Visiting in laws

[anglepoise1]

My aging in-laws have recently moved to the same town which has been great for them and us. They are in a much better house and the location has much better amenities.

They're 10 mins walk from our house.

They've been looking after our youngest one day a week and the eldest after school, mainly at our home as it took a while to move into their new house, but it's nearer to the school plus the kids have all their toys etc.

A very small but slightly irritating question to me:

AIBU to expect them to ring the door bell if they pop round for any reason? Or like today, they've come round for lunch.

My family would ring the door bell, and I would too. My mum felt it was important that they do this as did a friend, before they moved up. If my parents lived nearby they would do so, and do so at my sibling's house who they live near.

I never knew it would annoy me as much as it does when they just wander in! I think it's my upbringing v theirs?

And I'm really not sure how to broach the issue. I feel it's been happening for too long now to say anything (a few months.)

If you know they’re coming and the door is unlocked anyway, what exactly is the problem?

YABU we just ler ourselves into eachothers houses in my family and just shout hello

We've just had a warning via the facebook neighbourhood group from the police to keep our windows and doors locked at all times, even when we're in, due to a spate of burglaries in the neighbourhood performed while the homeowner was actually home.

Could you perhaps bring it up directly, saying just FYI, just seen this and am going to make sure I'm doing this, perhaps you and FIL need to do this as well MIL. . . don't know what the world is coming too. . .

You're going to have to bring it up with them and be firm. Different people have different attitudes to this...we always knock at my DPs even though we have a key, but my PIL tell us off if we don't just let ourselves in!

“You're going to have to bring it up with them and be firm”

Yep. Because that's the best possible way to deal with somebody who does things differently to you.......

I’d be very wary of being firm over something so trivial with a family member who I was relying on for childcare and who’d seemed ‘surprised’ when I’d put the chain on the door.

I thought everyone locked their front doors!

I wouldn’t like it personally. I’d be horrified if someone let themselves in when I wasn’t decent.

If you’re expecting someone why would you be horrified that they’d let themselves in?

If you know your in laws are coming over for lunch “after church” why wouldn’t to be “decent” from about 11 ish?

How old is your youngest? Could you say they've been trying to open the door so you're keeping the chain on to stop them escaping?