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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to talk to MIL about this?

6 replies

gazingahead · 20/09/2019 10:43

In a conversation with MIL recently she told me that she has stated in her will that, since DH (my DH, her son) was a sperm donor when much younger, any children who seek him out aren't entitled to any of her money.

I said this was news to me as I was certain DH had never been a sperm donor. Our child is donor-conceived (male donor) because DH did not want to have his own genetic offspring because of the risk of passing down an inherited condition on his side of the family. It was his decision and I respected it.

Everyone in the family knew about this and it's not kept any kind of secret, including from DC. I have had conversations with her about it.

Obviously throughout the whole process it would have been the world of weird if my DH had not mentioned that he himself had donated and I told her I did not believe it. She was just very sure she was right and said she had had it confirmed. I queried who by and she confessed that it wasn't DH, but his sister had told her and her own husband had confirmed it.

DH has since confirmed to me that of course he never donated, but did remember discussing it once with his sister when he was broke at university (back in the £40 quid a shot days), he was only pondering.

My Aibu is, would I be aibu to mention it? MIL and I have an outwardly good relationship but much crap has flown under the bridge. If DC were ever to see that will, for example after we are dead, he could think that his father chose not to beget him but to beget others? I know this is incredibly unlikely but I just don't want it written down .

I asked DH to update her doesn't seem to have got round to it.

OP posts:
MinistryOfTragic · 20/09/2019 15:26

I'd ask your DH to mention it.

thecatinthetwat · 20/09/2019 15:29

Yes, definitely tell her. Why wouldn’t you? It’s you she told about the will, dh isn’t bothered. If it’s bothering you then tell her.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 20/09/2019 15:32

It is possible she suspects he fathered a child when he was younger, the usual way, and is trying to stop this child from inheriting anything. However you don’t know so she is trying to cover he tracks with you? X

doublesheesh · 20/09/2019 15:34

Does your MIL know your dc is not his bio child? Has she become confused with your child bring donor conceived and thinks it's her ds who was a donor?

moobar · 20/09/2019 15:37

Is this her way of telling you your child is not included in the will?

gazingahead · 20/09/2019 15:51

Thanks for your replies, I didn't get any responses on this thread so I posted another www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3696917-Delicate-topic-and-unsure-if-its-worth-the-upset
In answer to your questions, yes she does know DC is donor-conceived. She has 4 other biological grandchildren, all much older. She's definitely not trying to exclude him from the will and is lovely to him.

Anyway, I've emailed her copying DH in on some other stuff and tacked it on the end, so we'll see!

OP posts:
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