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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tip when eating out?

439 replies

JemimaPuddleDucksPuddle · 22/09/2019 22:48

Saw a thread on another board that mentioned tipping when eating out and whether or not you should. The majority of posters seemed to think of a person as being tight fisted or ungenerous if they don't tip. I disagree and don't tip as a matter of routine, only if the service is exceptional. AIBU?

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 23/09/2019 07:52

Family.... We own a restaurant

So if significant numbers of applicants turn a job down in your restaurant to work somewhere where they earn even less, doesn’t that worry you?

Itisnotapuppet · 23/09/2019 07:54

what age do you consider older?

Over 40 and I'm talking in general terms.

FamilyOfAliens · 23/09/2019 07:54

I didn't get tipped for being treated appallingly by customers in retail....

And I don’t get tipped in my job public-facing either. Doesn’t stop me tipping waiting staff though.

Grandmi · 23/09/2019 07:55

Agre with Mrs Jack Russell...I always tip because the youngsters are on minimum minimum pay ,and are so grateful for tips .I always check they get to share amongst the staff not management!!

AllStarBySmashMouth · 23/09/2019 07:56

Often restaurants don't even give the tip to the server, it goes into the day's takings.

Why not ask if the restaurant does this and if it does, give your tip direct to the staff.

Because in these restaurants, the staff aren't allowed to keep the tip. They have to give it in. So it's redundant.

But in any case, no one tipped me when I worked minimum wage in a shop so...

concernedforthefuture · 23/09/2019 08:01

I'm with you OP. The server is only doing their job, for which (in the UK) they receive at least minimum wage. If the service is notable, I do tip. But most of the time it's no more than you would expect them to do as part of their job. In countries where tipping is the norm, the service is notably better!

ODFOx · 23/09/2019 08:01

Waiters get taxed based on an expectation of tips, If you don't tip you are cutting their wage as they'll be paying tax on something they never had. Perhaps a service charge should become universal.....
Likewise hairdressers and taxi drivers.

Pinkyyy · 23/09/2019 08:02

Of course it's appreciated, but that's not a good argument. Anyone would appreciate a tip for doing their job, but they don't get it.

I tip people who deserve it. When a family member was in hospital, the nurses on the ward were absolutely amazing. We left chocolates and wine for them all to share and gave £50 to the lady who had really looked after my family member. She appreciated it because she had gone above and beyond. Not just brought us our food without even so much as a smile, knowing there was a compulsory service charge.

WalkAwaySugarbear · 23/09/2019 08:08

We rarely tip, but then we rarely eat out. Only if the service and food are excellent. We as a country accept poor service often without question for fear of upsetting or offending.
Repeat business is my 'tip'. I finally found a brilliant hairdresser and I don't tip but I go every month rather than every year.
I just don't understand why certain jobs expect it and others don't.

Itisnotapuppet · 23/09/2019 08:09

Repeat business is my tip

Great point to make!

easyandy101 · 23/09/2019 08:11

Also where the hell do you all go that the waiting staff are all so hateful?

Do you find that people act that way to you everywhere you go? You haven't noticed a pattern or consistent theme I'm guessing?

isabellerossignol · 23/09/2019 08:13

Decent servers spend 1-2 hours getting to know the people they're serving, building up a rapport with them, making them into regulars, giving them tips on altering the menu to suit their tastes, recommending drinks based on their favourite ingredients, entertaining their children etc.

I eat out fairly regularly and even in the priciest restaurants I've ever visited, I've never had this sort of interaction with the staff.

I do tip in restaurants generally, but I don't tip if the service has been poor, and I'm a bemused as to why anyone would. But it's pretty rare that I get poor service in a restaurant anyway.

As for tipping delivery drivers, I had never even heard of that until I read about it on mumsnet. I don't follow the logic of doing it to ensure that the driver doesn't interfere with your food. Do they bring two different bags and if you don't tip they say 'hang on, give me that back, I need to give you the one I spat in instead...'?

adaline · 23/09/2019 08:13

It's not a race to the bottom, it's just there seems to be absolutely no logic in it whatsoever.

