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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is just beyond grim

43 replies

tinkywinkyshandbag · 21/09/2019 18:04

My lovely 18 year old DD works in a smart Cotswolds gastropub. But this would be grim anywhere to be fair. So today a family comes in for lunch. Sit at table in main part of pub. In another part of the pub there is a table set for 21 for a later lunch but empty at that time. Family ask if their kids can have a nap there. DD replies no sorry as it is all set for lunch and the other party would be arriving soon. (Kids not in pushchairs btw). So the family eat lunch and leave. During the lunch she notices parents changing childs trousers - at the table! But she is too busy with other customers to say anything. After they leave, another customer tells DD she saw their kid wet their pants on their chair. DD goes over to their table and sure enough finds soaking wet chair just left. There is a loo with a baby change just nearby!

DD says that this kind of thing is common. Parents typically leave a huge mess, used nappies under the table, etc. And people wonder why waiting staff don't like kids!

One family left the table where their kid had vomited under the table and didn't alert the staff - apparently it had gone everywhere.

DD understands that these things happen - but surely you tell someone, don't just leave it? And maybe an extra tip?! And you definitely don't strip a toddler in the middle of a restaurant?!

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 21/09/2019 18:06

Yep
Grim

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/09/2019 18:06

I worked in a restaurant when I was younger. I learnt very quickly how revolting some people can be.

That's disgusting however not surprising at all.

AwdBovril · 21/09/2019 18:08

Who on earth are the 3 people that have voted YABU? The mind boggles...

Eleanoryellow89 · 21/09/2019 18:09

Oh YANBU at all.
when I was waitressing, parents always used to leave food all over the table, crayons in drinks, drink soaked napkins and colouring sheets all over the seats and stuck to the tables. It was absolutely disgusting.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 21/09/2019 18:13

That is very grim :(

@Eleanoryellow89 dose a generous tip make up for this? We have had a few um, messy meals with our toddler and I always try and leave a good tip to make up for it :(

NatashasDance · 21/09/2019 18:17

Who on earth are the 3 people that have voted YABU? The mind boggles...

I pressed the wrong button- sorry

makingmammaries · 21/09/2019 18:18

Nobody did that when I was waitressing in France. Maybe the sense of parental entitlement is not the same. People did, however, block the urinal with cigarette ends and bits of satsuma and then others kept on using it - now that was gross.

IntoTheHoods · 21/09/2019 18:18

@NatashasDance you can change it, just press the other one.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 21/09/2019 18:18

We have had a few um, messy meals with our toddler and I always try and leave a good tip to make up for it

Do you not clean it up?

Eleanoryellow89 · 21/09/2019 18:23

@LivingDeadGirlUK No waiters mind messy tables with kids- there’s a definite understanding and expectation of mess! Of course food is going to end up off the plate and maybe a drink will be spilt. But what makes it ok is when the parents have made an effort to leave the table in a decent state I.e if they’ve tried mopping up some of the spilt drink or picked up the bigger bits of food and put it on the plate ready for it to be cleared.

Grannybags · 21/09/2019 18:24

My son had an explosive vomit episode at FILs favourite restaurant when he was little. The staff were very understanding and helped us clear it up. Exactly a year later the same child had an explosive nappy incident at the same table in the same restaurant. We never dared to go back!
Point is, these things happen but you do the right thing, explain, apologise and clear it up. That’s just basic decency.

tryingforminime · 21/09/2019 18:27

I also work in hospitality ad we get people doing this all the time.

I've had people vomit in a cup and pass it to me. The worst was when somebody shit all over the chair, it was everywhere and they just left it. I've also had someone leave bright green flem on tables.

But I would rather that than the constant abuse we get from the general public.

PeoplesPoet · 21/09/2019 18:36

Oh for gods sake people are so disgusting! Honestly is there not some kind of law being broken? Isn't it a kind of vandalism with human waste...?!

Ugh.

