If I mentioned this?

[HeartDay]

Name changed for this as I'm pretty sure my friends are on here and if they ready my pp they would know me.

Today I got my DS'S (15, 16 in December) wallet to put some money in as he needed it for the rest of the week for the bus, lunches and drinks etc. And I saw that there were 3 or 4 condoms in it.

As far as I know he doesn't have a girlfriend. And they were in a pocket he probably thought I wouldn't look.

What should I do?

Enthusiastic consent

Lol. Act awkwardly around him and say you no longer think it's appropriate for you to go in his wallet and in future you will leave his money on the side 😁

This needs a conversation. He is still a child and still underage and if he does have a girlfriend, she is likely underage too. It needn’t be an accusatory conversation. You can ask, homily, if they are ‘for later’ but children cannot have complete privacy while they are young enough to need guidance. It depends partly if you would normally talk to him on the topic of sex. The thing he needs most is a parent he can talk to and the thing he needs least is an angry father on his doorstep protecting his daughter. Hopefully it’s all just ‘we all do it cos it’s cool’.

How would I have a conversation with him about it?

He could be having sex or he could just have them to look "cool" in front of his friends. I remember loads of kids at school carried condoms whether they were sexually active or not!

I would raise it with DS. It'sgood that he has thought of protection but asual sex is never good. and even with condoms accidents happen. (Such as my daughter)

I used to be a youth worker doing sex ed sessions in schools, we would give out bags of condoms to the kids, as many as they wanted really. And would have encouraged them to keep them to hand!

Probably just has them to fit in or ‘look cool’! They hand them out like sweets to young people nowadays!

Agree he might not even be using them.

But if you can have a relaxed conversation about it you should.

Make a joke about checking the expiry date on the condoms😊.then say it’s a good idea to carry them, and tell him if he wants to talk you are always there. Acknowledge it’s a bit awkward, but tell him you just want him to know he can chat if he wants.

Who cares??? He might not even be having sex but just carrying them Incase the situation arises which is very sensible! Would you rather he wasn’t sensible about safe sex? When I was that age loads of youth services gave them out for free so everyone used to have them anyway.

How would I have a conversation with him about it?

The same way you would have a conversation with him about anything else 🤷‍♀️

Are you seriously saying you have an almost 16 year old but haven't discussed relationships and sex with him?

Just seen your last comment - I’d say don’t have a conversation with him! Totally unnecessary, he’s nearly 16, he probably knows everything already and he’d probably die of embarrassment if you brought it up. I know I would if my parents did - even at this age I’d hate it if they talked about sex to me! I think all talking to him about it will achieve is that he will feel really embarrassed. In fact you both will. And he probably wouldn’t be totally honest anyway - if you asked if he’s having casual sex I imagine he will say no even if he is; if you tell him not to have casual sex I imagine he will say he won’t even though he probably will. You know? Id just a save yourselves both the embarrassment and forget it. It’s really not a big deal.

@painauchocolat84

You know the reason you think that way is because your parents failed you in that department. Talking about sex and relationships is progressive. No wonder you would have died if they mentioned it without any previous talk when you were 15.

It's part of being a parent to teach our children about emotional issues as well as practical ones. But you are right, you cnet just start when the kid is 15z

Preventing an unwanted pregnancy in an underage girl and preventing accusations against your son should trump embarrassment in the risk assessment of the situation.
Simply acknowledge the embarrassment and don’t delve for explanation but insist he listens to the need for caution and understands the risks.

Yes I had the relationship talk with him and consent etc but not fully on safe sex.

Could very well be school has given them out, my son was given several at this age from school.

Just ask him and then you can have a sensitive conversation abut it