You tip a waitress say, at Pizza Express but I bet you wouldn't tip at McDonalds even if it's one of restaurants that has table service.

You tip a taxi driver but not a delivery drivers. You tip a bartender but not a the girl who works behind the counter at Greggs.

They all earn minimum wage and none of the jobs need any exceptional qualifications, yet some are deemed to deserve tips when others aren't. How about everyone earns a decent wage and then nobody needs to pay extra to support employers not giving a toss.

dottiedodah · 23/09/2019 08:15

I think tipping is a nice thing to do .Many of the staff are young and on a minimum wage ,the hours are long and often anti social as well .We went for a meal in the Summer for DS birthday .It was baking hot ,and the staff were rushed off their feet, but still polite and attentive to everyone .

HeronLanyon · 23/09/2019 08:16

I’ve found it almost vanishingly rare that service has been so bad I have purposely not left a tip. Even then it’s sometimes a result of obvious understaffing, under training etc.

easyandy101 · 23/09/2019 08:16

Depends on your definition of decent I suppose

And still ultimately amounts to begrudging someone of a perk they get

LolaSmiles · 23/09/2019 08:16

I tip if the service is really good. I don't if not.
Many people have to deal with difficult jobs, rude customers, people being obnoxious and they just get on with doing their job.

I particularly dislike places that decide to add on an optional 12.5% service charge on that I ask to me removed. I think it's cheeky and relies on getting money for nothing from people who may not notice or feel too awkward to request an unwanted charge is removed.

Waiters get taxed based on an expectation of tips, If you don't tip you are cutting their wage as they'll be paying tax on something they never had. Perhaps a service charge should become universal.....
Likewise hairdressers and taxi drivers.
What?
Are you suggesting that the wage given to HMRC for PAYE tax is deliberately higher to account for tips that may or may not be given for the next financial year?

VapeVamp12 · 23/09/2019 08:18

Why am I not surprised that MN generally don't tip. Miserable misers!

isabellerossignol · 23/09/2019 08:18

Waiters etc might have their tax code adjusted to account for the expectation of tips. But if they've paid too much tax at the end of the year surely they'd be able to apply for a tax rebate like anyone else who has been taxed too much?

HeronLanyon · 23/09/2019 08:19

If you’ve ever worked in a job where you haven’t been tipped and it rankled and you can now afford to tip wouldn’t that make you MORE likely to tip now ??

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 23/09/2019 08:22

Wow. I would always tip unless the experience had been truly awful. Maybe it's a regional thing? We are up North?

Uniformuniformuniform · 23/09/2019 08:22

No if you knew the area we live in the people who apply tend to be of the younger generation who think that they can work weekends only for a high price. We find staff fine. But you wouldn't believe the amount of 18 year olds who think they should get 10 an hour. We don't even pay ourselves that. We would love to pay staff more but the amount of tax we have to pay on different things, plus the business rates, rent, utilities. Permits if we have a younger worker. We have to 520 a year just to put 2tables outside with 4 chairs. Even though we already paid for the planning permission and a license. Plus all the other permits and licenses on top. We are trying to sell because it just isn't viable.

TatianaLarina · 23/09/2019 08:22

I always tip - restaurants, taxis. Only tight arses don’t tip.

LolaSmiles · 23/09/2019 08:23

vape
I tip when it's appropriate to. Someone just doing their job to a basic standard isn't it I'm afraid

It's not about being miserable. There are many times I will tip more than is typical. But I'm not having this social expectation of paying more for people doing their jobs or companies (who can choose how to pay their staff) trying to pass on covering their wage bill to me as a customer by calling it n optional service charge.
Mid range chains have enough money to pay staff properly without trying to dictate my tips.

666onmyhead · 23/09/2019 08:27

I tip if the service and food is lovely . I agree if it's crap then I don't and I explain why, so they can maybe try to improve.

But, do remember that very often kitchen staff and waiting workers are on probably a lot less income than you ( given you can afford to eat out ) so please consider that before you decide wether to tip or not .

Tips can top up a meagre wage.