To ask for stories of short marriages to make me feel better?

[gbbo123]

Has anyone married and known they've made a mistake? Ive been married 6 months and I know it's not right, but for various reasons I went through with it hoping things would get better and didn't want to let anyone down. I feel totally trapped so hoping people can make me feel better with similar positive ending stories?

Um... 28 days after i married who i thought was the love of my life i found out he was a paedophile. I had to wait until I'd been married a year before applying for a divorce.

I'm now engaged to a man i can trust and we're getting wed next year. Good things can come from bad ones.

I left my husband less than a year into our marriage. Well technically 2 months when he first started hitting me, but I was too embarrassed to follow through with it. I'm enjoying reading some of these positive stories

Feel free to use my story as the cautionary tale. My first marriage took place in an April and I knew by the August I had made a mistake. It took me five years to leave and I regret those five years so much. I wish I had got out within that first year instead of worrying about what people would say.

Do not make the same mistake that I made!

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I have been sitting on the fence about leaving...fearful of the future

I know 3 couples who did this, all had been together a long time beforehand, all split up around 6 months after getting married.

One actually ended up back together again a few years down the line. The others found new partners and the ones I am in touch with seem really happy in the long run.

It was a really difficult time immediately after the break up though, particularly for the spouse who didn't initiate.

In the instance that I am closest to, the person who didnt initiate it found a new partner far more suited to them than their first spouse had been anyway.

I married my ex at 21 years old, and was a divorced single mum by age 23.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I was way too young to get married but I learned a lot from the experience. I'm much happier now and know that if we had stayed together we would both be miserable.

My first marriage was an utter disaster. Knew within the first few weeks i’d made a mistake. I probably knew before but couldn’t stop the whole process. Was divorced within 2 years and definitely should have cut my losses sooner. Was 27.

It seemed so huge at the time -like all eyes would be on me, some enormous scandal.

I dated for a bit then met second DH at 32, married at 34, 1st DC at 35, 2nd at 38 and 3rd at 42. It’s an entirely different life and I don’t feel the slightest angst over the whole thing now.

Being the first in your peer group to divorce can feel isolating, but you won’t be the last. What’s strange is that I have friends divorcing around me now, who were married long enough to have kids and huge assets to divide, and if I casually mention my divorce I find they’ve entirely forgotten I was married before. Just a reminder of the small part we play in anyone else’s attention and memory.

I knew my first marriage was a mistake but I thought he would change (like he said he would - ha, how naive of both of us) and all my friends were getting married and I was lonely.

I should have left, but instead I got pregnant. Didn’t leave for 18 Years. What a waste for both of us. We could both have found the right person years earlier if I’d have left sooner.
Leave now.

I knew booking my wedding I was making a mistake. I put it down to nerves. 12 months in he ups and leaves to go back to his ex (who he hadn't been with for a good 2/3 years before meeting me)
If nothing else I think at least my grandparents saw me get married. I treasure those precious few photos I have with them.

My second husband was (is) a massive bellend. The whole thing was a mistake but I felt like I couldn't call the wedding off literally the week before so I went through with it. I moved out 2 months later. Our shit relationship could have its own thread. Or eastenders storyline.

If I could change anything, it would be that I never married him. I definitely don't regret that we broke up! If you're not happy, you're not happy. Just be as kind as you can when you leave

Yes, married for 12mths, his family wanted us to marry, I was unsure if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. My parents tried to talk me out of it, in the end he had an affair, I wasn't happy anyway and I used this as a reason to leave. We didn't have much possession wise, he took his stuff I took mine. Our house sold quickly, split the equity. There were no kids, it was all very amicable, divorce was quick as he admitted adultery and I moved 300 miles away to restart my life !
This was 24 years ago, I met my lovely DH about 2 yrs later through a work thing and we've been married for 20 years. We have three lovely kids. My parents didn't try and talk me out that wedding !!
Hope that's a positive story for you, leave him and find someone to enjoy your life with !

I married at 18, virtually straight out of school and I'd only known him three months but I wanted to be emancipated. I was still my parents' child until I was 21 back then and had a very difficult relationship with them. Thinking about it, it's quite surprising they gave consent but I think they were worried I'd become pregnant.

It lasted fifteen months. We divorced. It was harder for him and I'm sorry about that but he moved on and married someone else, had a family.

I married again at 25 and that was forty four years ago next month. Lovely man and very good father.

The thing is, you'd be doing both of you a favour by calling it quits now. You shouldn't be married to someone you don't love and he shouldn't be married to someone who doesn't love him. By leaving now, you are setting both of you free to find the right person, the person you can love and be loved by completely. Don't deny that to either of you.

