To not tip when eating out?

[JemimaPuddleDucksPuddle]

Saw a thread on another board that mentioned tipping when eating out and whether or not you should. The majority of posters seemed to think of a person as being tight fisted or ungenerous if they don't tip. I disagree and don't tip as a matter of routine, only if the service is exceptional. AIBU?

I worked as a waitress years ago so I get it. I worked in the US, and our minimum wage was about 40% of what everyone else got. So tips made up the difference - not so we got more money than the bus boys or kitchen staff, but so that we gave good service.

But I don't tip a lot, and it's caused arguments with friends in restaurants when the bill comes and we try to split it. I look at how much the bill is and what a reasonable amount is to tip. If we've spent £200 as a large group I'm not going to leave £20 tip. Sorry. Equally I'll often leave a couple of quid in a tea shop on a £6 bill

Yes they work hard, and yes it's minimum wage, but same with other jobs as has already been mentioned. It's a nonsense.

Tips can top up a meagre wage.

Why is it the customers job to top up peoples wages?

I only tip if the service I receive is above And beyond. So rarely. Years ago I used to tip all the time sheep like, until I realised that I work just as hard as a waiter for probably about the same money and no one tips me. I hate it when people say that they or their kid rely on their tips to get by. No. Not in the uk they don’t. Tips are a bonus, they are not needed to survive.

And the vast majority of wait staff are under 25 and thus not entitled to NMW

But that's not the fault of the customer and they shouldn't feel pressured into leaving a tip because of it.

I agree that NMW is pathetically low it's not the responsibility of the customer to compensate for that. Businesses should be paying a living wage and not making their employees rely on tips and benefits to survive.

I don't tip .... not in a negative way but I just don't. I've had minimum wage jobs, low paid jobs with long hours and I never got tips. I don't see how bringing someone their food that they paid for should mean I fork out an extra 10-20% when customer service roles don't get tips.

Most places service charge is applied anyway !

How many of you non tippers are going to be back on here complaining in a few years that your dc's aren't given a tip?

A close relative is a carer. She works incredibly hard for £9 an hour. Her employer treats her like shit. If she is sick she gets yelled at if she can’t come in. It’s an incredibly hard, very stressful work. She doesn’t get tips.
She has also worked in bar jobs, shop jobs etc and this is far more demanding. She does it because it fits in with a course she is doing and because she wants to work with people.
I really don’t see why restaurant staff should get tips unless they’ve gone above and beyond and I know it’s going to the person concerned.
Tips are routinely put in a pot and shared. Except it often goes to a staff party or night out, not into the pockets of the staff member concerned.

The staff would probably end up spending it on a night out anyway given the massive substance abuse in the hospitality industry.

I do tip. Always. It is so ingrained and I’d feel embarrassed not to.

However it does irk a little bit when people say they need the tips to live etc. It shouldn’t be down to the customer to subside minimum wage employees. That’s their employers problem not ours.

I'm shocked at how few people tip. It's a convention, sure, but I thought it was one that was well ingrained. If service is truly appalling, I don't tip - but I'd also say that service had been appalling. But broadly, I always tip at least 10%, and will go up if service has been excellent.

And I can honestly say that I wouldn't be friends with someone who didn't do the same - if that makes me old fashioned or snobbish, so be it. But waiters don't earn good money, often work unsociable hours, put up with a lot and are taxed with tips. I can't understand why ou WOULDN'T tip frankly.

This discussion reminds me of Reservoir Dogs :

“Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight: you don't ever tip, huh?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip. If they really put forth the effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, this girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was OK. But she wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
[They all laugh]
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee, alright? And we been here a long fucking time, and she's only filled my cup three times. I mean, when I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
Mr. Blonde: Six times? Well, what if she's too fucking busy?
Mr. Pink: The words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.
Nice Guy Eddie: Excuse me Mr. Pink, but the last fucking thing you need's another cup of coffee.
Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ. I mean, these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage, and when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.
Mr. Blue: You don't care if they're counting on your tips to live?
Mr. Pink: [rubbing his middle finger and thumb together] You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
Mr. White: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
Mr. Pink: So is working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do ya? Well why not? They're serving you food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bullshit!
Mr. White: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips.
Mr. Pink: Fuck all that.
Mr. Brown: [laughing] Jesus Christ.
Mr. Pink: I mean, I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would appear to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. I mean, if you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're givin' me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.
Mr. Orange: He's convinced me. Gimme my dollar back!”

How many of you non tippers are going to be back on here complaining in a few years that your dc's aren't given a tip?

Not me. My kids are all in college/work, don't receive tips and don't expect to, because I haven't brought them up to be entitled.

I tip in restaurants.

But reading this thread, it does strike me as weird why that's convention but not tipping shop staff / carers / other MW jobs? What makes waiting tables different?

