To not believe partner?

[YoungFallen]

Name changed as could be outing..

Partner said when he was 16/17 he had a dd and he sees her. But her mum had another child when he was 19/20 and he said he is even though he looks ALOT like partner. When he was born he wasn't with his ex and they split up when he was 19.

I asked him to do a DNA test and he refused because he isn't his dad.

What should i do?

Nothing. None of your business, actually.

Leave him?

Too many he/his so I interpret that you believe your DP has two children, but that you DP is claiming to you that only one child, born when your DP was 16/17 is his only child and not the child born when DP was 18/20

If that’s correct, firstly it’s not really your business

If you’re planning to get married, then I do believe it’s your business as visitation and child maintenance will have impact on your life together

However, if the second child does not have your DP lates as father, it’s unlikely you’ll need to factor in this second child for visitation nor for child maintenance.

This is between your partner and his ex. It would appear that they are both confident he isn't the father, and I would have thought they'd know more about it than you.

Why wouldn't you believe him though? There must be a reason for you to doubt him. Why would he deny fathering one and not the other - doesn't make sense.

You can't be basing this on the way the child looks alone, or are you?

His ex said he is the dad aswell. But partner said he isnt.

I dont know why he would refuse but it really is between them

He sounds like a liar and a dodgy twat tbh. If his ex thinks he could be the father how is he so sure he isn't? Why wouldn't he do a dna test to be sure?

If you truly do not believe you dp is telling you the whole truth then you have problems regardless of he if has one or two children.

I don't know how he is so sure. He said his ex is lying. He won't do a DNA test because he knows he's not the dad

So the mother believe both kids are his

But he beleives only the first one is his

Do both children look like him ?

If so then it definitely looks fishy on his part.

Yes they both look like him but the second child looks more like him than his dd but his dd looks like his ex

He won't do a DNA test because he knows he's not the dad

Come off it.
If he "knows", he'd happily take the test.

He's bullshitting.

That's why I don't believe him

Is this to do with maintenance OP? Is he only paying for the 1st child and the ex wants him to pay for both? Is this why he won't do a DNA test in case he is the father of both kids?

Sounds like a hot mess. Trust your gut, get out of that situation.

How long have you been together?

He is only paying for one child but his ex didn't mention about maintenance.

Can't the mum apply for maintenance from him for both children, and it would then be up to him to prove he wasn't the dad to one of them, by dna test?
I do know someone who had a dna test done in similar circumstances and it cost around £95. Maybe the cost is putting him off.

Why would you be with someone you don't trust?

Why would he not want to know though, or have sorted this out before if there was any possibility?

It's weird that he would be in contact with his dd, but not want anything to do with this child.

Could he be wrong about the dates etc. I don't know how else to put this, but is he a bit thick?

Was he with you at the time he could have fathered the second child?

I think if he's so sure he's not the father then there is no reason to not take the test and prove he's right once and for all. However I think he must have an element of doubt as can't think why he wouldn't want it sorted.

Sorry meant to add if the ex says he's the father why isn't she pushing for maintenance of the 2nd child?

He sounds like a real catch!