CoffeeAndToffee · 21/09/2019 18:42

I was so mortified recently when I went to a lovely new café only for my toddler to vomit during lunch. Despite me trying to catch it in my hands (something I never anticipated as part of parenthood, but there you go!) it made such a mess of the table and floor. The staff were so kind however, I tried to clean it as best I could with wipes etc, and then I asked them for a cloth and bleach. However by the time I'd come back out from changing my toddler's clothes in the bathroom they had already cleaned up for me. I apologised profusely, but they were so kind and even stopped me on my way out to check if we were ok!

I can't understand how any parent would leave a mess created by their child and assume someone else should clean up after them, absolutely vile!

CoffeeAndToffee · 21/09/2019 18:45

I was going to write them a glowing review, but then realised it would probably do their business more harm than good if I said that my toddler had vomited all over the table there! They'd be avoided by every emetophobe in the country! 🙈

theendofsummer · 21/09/2019 18:59

People didn't used to take toddlers out with them for a meal. It's just not a good idea

HaileySherman · 21/09/2019 21:01

Unfortunately it gives parents a bad name. I remember always getting the stink-eye going into restaurants, because I was a somewhat younger mum (had my girls when I was 23 and 24, so not a teen mum, but still younger than a lot). I remember always being so paranoid that we'd leave everything so neat/stacked/wiped/organized on top of tipping a lot higher than usual. We felt we had too, being young, and like it was the price we paid to go out. Looking back it was silly. I'd never leave a mess and tip well, but I'd have lost the paranoia and the need to try to prove that we weren't awful people.

I mean where we were regulars or knew people we were treated well, but still anywhere else we still got the stink-eye until we left. It's parents like that. They're the reason why I felt that way. They're awful.

siring1 · 21/09/2019 21:08

I pressed the wrong button!

One more for YANBU.

Sorry!

1Morewineplease · 21/09/2019 21:48

Have just posted on a thread about unruly children in a restaurant. Am reluctant to comment here but what has been described by OP is appalling.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 21/09/2019 21:57

In a family chain restaurant, where we’d gone as a last minute thing, there was a family with three children. The parents were on their phones, whilst the eldest child tried to climb into the high chair that the youngest was in. Two of them ran around the table and beyond. None of them ate anything, but threw food on the floor.

Eventually the parents decided it was time to leave and realised that the children had made a mess. They didn’t tidy the table, the floor or the children. The waiting staff were left to clear up the mess.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 21/09/2019 22:25

@Eleanoryellow89 phew that makes me feel a bit better :D

DontCallMeShitley · 21/09/2019 22:31

We saw a sweet little girl with a couple who appeared to be her parents, she was in a high chair. When they left, she was picked up and taken out and she was absolutely drenched in wee, all up her back, the chair would have been soaked.

Poor child would have been like that for ages for it to have been that bad, the people with her just left the high chair and said nothing. we mentioned it to the staff, who also ignored it.

They were sitting close to the toilets so could have cleaned her up.

Also, in another pub, people changing a nappy on the snooker table. We decided not to order food.

Yoohoo16 · 21/09/2019 22:50

Urgh people are vile.
I always tidy up as best as I can when we take dd out.

Me and DM were shopping last week and saw a grown man having a wee on the floor of a high street store. I asked him what the hell he was playing at and told staff, who had clearly seen it before. I’m sure people didn’t used to be so revolting.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 22/09/2019 09:39

YANBU. People are gross.
When I worked in a bar I would sometimes get toilet duty Envy< not envy, in the end I refused. Picking up hand towels on the floor not an issue but some of the things customers left were just disgusting. It made me wonder how they lived.

(How do I vote? I've always wanted to but never have been able to. I can't see anything that will let me. I'm using the phone app if that is relevant. )

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 22/09/2019 09:43

I was coming back from a night out with a friend and you walk through an arcade to get to the road. There was a young woman, crouching down, chatting on her phone, having a piss!!! ON HER PHONE! We actually had to step over her stream! We were shocked. Bold as brass. She didn't give a shit! Thankfully she wasn't having one!

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