As far as a short marriage, I was married at just barely 20 and divorced by 25. I knew it was a mistake from the moment I accepted his proposal but I was young and foolish. As I was being walked down the aisle my mind was screaming 'Turn around and run!'. As we took our vows my mind was screaming 'Say NO, Say NO!'. It took me almost 5 unhappy years to get up the courage to leave.

I met my now DH a few years later. We've been married over 30 years and have raised two fine sons. We're retired now and life is and has been good. I shudder to think how my life would have been chained to a man I didn't love and who treated me terribly.

Do it. Tell him you're sorry to hurt him, but you cannot stay married to him. It would be false to him and false to you.

We all make mistakes, just different ones.

2 of my friends
one after 7 months knew it was over
one after 19 months
My sister, we all knew something was wrong before they married she was separated before her first anniversary. He left his computer open and she found hideous images of child abuse. Mum and Dad wanted her to go to relate!!! thankfully DH and I were perfectly clear that she was correct in thinking this was game over.

I literally knew as we were saying vows that I shouldn't marry him, however I had 2 kids in rapid succession and he turned out to be even nastier than I ever dreamt possible I left when youngest was 6weeks old that's 16 years ago.Our marriage lasted 2.5 years .
I never remarried,didnt want to but I never regret ending it,I adore my children and never regretted them but dont get pregnant it ties you to him .
I was married 2 kids and divorced by 28 years old before most of my friends had even married, but now Ion our 40s plenty are divorced.
Be happy,life is too short.

This happened to not one, but two of my friends. It actually followed a similar pattern with both of them.

Got married fairly young (mid-20s).

Realised within a year or so that it wasn't right. Also met someone who they thought WAS right for them.

Got divorced (no kids).

Got together with the other guy.

Married the other guy (although only after a good few years of thinking about it!)

Both now been with their new partners for about 17 years and counting. Both child-free by choice (got their partners to have vasectomies).

Wow, now I write all that out it's actually surprising how parallel their lives have run!

Everyone now views their first husbands as a minor blip in the past.

Got to agree with the general opinion here: DON'T HAVE KIDS IN THIS MARRIAGE. Really crucial. (Also, end the marriage, obvs.)

5 years. I started to get serious cold feet in the run-up to the wedding and asked him if we could postpone, but he said no, either we marry now or the relationship is over. I married him. I hated my wedding day, hated being married, resented him, caused myself and him huge pain. Divorce was nasty and went on and on (though no DC).

Ironically, my parents were really supportive when I was thinking about cancelling the wedding, but couldn't cope with the divorce. We don't speak any more. My parents have issues, though.

Anyway, I'm happy and healthy and single. He's doing fine so far as I know. It wasn't right and we were both better off out of it. OP, if you're really unhappy, please take that seriously. It will be OK, but it will be OK faster if you act.

I'll echo most other people.

Got married too fast as I thought it would make a rocky relationship stronger. Escaped quickly and no children, thank goodness!

Met a wonderful man quite soon after. Thought it wouldn't last but 20 years and 2 kids later - here we still are!

Leave him. You both deserve happiness. Don't have kids and then you can have a clean break and both start again.

Good luck

I know 3 couples who did this, all had been together a long time beforehand, all split up around 6 months after getting married.

I know two couples to whom this happened. It’s almost as if getting married was a last-ditch attempt to prove to themselves that they still wanted to be together and could make it work long-term.

Both wives are now happily remarried; one with a child. Obviously at the time it was heartbreaking to have a marriage last less than a year, but maybe it was what they had to go through to find the men they were really meant to be with.

I absolutely agree; no stigma or shame in divorce - and, if you're not sure that you want to be in the marriage, please don't have children with them, you'll be tied to them forever.

Best to you, OP.

Left my ex after 18 months of marriage aged 24.
Best thing I did. Funnily enough, I know a lot of people who divorced after a short period.
Standing joke in my family now that it’s better with a practice run!

Honestly OP. Is hard and I’m sorry it isn’t working out, but don’t waste your life.

I got married for the first time knowing it wasn't right. I was 24 and had been with the guy since I was 18. I had no confidence and honestly believed no one else would want me (he was a controlling bully)

Considering things were so shit I could barely let him touch me, By some miracle I had DC1 8 months after the wedding but within a year we were separated

It embarrasses me now looking back how little regard I had for the sanctity of marriage as i knew full well it was completely the wrong thing to do. And also the fact my parents spent a fortune on the absolute joke of a wedding 😳

I got remarried at 31 and meant it that time. And we've had 2 more DC together

I have you my story up thread. I met my second DH through a couple I met on the honeymoon that I had with first DH, so it helped me come to terms with the fact that I had to go through that shitty first marriage to find the good marriage. If it's not right then don't waste a single more second of your valuable time on this earth. When you are with the right person it just does feel right.