Creepy or perfectly innocent?

[PerfectPlum9]

I had a bad experience a few months back & it still haunts me today, so I thought I'd put it to the MN jury & see what you think.

I wanted to have a full body massage at my local health club, something I've done several times before. On this occasion, none of the female masseurs were free, one was off sick & there was a male replacement brought in from another branch for the day. He was available. So in the spirit of being mature about this I agreed to have the man. I went into the treatment room as usual & he was piffling around with various bottles on a side unit. He asked me to undress & lay on the bed & put the towel over me - towel covers just boobs to fanny. So far so normal. Full body massage is normally done naked in this place with just the towel, I don't know how it is elsewhere. Anyway, he clearly kept his back to me studiously arranging his bottles whilst I undressed & I assumed he'd stay that way until I was under the towel, to protect my modesty. He would easily have been able to hear when I'd got onto the bed & laid down. And it would've been professional to not turn around but ask 'Are you ready?' before doing so. But just as I moved to approach the bed he whipped around to face me & caught a full eye-full of me butt naked. I felt horrible. I was absolutely sure he did this 'accidently on purpose'. He then said a kind of 'oops sorry' & turned away again whilst I got on the bed. It wasn't convincing at all & I was really left with the feeling he'd had a deliberate sneaky gawp under the guise of an innocent mistake. I will never ever have another male masseur again after this. I have to say, he did do the massage appropriately & absolutely nothing funny happened, though god knows what was going through his head. When the end came, he left the room for me to get dressed again on my own.

Aibu to be upset/disturbed at what happened?

Is that you Yaniv?

Why on earth would they insist on having your fanny out to massage the glutes? I’ve never ever taken my bottom half off in a full body massage, the most I’ve done is been asked to put on their disposable knickers so the oils didn’t ruin my own.

There’s no way YABU though.

I've had lots of massages and everywhere I've ever been the masseuse has left the room and requester to re-enter. That's been in multiple countries so seems to be a universal norm!

Also I've never taken my pants off! I find that incredibly odd

Never heard of anything like this. I’ve had many treatments from massages/osteopathy/chiropractor/facials etc and every single one of those therapists left the room while I got undressed and under the towel.

I don’t understand why you haven’t reported this. Just bizarre.

massages are pretty intimate, no matter if they're given by a male or female. It sounds more like you felt uncomfortable to start with and your imagination is running wild .. honest mistake and not that much of a biggie! It seems like a massive overreaction on your part that it is still running through your mind months later

It’s not an overreaction. He was totally unprofessional, he should have left the room while the OP got undressed and under the towel and then knocked to make sure she was “decent”.

It would not have bothered me if he caught an eyeful. But if it bothered you, that is all that matters, if you ever feel uncomfortable again you are within your rights to put a halt to the massage, women don’t have to save men’s feelings. Ever.

You don’t need to remove pants to massage glutes!! Ye gads

@PerfectPlum9

I would never let a strange man give me a massage - you should have picked a woman to do it. The same with male Doctors - I used to know a few and one actually told me that sometimes he'd have to leave the room if he was examining an attractive woman... this is true I'm afraid.

Mâle doctors always have a nurse enter the room for an examination, so there is a woman present.
I have had dozens of massages. Masseuse always leaves the room for undressing and knocks to check you are ready. Knickers on, bra off. Yes they hold up a big towel so you can turn over.

You need to report this OP, as he’s probably doing it to other women.
Say you need him to leave the room whilst you dress, as he saw you naked. Let the management ask the question whether it was deliberate or not.

@CurlyWurlyTwirly

I once had a female nurse tell me I had nice legs - they were in stirrups at the time! I guess she was trying to relax me but I think it was an inappropriate comment.

Why are you taking your pants off?

@Jesaminecollins

I’ve been told, « you can hold my hand» when I had blood taken, as I don’t like needles! But the « you’ve got nice legs» is a bit

YANBU whenever I've had a full body massage the masseuse has left the room while I am undressing. This has been the case for several different salons. I would complain if I were you OP, especially since this happened a while ago but is still upsetting you

Also I've always left pants on, and they've always had a big towel over all of me and just uncovered the bit they're doing at the time. This is at umpteen different places.

I have seen a lot of therapists, physios, chiropractors etc. You don’t need to remove your knickers to have your glutes massaged. I wear big knickers, they can be pulled up and down. They leave the room unless I’ve said it’s ok to stay and I would only do this when I know them well enough. In this they turn away while I am getting dressed / undressed and I say when I’m ready. In these instances I don’t strip naked and if I did I’d expect them to leave the room.

What happened to you was definitely not ok. Please complain. As for the size of the towel, words fail me. I’ve never been covered up with something so small. People always use a bath sheet sized towel and/or blanket.

I'd say it was accidental, due to unprofessionalism.

Also, for the love of God, leave your knickers on!! Mortifying for you and your masseurs that you don't 😳

Ask for reassurance that it won't happen again and state that you will never, as a result of this possible sexual offence, use a male masseur again.

YANBU

Even a nurse who is giving you a smear test or similar and going to see everything, asks you to take your trousers and underwear off behind a screen, pop a bit of paper on top of you and tell them when you're ready.

If he stayed in the room because there is no where else to go he should have asked if you were ready or told you to tell him when you were ready.

I very much doubt this will be a one off, and if for some reason he completely messed up and forgot a fundamental part of his job, he should have been massively apologetic not just 'oops'

I've had a lot of massages and it's always been that you leave on pants. I'd be really shocked if they said get naked and I'd say he didn't expect you to be naked

I voted YABU for taking your underwear off! It's very strange and unnecessary

YANBU. I find it odd that you have to take your knickers off. I regularly have full body massages and always provided with paper knickers.

Also the therapist should leave the room.

Yeah should have at least asked if you were ready, definitely creepy.

I won't ever have a male masseur again either after an experience in Thailand. I went to a 'proper' parlour and asked for a full body massage. He did some weird things. Firstly on a couple of occasions rearranged the towel hiding my boobs so he got a glimpse. Worst of all when he was doing my legs (so massage feet all the way up to groin) he 'accidentally' brushed my lady part maybe 5-6 times. I had knickers on thank god but he touched me directly on my most private part. That was horrible.