossiping considered soooo bad?

Isnt that essentially what these forums are?

If someone^s behaviour towards you is offensive, don't you talk to your friends about it? I thought everyone gossips sometimes.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/social-cures/201711/why-gossiping-is-not-all-bad%3famp

Maybe it's because they know you're next, lolol

Gossiping is normal apart from in the weird parallel universe of mumsnet where even wondering internally what might have happened to your colleague is out of order.

The ideal MNetter doesn’t even think bad thoughts let alone voice them because that is very very naughty! Must maintain the moral high ground at all times!

Serious note: yes I imagine they didn’t want to be drawn into a discussion on a work phone in text form. As others have said I would ask someone you trust face to face.

all i asked is if anyone knew what happened

I've known 3 people at my work who were "let go". In every case, the only people who knew exactly what happened were them, their line manager and HR, and they all kept their mouths shut, because they behaved professionally. Nothing leaked.

If you're supposed to know, you'll be told officially. Otherwise - butt out and pay attention to your own job. annoying though it is to be left hanging

It could be that they are part of an internal investigation if they have made complaints, so can't comment.

This is probably it. If their complaints were instrumental to this colleague’s dismissal, they’ve probably been told not to discuss it. What if he sues for unfair dismissal and they’ve written to all and sundry about it?

Anyone who does know, has probably been told it's confidential. I'd be horrified if someone asked me about something like that on social media.

OP, you sound unprofessional, and they sound smart.

‘Work’ group chats aren’t private group chats, anything said in a work group chat can still be used against you. All it takes is someone sending a screenshot to HR. It makes perfect sense to be careful what you post in these chats/what you say to colleagues, hence why you got ignored as others found your message inappropriate.

Also your colleagues are not your friends! So no point getting worked up over being ignored in the group chat regardless of content. They probably are discussing things between themselves, again colleagues are not your friends.

What ICouldBeSomeoneYouKnow said

Wow, kinda rude of you op

@Sorryfofty
Perhaps there is a list of people being "let go" and you are the next one on it.

I’d say lesson learned here. You posted something on WA, it was ignored and you didn’t like that. So don’t post this sort of thing there again. I don’t mean because if its specific content (although can see why people might feel uncomfortable replying re person let go), but because it’s not necessary to allow WA to stress you out.

I wouldn't engage with you about it on the internet either. There is no taking it back once it's out there. I think its mean no matter the circumstances to have a big group chat about someone who no doubt is struggling right now.

Not sure if I've missed something here but if you work with these people is it not possible to just have a conversation with them and ask discreetly if you are worried about your colleague who has lost his job? Presumably you see them every day and don't have to resort to messaging? Although I imagine it was out of hours when you asked.

Yes, it’s rude to not respond.

I've worked for very reactive organisations in the past healthcare is such fun. They will clamp down on any and every communication and they will tell people not to discuss this at all. That includes responding "I don't know". Once one person has been shown the door everyone is basically feeling the fear because you have bills to pay, depend on the job and depend on a reference that doesn't say you were sacked. So it might seem rude not to respond but honestly they might have been fearful of what would happen if they did. And you can pooh-pooh that idea as much as you like but I've been through it. It's godawful.