Expecting a sofa company to care that my daughter choked on a faulty sofa button?

[MadMadsMum]

Over a week ago, I had to forcibly retrieve a faulty sofa button from my 18 month old daughter’s mouth. The sofa is 4/5 years old (from Sofology) and a button had fallen out of the side cushion through no fault of ours. The button was not pulled or broken and simply became unattached to the button on the other side. Fortunately I was close to my daughter and noticed she was panicked and unable to breathe so was able to act.
Shortly after this happened, I called Sofology who despite repeatedly promising to call me, never bothered. I had to chase through email, Twitter and finally again by phone. Through a DM on Twitter, I was informed that due to the sofa being 4/5 years old and not being able to know how the button came loose, they would take no action. After calling them and expressing my concern that no one from Sofology seemed concerned enough about by situation to bother picking up the phone and calling a distressed mother, they offered to send someone to my home to fix the button.
I really don’t want this sofa - that represents a very clear danger to my child as it has 38 other buttons on it - in my home.
AIBU to expect Sofology to take this more seriously and do more than send someone out to fix the button?

And if I hear any more idiotic references to “perfect parents” I’ll fucking scream. How halfwitted can you actually get??

Trying to be gentle here, I know it could have been far worse and it's very scary but ... buttons do come loose over time, my dd pulled one off our former sofa when she was 4 or 5, it was not obvious beforehand but on watching after she was fiddling and pulling them, over time on snaps. If it were brand new it's different but I would check the rest and remove /re sew any which are worrying

Bloody hell! Get a grip 🙄 is your DD your only child? Massive PFB comes to mind, YOU Bought the sofa before she was born, if you feel that strongly about things coming off (and let’s face it it doesn’t just magically detach itself and stay intact) then you’re going to have a pretty hard time of it.

Thanks to everyone who has made constructive comments on this thread. I appreciate both the messages of support and concern for my DD as well as the comments showing the other side. It’s always hard to be very objective in such an emotionally charged situation but I accept that many of you feel that Sofology is not at fault. I posted this thread to see if I was being unreasonable and it would appear that I am - although I stand by my disappointment that Sofology didn’t exercise the most basic of courtesies.
Thanks again all - with the odd exception of the person who questioned my competence in keeping my child safe. To you, I would suggest you maybe think about why you are even on these threads. I came looking for help - not rudeness and unfair judgement.

A 5 year old sofa has been subject to wear and tear even if it is in very good condition. There is absolutely nothing that Sofology could have done about this. Neither is there any reason to go to trading standards. Of course it was a very scary thing to happen but nobody is to blame. If you don't feel you can keep the sofa then either sell it or dispose of it and buy another one.

Which would be what a button fell off after 5 years of use that isn’t there fault they have no duty here at all

Unfortunately it is our responsibility here and it isjust one of those things

We are on the thread to advise whether you are or are not being unreasonable, not to give you advice. If you wanted 'help' (with what?) you shouldn't have posted in AIBU. YABU, by the way. Buy a new sofa if you're that concerned and stop trying to get one for free

OP - you have clearly never been on the end of a totally pointless, time-wasting and ridiculous complaint.

The main thing is that your daughter is all right.

Not that a sofa company who sold a sofa to you 5 years ago writes a letter of your chosen composition - are companies particularly known for writing such letters in litigious times?

It’s 4/5 years old. You are being unreasonable. If it was 4/5 weeks even months you would have had a different response.

OP, they aren't going to tell you this shouldn't have happened because that would imply they were in some way at fault and they aren't. They may well direct any response they decide to make through their legal department and it may take days or weeks.

Most of us who've raised children have probably had a similar close shave and know how scary it is. One of mine swallowed a small plastic disc that he'd picked off the bottom of a lamp. It didn't occur to me to blame the lamp manufacturer.

I have to say that your insistence on immediate acceptance of responsibility for an item you've owned and used daily for four or more years does make me wonder about your motivation.

I’m currently looking for another a new sofa. There was one I saw which was gorgeous but it has buttons and I have a dog. I instantly crossed it off my list as I could predict that he would try and pull the buttons off.