I don't (generally) tip taxi drivers. Or hairdressers (because where I go they charge an absolute fortune).

I always tip waiting staff, and think it is tight if people don't.

And as for "no one tips me" - it isn't a race to the bottom. I used to work in retail: poorly paid and horrible customers - it doesn't mean I resent tipping

How many of you non tippers are going to be back on here complaining in a few years that your dc's aren't given a tip?

I tip for great service but not people just doing their job.
I didn't get tips for my Saturday jobs, including dealing with customers who fek we should remain open for another hour because they wanted a gift box making up 10mins before closing time on Christmas Eve.

I think the whole thing of tipping being expected is what really annoys me. It's almost like there's a sense of entitlement that just for bringing food they're entitled to extra cash thrown their way.
Tipping should be a positive act of generosity, not an expectation to whine about if someone doesn't.

Then again, I feel tipping may be the same as poppy wearing where instead of it being a positive statement that someone may choose, some people decide that someone not wearing one is a lack of respect. I wear a poppy by the way.

Or people being expected to wear various cause lanyards/badges at work to symbol they care/treat people equally. Instead of people being free to choose a positive statement, some adopt the position if you do t do X Y Z then you are lacking respect or just care.

On many things I think the attitude has flipped the wrong way round so what was previously personal decision based on belief or genuine generosity has become an expectation that people judge if you don't.

I can't understand why ou WOULDN'T tip frankly.

Because I too work unsociable hours for little pay, put up with a lot of shit (quite literally, as a carer), am a single mother, who's kid's father has provided a penny in maintenance for years, and I wouldn't want to be your friend if you thought a waiter deserved my hard earned money more than I and my kids do quite frankly.

I'm going to an afternoon tea on Saturday. I'm the organiser so I'll deal with the bill. It's £45pp, there are 4 of us going and they add on a 12.5% service charge.

How the fuck does bringing us our teas equate to deserving nearly £25 in tips?

I'll be having the service charge removed from the bill and leaving a cash tip on the table. Nowhere near £25 though!

I'm also getting my hair cut in the morning (by the owner) but I'll tip there and take some nice biscuits as she's coming in early for me.

Service above and beyond warrants a tip, just doing your job doesn't imo.

Aprillygirl
Because I too work unsociable hours for little pay, put up with a lot of shit (quite literally, as a carer), am a single mother, who's kid's father has provided a penny in maintenance for years, and I wouldn't want to be your friend if you thought a waiter deserved my hard earned money more than I and my kids do quite frankly

Exactly!

Many people on this thread are having a go at each other for tipping/not tipping.
How about looking at the Bosses who pay minimum wage and expect staff to work antisocial hours etc. Are they making a big profit? Yes they are - they are the ones who should be paying more - It shouldn't be down to the end customer to make up the staff wages!

Cool that people think hairdressing is the same job as say being on a checkout

Wasn’t aware that people needed to train for a minimum of a year to operate a till but there you go

Also good to know that my clients tomorrow will be fine with me leaving them sat in the chair with their roots half on or hair half dried while i take a 20 minute scheduled break away from the salon as per the working time directive 😊

I don't get why people say things like oh they're on minimum wage, they need their tips. There are SO many jobs that pay minimum wage, yet you wouldn't tip them, as you've not been brought up to think it's normal.

My partner works for a funeral service and he's on minimum wage. He works long hours, and works incredibly hard for the families, and he very very rarely gets tipped. He's been in the job ages, and has been tipped once. So what's to say that someone who serves food has more of a right than someone who helps you to respectfully lay your loved one to rest?

I don't tip as a matter of course, but I WILL tip if the server does something that's really nice or helpful, that they didn't have to do.

My grandparents tip at least £5 whenever they go out, whether they're happy with the service or not! I think that's madness.

IMO the best thing to help servers is to be polite and patient. That makes their job much easier than any tip.

Also, I don't have the most money to spare in the world, so it annoys me a lot when people ask why I'm not tipping as the staff get low wages.. I just think.. hello?

How about looking at the Bosses who pay minimum wage and expect staff to work antisocial hours etc. Are they making a big profit?
This ^^
I'm much more inclined to tip at smaller independent places than large chains who have more than enough money to pay staff properly.

Unihorn

I have also worked in both and find it just weird that people will tip someone in Nandos, who has less contact with the customer than a staff member in Macdonalds.

I find the automatic service charge on the bill to be the norm now in London and unless the service was bad I'd be too embarrassed to ask the waitress for it to be removed. Do people ever just leave the amount they want to pay on the table and walk out? I'd find that easier...

Some pretty nasty PP on here, most hospitality workers get paid according to age so £6/7ph not £8.21 for students/under 25. One of my DD is a student and her tips cover her taxi home due to the unsociable hours. I’m disgusted at the people who take pride in not tipping, I guarantee if the roles were reversed you’d appreciate a tip.