To ask if you've ever been caught short

[Sugartits27]

I'm suffering from really bad IBS-D at the minute. So much so that i darent go out. I've had to ask a friend to do the 10 minute school run for the past two days because I'm frightened of going. Long car journeys or going anywhere without a loo are out of the question.

I think a lot of this is also in my head. I give too much power to it and sometimes worrying makes my symptoms worse. I'm trying to rationalise the worst possible outcome and put it into context so I can actually start living again and not be ruled by my bowels!

So with that in mind, aibu to ask you to tell me your stories of getting caught short and what happened/how you managed it....

@SweetPetrichor

Same here!! 29 when diagnosed!!

Currently been glutened so laid up

Almost shit myself this morning coming home from a training course.. I’m gunna do the soare clothes in car thing!!

@MoggyP they were more centred around 'poo perverts' actually. I've never seen the poo troll of MN but apparently it's a real thing. Really sad when you come online for advice because you can't talk about a taboo subject in real life only to be ridiculed and accused online too. As if this condition doesn't make you feel enough of a freak as it is.

I have a bowel disease so it has happened.
Wipes and spare underwear is what I carry about, kind of like an emergency kit

Name changed for this. Out walking the dog and just couldn't hold it in, no convenient bushes as walking round the estate. Had to knock on a friends door but she was out however her husband let me use the loo. So embarrassed 😳

I have loose stools when I’m nervous. I also have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder: Didn’t help that my job was to stand in front of adults all day and train them! So the mornings before work I could easily go 15 times.

But I had this fear of pooing in public toilets. I know that’s why they are there but I couldn’t get over it.

One day driving from the venue 98 miles from home, I was about 50 miles in and I needed to go. Anyway I managed to keep it in, until my front door (it was better than my new car!). But those last 10 miles I was sweating profusely, I have never felt so unwell.

So i really feel for you, I can only imagine what it’s like when it’s worse than what I experienced.

Yes, I have been caught short several times. I have Crohns and have a shortened bowel since surgery. The anxiety you feel when you get the tummy rumble and you aren't near the loo is awful and hard to explain to others (so it's nice to talk to you all!). I am often caught short on dog walks and have to sprint to the school office towing both kids on the school run. Have had a couple of accidents which i find very humiliating and shameful even though they are completely out of my control.
I do have an understanding family and group of friends but there's no doubt there is a huge stigma around bowel urgency, it needs to be talked about and normalised and public toilets need to be brought back!

op at one stage I could have wrote this. My life revolved around being close to a toilet.
What helped me and my family as they suffered because of it, was going to gp, getting all the tests and then specialist referred me to nhs dietician. This was the start of improvement.

I was given a couple of sheets of paper divided into the following sections 1 time.2 all food or drink. 3 any symptoms 4 anything else which could be relevant such as , upset, stress ....
Before my second appointment a clear pattern was showing .

Prior to that my quality of life was poor and yes I did have accidents.
I am a lot better than I was to the extent that I am able to go on holiday. I may be well dosed on Imodium and have a good supply on me at all times.
I still have had the odd accident.
Please pm me as I have had it for years and it can be embarrassing and isolating because it for some reason is seen as taboo.
People don't realise just what it is like and when you need a toilet you have seconds to get there, complete with cramps and sweating and panic of getting in time

Yes I have this too, it's terrible. I started feeling unwell on the train to work and was frantically thinking of places i could go before making an unscheduled stop at Charing Cross station in the hope that they had public toilets, which they did. I also find that the fear of being away from a toilet makes it worse 100%.

A few things I can suggest. If I feel an attack coming on, I press the button on my Fitbit for guided breathing, which helps me to feel more calm. Often I will do a few cycles back to back and may return to it more times in my journey if I need to.

I have had reasonable success with buscopan. I haven't really found Imodium to be that helpful, plus it tends to give me stomach ache/bloating and a wicked dry mouth.

So extreme is my fear that I have altered my commute to avoid the train altogether, and am instead cycling to work. One day a week I do a 35 mile round trip on my bike to avoid the train, but I do it as it makes me feel in control of my journey and reduces my anxiety so much. Plus I have found that increased exercise really helps my symptoms.

Lastly, there is an app, I think it's called 'Where is public toilet?' The logo is green. Looking up where there is a toilet nearby is reassuring.

