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AIBU?

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Original poster

If I mentioned this?

42 replies

HeartDay · 23/09/2019 17:35

Name changed for this as I'm pretty sure my friends are on here and if they ready my pp they would know me.

Today I got my DS'S (15, 16 in December) wallet to put some money in as he needed it for the rest of the week for the bus, lunches and drinks etc. And I saw that there were 3 or 4 condoms in it.

As far as I know he doesn't have a girlfriend. And they were in a pocket he probably thought I wouldn't look.

What should I do?

OP posts:
MediocreOmens · 23/09/2019 17:37

You should stop looking in your child's wallet and be pleased he is practicing safe sex. Next time leave the money on the kitchen side, no need to go through his wallet.

instaglum · 23/09/2019 17:40

I'd probably ask him if he's having sex at an appropriate moment.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/09/2019 17:40

You should mind your own business and stay out of his wallet.

Bunnybigears · 23/09/2019 17:42

I would do nothing and silently praise myself for having raised a boy who carries condoms with him.

Amys136 · 23/09/2019 17:42

When I was that age we all carried condoms in our purses. Non of us were having sex. It was just the cool thing to do

ghostyslovesheets · 23/09/2019 17:44

be glad his mum raised him to be sensible and use condoms, put them back - say nothing

seaweedandmarchingbands · 23/09/2019 17:45

As he is so near sixteen I would just put it out of my head.

inwood · 23/09/2019 17:45

The 'cool' kids at school had condoms in their wallets. It was to make it look like they were having sex, most of them hadn't even had a snog. I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 23/09/2019 17:46

Be proud that you raised a young man who is sensible enough to have condoms in his wallet. It doesn't necessarily mean he is already sexually active, he might be keeping them in there just in case, which would be very sensible. Don't embarrass him by bringing it up, just be glad he's being safe and sensible.

Sadiesnakes · 23/09/2019 17:48

Eh? Why shouldn't she look in her child's wallet?

The advice on here recently is getting ridiculous.Hmm

Original poster
HeartDay · 23/09/2019 17:50

I was looking in his wallet as I was checking if he had money so I'd know how much to give him. And he knows I do.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 23/09/2019 17:52

Has he had a sex ed class? They hand them out then. I wouldn't assume he's having sex.

italianfiat · 23/09/2019 17:52

Presuming you have had the usually talks about sex, consent etc then recognise he has condoms so has listened to you?

If you haven't spoken to him at all about sex and relationships it's probably too late to suddenly jump in based on finding condoms, so again, recognise that he has condoms so is being careful?

Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav · 23/09/2019 17:52

They may have been given out at school during a sex Ed lesson?

Runkle · 23/09/2019 17:53

Could he have got them for free from school or something? I'd be glad he had them tbh.

FadedRed · 23/09/2019 17:56

Check the expiry dates, put them back, say nowt.

boujie · 23/09/2019 17:57

By this time I assume / hope you've had many conversations about safe sex, respect, consent, porn, relationships etc, in which case I say leave him to it and be glad he's using condoms.

If you haven't had those conversations then you need to crack on but it's very late in the day. Don't tell him you saw condoms in his wallet. Just frame it as a more general discussion.

Cheeseandwin5 · 23/09/2019 17:57

I would bring up the subject generally, but just so he feels he can talk and trust you. I am not sure what you want to do with snooping in his wallet though, you will only drive him away

CherryPavlova · 23/09/2019 17:58

You should have a conversation about legalities of sex particularly with children under sixteen years of age.
You should be pleased he may have considered contraception but just as likely to be from a C Card dare with his friends or for filling with water and hurling off car park roofs.
He needs to understand casual sex has consequences and that whilst legal at sixteen, it isn’t compulsory. Ask him to consider whether he’d be prepared to support a girl who became pregnant.
I’d make sure he knew downloading photos of girls under eighteen is also a sexual offence. I’d also make sure he understands what consent looks and sounds like.
It’s a parental responsibility to support chinto responsible adulthood and that includes safe sex - STI and pregnancy prevention and safeguarding themselves from allegations of assault, rape and child porn.

HaveToNameChange23 · 23/09/2019 18:01

Do nothing!!! If he has them because he's planning to use them, well...it's better than not using them. However, he may well be carrying them for other reasons (such as it's cool as PP have already said)

I carried condoms at that age. I'm female but it was drummed into us at school, at this age (around the time we also had lessons involving how to put a condom on a banana(Hmm)) that girls should carry condoms in case they happen to end up in a situation where they get carried away (Hmm) and 'the boy hasn't got one'!! We were given them free. I dutifully carried mine everywhere (and I also think the cool factor was involved as I'm pretty sure I made out to friends I might actually be using them!!) Though there is NO CHANCE I'd have ever told my mum I had possession of the things!!!! (She'd have had a heart attack!!!)

(For what it's worth, I didn't have sex for the first time til I was about 26!!! Blush)

Original poster
HeartDay · 23/09/2019 18:08

I thought about sex ed but I don't think they would give him 3 or 4 (could be wrong).

OP posts:
Lunafortheloveogod · 23/09/2019 18:11

We got given a bag of 4 condoms at school... most of us binned the printed bag they came in n crammed them into purses/wallets/bags so we’d never have our parents see them.. the rest either carried them n didn’t care, binned them completely or blew them up like balloons..

Could he have had a “talk” recently?

BusyDoingNothingx · 23/09/2019 18:14

Sex Ed from what I know do hand out a few but then clinics also hand out a bag full of them (here they do anyway).

Onesailwait · 23/09/2019 18:23

I dont think you should do anything. Its very sensible for a boy or girl of his age to carry condoms.

Purpleartichoke · 23/09/2019 18:24

Make sure you are keeping a continuing dialogue on safer sex, the importance of consent, and the emotional impact of intimacy.

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