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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for a £10 back

34 replies

UhOh4321 · 22/09/2019 11:06

Last month, I went on a holiday with a group of friends. I paid for the big shop and everyone paid me back except one person. I don't mind asking for people for money when it is owed to me but does it sound petty as it is only £10? It seems unfair on the others who did pay if I don't ask her.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 22/09/2019 11:07

She’s probably forgotten. Ask.

Pinkyyy · 22/09/2019 11:09

I would never ask for £10 back, but I'm fortunate enough to be in a position where that isn't a significant amount of money. If someone is struggling then £10 is a lot to them and they would need it back and I would see no problem at all with them asking for it.

With that being said however, you've left it a month without asking for it. Is there a reason for that? I think if you wanted it back you should have asked a lot sooner.

Shoxfordian · 22/09/2019 11:10

If she's someone you see regularly then maybe she's going to pay for your drinks next time or something. A tenner doesn't make that much difference to me but if it affects you then you should ask for it back

Cherrysoup · 22/09/2019 11:11

Ask. She hasn’t forgotten.

QuimJongUn · 22/09/2019 11:14

If you can afford to let it slide, let it slide. If you need the tenner, ask for it. If she's genuinely forgotten she'll probably be a bit contrite when you remind her.

dustarr73 · 22/09/2019 11:15

I would ask,its the principle.Not fair on everyone else who paid.

Durgasarrow · 22/09/2019 11:23

I think it's fair to ask.

Vulpine · 22/09/2019 11:25

This is the problem with being the generous one who offers to pay

Boom45 · 22/09/2019 11:32

I'd ask. I am terrible with small debts, my friends and I often pay for stuff for each other and then settle up and we all forget from time to time. One friend recently paid for a couple.of things (flowers and theatre tickets I think) and I knew I owed her but didn't know how much, never quite remembered to ask exactly what I owed when I saw her. Paid her eventually but it was probably a couple of months before she told me how much it was and I actually handed over the cash!
It's only a tenner so it's unlikely she's so strapped she can't afford it (and if she is I'm sure you'd have noticed and could wave it if you wanted to) just ask her next time you're together.

ScreamingValenta · 22/09/2019 11:38

I hate that kind of awkward situation and if I'm honest, I probably wouldn't ask (I can stand to lose £10.

However, I think you should ask, rather than being a pushover like I am - it's just how to do it without feeling embarrassed. If I had to do it, I'd try to sound casual about it - 'Oh, by the way - have you got that £10 you owe me from last month?' and if she said no, 'Okay - could you let me have it tomorrow?'

katewhinesalot · 22/09/2019 11:39

Just ask. I'm likely to forget and am then mortified. I always tell people to remind me.

Jaxhog · 22/09/2019 11:40

Whether you can afford it or not isn't the point. She borrowed it, so it is perfectly reasonable to ask for it back.

RONNIETRIX · 22/09/2019 11:41

Ask definitely. She has probably forgot.

SunshineAngel · 22/09/2019 11:42

It always does my absolute head in when people say things like I shouldn't ask for money back. It's MY money, that I earned, and I'm not the richest.

Okay, so if you say you'll buy a friend a meal it's not fair to then demand money back, but if it's a situation like this where they had AGREED to pay it back, and everyone else has, I would absolutely ask for it.

It's all about the agreement that you decide on when you give them the money. If you make sure you know you expect it back, you should get it back. I don't know how many friends you went on holiday with, but say there were 6 of you, and NONE of them paid back.. suddenly you're down to the tune of £50 - which obviously wouldn't be fair.. so why should one get away with it?

Steviestamborine · 22/09/2019 11:42

Yes you should ask but I’d find it hard too, annoying. I’d probably ask her to lend me a tenner if I’m honest then forget it, if everyone hadn’t paid you’d be very out of pocket. Unless I guess she was generous and bought you a couple of drinks.

lizzielizard · 22/09/2019 11:52

P'raps you owe her £10 from a previous time. You could ask her that as a way of letting her know that there is a debt outstanding. I don't think it matters if it's £1 or £100, the money is owed and should be paid.

GrouchoMrx · 22/09/2019 11:54

Just say it to her. It doesn't have to be a big deal. She has probably forgotten.

OMGshefoundmeout · 22/09/2019 12:00

I’d send a group message ‘thanks to everyone who has given me the £10 for the shopping. Can anyone who hasn’t send the money this week x’. Hopefully that will jog her memory tactfully.

CacenCrunch · 22/09/2019 12:01

Just ask, I would

guffaux · 22/09/2019 12:08

ask to borrow £10 off her and wait for the penny to drop...

PeoplesPoet · 22/09/2019 12:29

For me it'd depend on her financial situation - ie if she was a struggling single mum on a low income, no definitely not. If she's comfortable then yes!

PeoplesPoet · 22/09/2019 12:30

^^ Obviously depends on your financial situation too.

Yabbers · 22/09/2019 17:56

I’m amazed so many people borrow money and then forget about it.

I wouldn’t ask, but then unless there were 10 of them! I’d probably just have paid for the shopping anyway so that probably makes a difference to my view on it.

Cheeserton · 22/09/2019 18:16

Never ceases to amaze me how many on MN are apparently prepared to just junk a debt and write it off.

Ask for it! Might only be a tenner, but it's owed to you.

PositiveVibez · 22/09/2019 18:26

It's been too long. The holiday is over and it's been almost a month.

You should have asked when everyone else was giving you the money back.

I would leave it now rather than 'remember that shopping from a month ago, you still owe me a tenner'