Hope that helps. In a sense it is a relief to know that I am not alone (I don't mean this insensitively.) i never speak of this to anyone and not even my husband knows the extent to which it affects me.

Oh yeah, I've been there...i have IBS-D too, although to be fair my "caught short" moments have been pretty much 100% reactions to new medication. I have unexpectedly sharted in the bank queue, and in Wilkinsons. I have also been drenched in sweat on the train with huge cramps, holding on for dear life, and have vaulted out onto a platform (mercifully there was a loo right there) mid-journey rather than risk the train bogs.

But I just wanted to add something based on my own experience - that sometimes, when I've already been 20 times today and now I'm trying to relax but I need to go AGAIN - I try to resist it. I know that goes against everything we are taught as children and everything we know to be sensible and healthy, but sometimes I tell myself, my bowel is just irritable and overactive. I don't really need to go again, I'm not ill and there is no earthly reason to be emptying constantly.

This approach has calmed me down when I'm mid-meeting at work, or stuck on a train, or whatever reason I could really really do without the urge to poo right now - and in fact, when you are calmer, the urge does actually recede. The one time I was actually unwell it started at work, and I had to risk the train journey home. The urge struck me on the train, but with deep breathing and visualisation (i.e don't shit yourself) I made it home with undercrackers unsoiled.

Just my experience!

Not so good for walks or public transport but when my ibs has been flaring up I keep a kit in the car boot. A commode bucket and some commode liners (plastic bags with an absorbent pad in, amazon or disability shops) and a pack of wet wipes. Only had to use it once, pulled right in at the side of the road and opened both doors as a screen and did what I had to do! Some plastic gloves helps as well.

Not exactly the same OP, but I'm like this with needing a wee. It controls my life, I need to know that where I am going has toilets, and plan routes if not. I dread going out to do stuff which I know is a shame as it casts a cloud over it, but I can't help it. It affects the decisions I make, I've changed jobs, and no one will help because it's all in my head; which maybe it is, but it manifests very physically. Sorry I can't provide any guidance, but there are more of us out here.

One time at a petrol station.

Was a bit embarrassed and worried but the staff were great about it. Had to fill in a form and come back later to settle in full.

I have to be careful what I eat - some dairy esp cooked cheese - goes straight through without stopping. I won't eat anything that's likely to upset me if I'm on a long journey or not going to be near a loo. I've had a few near misses. It is very difficult.

Unfortunately both things are true. Some people get off on poo tales, and some people have devastating IBS.

I have the same problem. Sounds weird but when I go out I wear heavy flow sanitary towel(just in case) also I take a spare pair of knickers. It helps to reassure me tbh

Yes, I have on many many occasions. I haven't been diagnosed with anything (Should probably go to the Dr) but have can suffer from very suddenly needing to go, and it being utterly foul. To the point where if I'm at work I literally walk out of the building the public toilets close by. I have used a bucket when I'm at the stables. I keep a travel potty (pottete plus) in the car anyway so it could be handy for car journeys. Never yet not made it somewhere . If you count a bucket as somewhere.

Hi Op

First of all, thank you for starting this thread. My IBS has become worse over the last few weeks including a near miss on the commute to work. Mine doesnt seem to be food related but a sudden sense of urgency and crippling stomach pain. There is no rhyme or rhythm as I can be fast asleep and it attacks or in a meeting, queue to pay etc. In the 21 years, I have only had one accident but so many near misses and mad dashes to the loo.

I hate being in a queue, waiting room, dentist chair etc. I always feel trapped and have a flair up. My commute is now an hour on a train with no toilets. 20 minutes into my journey last week the cramping started and I knew I had 5 minutes to get to the loo. The wait for the next station was unbearable and no loo at the station. Frantic dash to the industrial estate and hammering on a factory door at 7am for them to let me in and use their loo. How do we solve it? I really dont know! I keep a spare pair of trousers, knickers and wet wipes in the car (had to pull over a lot and squatted wherever)! Motorway queues are the worst and the feeling intensifies. A plastic bag just in case and I'm very lucky that my boyfriend is amazing and says if I have to go in the car he will deal with it and love me regardless.... but still the fear and feeling of lack of dignity terrifies me!