I’m sorry about what happened and it must have been scary but it wasn’t as though it was completely unexpected either.

i would imagine that every time someone sat on the sofa the cushions moved with the impact or weight distribution and over 4 years it has loosened the bindings and either come undone or broken off... it happens, even if you have taken care of the exterior of the sofa.... i cant see how they can be at fault, 4 to 5 years in a sofa lifetime means it has been subjected to a lot of impact to the interior bindings and frame, sitting, bouncing, jumping, climbing, laying, flopping, etc after all that you should expect parts to loosen and/or give way

You say you had to chase a response. You got a response.

How long from you calling to being told there was nothing they could do?

I get this must have been scary for you. But you have had the sofa 5 years. Maintenance of the outside of the sofa is down to you.

You also say you want them to send someone out to repair it. But you also dont want it in your house. They will not pay for someone to come our and repair this. What happens if another comes off in a year. You would expect it again?

You also dont want it in your house. Again that's for you to resolve. How can they actually resolve that. A company will not say anything that could be interpreted as then taking responsibility when you have been using the sofa for years. You need to regularly check the buttons are not coming loose and repair if they are.

And get yourself a new sofa if you dont want it in your house.

I had to ask our council to remove all the stones and sticks from the local park because my 18 month old put a pebble in his mouth at the playground. They scoffed at me and told me it was my responsibility to watch him, can you imagine!

I came looking for help

I'm still none the wiser as to what help you actually wanted.

What part of someone's brain thinks,
"My daughter put something her mouth, I'm calling the company that mad that thing!"

My daughter once almost swallows the cap off a fruit shoot... I should have called and demanded recompense.
But then she also chewed the TV stand, bastard Argos putting edges on things.
And Tesco.. how dare they make shampoo easily get-at-able?

Come on op.. kids put dumb stuff in their mouth. instead of learning companies for meaningless words or unreasonable recompense, use that time to teach your daughter what would and shouldn't go in her mouth.

@Headintheiclouds there are several sneery comments about how OP should look after her child/ is responsible for keeping her safe. I was referring to that when I mentioned perfect parents. Of course we should all do our best to keep our children as safe as possible. However, accidents happen. If there is one thing I've learned since becoming a parent it's not to judge other parents' mishaps, as most of the time it'll happen to me sooner or later too. To sneer at a mother who has just experienced a choking incident (which could have resulted in the death of her child!) that she should keep her child safe and stop angling for compensation is just plain nasty. But by all means scream!

Frankly, if only one button became detached from the sofa after five years of use then it's OP who ought to writing to them to say how good the quality is.

@headintheiclouds of course I have. I'm just surprised nothing is done to reduce the risk of choking - like with pen lids, which all have ventilation holes. Not sure how that would work with buttons though...

OP, sometimes we feel the need to find a guilty party, but a button falling from a sofa that is 4-5 years old doesn’t provide one. This is just an accident, things detach with use, I bet the sofa’s guarantee has expired by now.

OP, it must have been scary for you and I'm glad your daughter is alright now.

I get the impression that you are expecting them to either replace your old sofa or give you money to buy a new one. They won't do either of those things due to the age of the sofa.

What will you do now if you feel your daughter is unsafe around the sofa, practically speaking?

I am so sorry this happened to you, I can't imagine how you felt.

I don't think the sofa company is to blame here and, at a basic level, if they apologised, they could be seen to be accepting responsibility.

Even with every health and safety regulation going, I think it's reasonable for a button to fall off a five year old sofa.

It's a business- acknowledging it shouldn't have happened, saying sorry etc would open them up as liable if you decided to sue. It standard business practice tp avoid being sued.

OP, as a parent you need to teach your child not to put things in her mouth. If you had older kids there would be Lego bits around the floor, unavoidably. Does she go outside? There are pebbles, leaves, sticks and much worse things (cigarette butts, yum). Really, a sofa button is not something to gnt excited about.

It's a sad situation but glad it wasn't serious. Get Sofology to come out and secure the loose button and make sure the rest of them are fixed on tightly.