I think society or social reactions plays an important role. Should you see someone vomit in public, you would likely go check up on them and see if they are ok / offer water. However, a poo accident is not met with the same level of concern, care and acceptance. I wish society would be more understanding and that public toilets were more widely available.

Reading this thread with interest and thank you to everyone who has shared a story. Sometimes it is nice to know you are not on your own :)

Feels nice to know I'm not alone. I suffer IBS-d to. Buscopan helps me during a flare up. I started a new job in June and was also nervous and stressed about it it caused a flare up. I ended up wearing a sanitary pad just in case the worst happened. I then made myself feel like I needed to wear a pad to be safe, so for 3 months my two working days I've wore a pad. This week I didn't and sure enough I spent one afternoon dashing to the toilet. Our brains are ridiculous. Cinema dates with my husband have been ruined twice by me spending almost the whole film in the toilet. Next time we go I'll be taking imodium before hand. Pregnancy made mine so much worse, the only times I have ever actually had an accident has been when I've been pregnant, happened twice. First time wasnt a big deal, second time I had to tell my husband. He was great

Thanks again to everyone who replied. I'm sorry so many other people are suffering but it is nice to know I'm not alone.

My son plays rugby on a Saturday morning which often means lots of trips out to various away matches - some have toilet facilities, others are just fields. This is another source of anxiety but I've bunged myself with Imodium and hopefully will be ok.

Did you see my question about diet up thread?

I don’t have IBS but I am a runner.

There is a house about 1.5 miles from mine that I can’t pass by without blushing at the thought of explosively pooing at the end of their garden (not IN their garden!) and hoping no one saw. I had no choice.

I also once had to poo in some bushes at a very popular gay pickup spot. Again, it was happening whether I wanted it to or not. Man walked straight into me with my shorts down. It was probably one of the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me.

Hi Op,
I could have written this post. I had the same issue and it ruled my life for years. As you’ve identified there are two issues - the physical and the mental.
Physically I kept up going back to GPs for years and doing my own research. Eventually I was referred to a dietician and put on the low FODMAP diet and it changed my life. I hadn’t been able to see a pattern before with triggers as sometimes I could eat foods and be fine. She described it like a bucket and you have too many foods that are triggers and sometimes it’ll overflow and that’s when you get your symptoms.
Mentally, CBT helped as I got to the point where I was having anxiety, panic attacks and avoiding situations. It has helped however my fears weren’t unfounded so I still have some coping mechanisms. Some tips: If I’m going to a new place I look up toilet facilities so I can feel in control if I do need them, I keep tissues and immodium in my bag, I use Waze on my phone to avoid traffic jams (big trigger for me) and I try to utilise breathing techniques to keep calm if the panic starts to grip me. Hope this helps.

@BIWI I think I have a pretty varied diet. In the last month I started slimming world so my diet is still varied but I've just cut a few things out. Typical day would be cereal or fruit at breakfast, lunch a salad and tea a big meal like pasta or curry and so on. I don't think I'm having too much or anything...

Nobody has mention this probably because I am in the older post menopause age bracket .Diet did not help me.
I was soiling myself and not even realising until I felt the dampness . Always carried wet wipes clean underwear in my handbag , took Imodium if I was going out .
I was referred for colonoscopy and discovered that my anal sphincter was badly damaged by childbirth and episiotomies . I had many physical tests .Until menopause my body was able to cope but post I couldn’t compensate .
I had weekly intensive physio with an anal probe to re-educate my holding muscles and also a home washout kit to clear the lower bowel after each movement . That has helped enormously . I also now have soft silicone plugs that I use if I feel insecure .
There is light at the end of the tunnel .
It has become part of my routine and I haven’t had an accident since May .

I fully understand this OP, and I have every sympathy.

I have struggled with IBS for all of my adult life, perhaps longer. Mine improved after an overactive thyroid was brought under control, though can still occur.

It makes you very anxious about going out if easy access to toilets cannot be guaranteed. I have often found myself planning what I do around toilets, which becomes an obsession.

I take Loperamide (imodium) every day.

Get every possible angle checked out by your GP, including thyroid function etc. Other than that, I can't add to the good advice on this thread. It is just good for us all to hear from time to time that we are not alone as it can feel very isolating.